My Boyfriend Looks at Other Females on TikTok (How to React)

TikTok has become the trend of the year and it is fascinating to watch common people turning into influencers so easily. If your boyfriend looks at other females on TikTok, it shows his interest in social media and perhaps in acting. You can use it as an opportunity to talk about his interests and hobbies while talking about yours in the same breath. 

If you want to make him jealous because it burns you to some extent to watch your boyfriend adoring other females on screen, you can do the same. Either make a Tiktok account and start posting, or watch the male artists on Tiktok. 

Want to know more reasons to handle the situation and ways to fix this problem? Read below to find out more. 

Reasons why your boyfriend looks at other females on TikTok 

It amuses him to watch the showcased talent. You can as well ask why one watches a movie. Tiktok if taken broadly is nothing different. It helps one to keep up with the trends. 

To know more, continue reading below. 

#1 He is trying to accumulate ideas to impress you 

By helping you enhance your user experience, and by showing you examples of the most-liked content, your boyfriend might be trying to accumulate ideas to impress you. He has no idea how badly he is failing there. Perhaps if you don’t like it as much, tell him so. 

However, what damage is it bringing to your relationship? If you feel that your boyfriend is a pervert, pay a close look at social scenarios when there are other women physically around him. If he is awestruck in their company and perhaps is unable to control himself, his jaw drops and he embarrasses you, then that becomes a case worthy enough to consider. 

But if he enjoys watching the videos in private, it has to do with his physical urge. Perhaps you don’t share the same requirement rate. Human anatomy differs in men and women, as does hormonal discharge. You are being supportive and giving him space. He is not sinning. It is as natural as you checking out a hot guy at your gym. If you don’t do it, that makes you less interested in sensual activities, not a cheater. 

The trouble occurs when you become a stalker or you approach them with perverse intentions. Don’t be a narrow-minded woman with a sick mentality because such problems are generic and not specifically installed in your man. The alternative here would be to enact his favorite videos for him or with him so that the next him he watches all this, he visualizes you in it.

#2 He finds them fascinating 

If your boyfriend is fascinated by the innate talent of the layman, he might enjoy watching the videos. It would have made him a more ambitious man if he was watching the videos of men for that would show that he desires to be at the other end of the bargain. 

Mind you, it isn’t the women alone that fascinates him but the technology plays a great part too. The use of music, the ability to change the setting, and the use of virtual props is an additional benefit. If your guy is into software, marketing, or has to do with social influencers, this might have more to do with a business purpose than a personal angle.

#3 You check out other guys openly 

If you are not a shy woman who keeps up her veil of coyness, rather you enjoy talking to men and interacting with them openly so much so that you dance at the tip of flirting, your boyfriend might as well take the liberty to enjoy watching women on TikTok. There is no harm in it. 

Try not to be unfair in your relationship. Whatever you do should be done both ways. If you feel that there is a problem at the other end, put yourself in your boyfriend’s shoes and imagine the turbulence that his mind must go through when he watches you checking out, talking, or flirting with your colleagues and guy friends. The humiliation, if you feel so, is happening both ways.

#4 He finds it unreasonable to withdraw his stare 

He might be asking the question to himself, why not look? It is not that he is participating in an act of infidelity. Hence, if certain situations are putting you in an embarrassing situation, it is better to first figure out what is the problem.

If it is insecurity, then is the remedy within or without? Rather than subjecting your boyfriend to your insecurities, work on boosting up your confidence in such a way that people find you captivating, and if they don’t then it is their loss. You won’t have to take the extra load of decoding what his stare might mean. 

Your business should be how he feels with you when you are around, does he notice changes in you, if he doesn’t then where are you lacking? Figure that out and work on yourself. If everything within is well-balanced and productive, life will be easy for you. Your personality should have a tremendous hold and impact at least on your boyfriend.

#5 He likes to make you jealous 

Perhaps it boosts your boyfriend’s ego and makes him think that he is so strongly desired by you when you get all restless and agitated by observing him watching other women on TikTok. Show him that you are not paying attention, or get busy watching some rom-com by yourself and see whether he joins you or gets glad and lets you be. 

If it is the former, he was doing it deliberately. If it is the latter, he is unaware of the damage that he is creating. Perhaps shake him a bit into realizing what will be the immediate impact of his action on your relationship without making him feel shackled down to servitude into pleasing you to infinity.  The approach should be such that you are merely stating a basic concern from your end. When the words don’t bite, change gets more acceptable.

#6 He looks them up on parallel platforms 

Perhaps you are dating a pervert who looks up women on Tiktok and then goes on to find them on other platforms. If he is trying to stalk them, reach out to them, and establish contact, it will be for the best that you ghost your boyfriend without even an official breakup. 

This might get serious. There might be exploitation and harassment related underneath. It is for the best not to take your chances. Some things are not worth paying heavy prices. To know more, click on the link below.

#7 He is bored 

This might be the case when you are too conventional and your boyfriend is just the opposite. A clash of personalities might create stronger hiccups in the future. It is better to find ways and sort them out as quickly as possible. 

In the current case, if your boyfriend is looking up videos on Instagram, it means he has a lot of free time in the world. It also means that he hasn’t invested himself in some engaging hobbies. Simultaneously, if rather than keeping yourself busy doing something passionate, you are getting madly obsessed with your boyfriend, your gaze and concern will act as a catalyst for him. 

He will use it to control you and later brainwash you. Don’t act silly. If the behavior is not acceptable, break up with him. If you think it can be talked out, help him in finding something worthy enough to spend his time with.

#8 You seem to enjoy it too 

If you have never shown your disapproval towards a behavior or an activity that your boyfriend does, you might have led him into thinking that you are an open-minded woman who doesn’t freak out by such petty indulgence because you have the self-confidence and all the desirable qualities that a man might look out for in a woman. 

Hence, if the case stands otherwise, perhaps stop being a pleaser or a woman you think that your boyfriend might love. Instead, be real. Express your opinions and be your true self. Don’t become too dismissive about your boyfriend’s wishes and regards but simultaneously, don’t give him an upper hand in all situations. Striking a balance is mandatory if you intend to have a peaceful journey ahead.

#9 He is crushing on them 

Perhaps your boyfriend is crushing on the tiktokers and he uses the images and videos to fantasize about them later. This is a red flag and you should either consult a counselor here or explain the situation openly to your boyfriend. It is a deal breaker and the sooner you break up, the better. 

As a result of such situations, women get too terrified to trust another man. The moment a man’s eye blinks, women start doubting them. Hence, for your sanity, divorce yourself from such sullen situations as soon as possible.

Related Read: Do Guys Fantasize About Their Crush? (Yes, Here’s Why)

#10 It is the power of the male gaze 

Men love to gaze even when it is creepy. They feel empowered at the same time. They like to make assumptions about the female body. It is related to the science of anatomy. Women have curves and each curve is different. 

Men like to explore that with their eyes when they cannot engage their hands. However, be careful that you are not dating a pervert. The signs that will help you understand a pervert's behavior are as follows: 

• He is always talking about other women
• He follows many women
• He takes a strong interest in your female friends
• His friends call him a womanizer 
• He always makes sleazy remarks about you 
• He wants you to look hot rather than beautiful

If these signs sum up your boyfriend’s behavior and character, it is better to drop the idea of dating him any further. Don’t mistake yourself for a doctor. If you like to take the challenge of correcting a person’s behavior by loving them, it is you who needs a counselor.

#11 He is addicted to TikTok

It can be harmful if your boyfriend gets addicted to a platform like TikTok. The chances that he will be able to use it productively are less. It will take his time and affect his work cycle. He will practice more procrastination. He might get negligent towards you. Hence, a reality check will do him good here. 

You give him two options and help him see the long list of demerits if he continues with this behavior. Make him talk to his friends, get updates on their life, and perhaps even force him to uninstall the app and put it on rest mode. Reducing the screen time, going for an eye checkup, and asking about his plans will help to take control of the situation.

What to do when your boyfriend looks at other females on TikTok?

Suggest to him how you feel about it without posing as a heavily insecure and possessive girlfriend. The importance of giving space in a relationship cannot be underestimated. Help him to understand your feelings better by participating in a similar activity. 

How to do it, read below to find out. 

#1 Watch out for red flags  

Your boyfriend checking out and obsessing over other women on Tiktok is a strong red flag. Some follow-up signs that validate a red flag and should be taken as a trigger to take an immediate next step of evacuation perhaps are given below:

• He is trying to message and secure the Tiktoker's personal information
• He talks about nothing else but them 
• He has started seeing them in dreams
• He is setting unrealistic expectations for you 
• He gets blinded by your tears 

If these are essential facts, you better accept them and move on in life without further ado. 

#2 Expand the horizons of your relationship 

By being more accommodating and giving more space to your boyfriend, you can expand the horizons of your relationship. It will help you to build trust. Trust is the most important element in the relationship. If you aren’t getting confident enough, it means that there is an immediate need to talk things out, spend more time together, and smoothen the tangled curves.

#3 Talk it out 

State your non-negotiables and deal breakers to your boyfriend the moment his actions and behavior make you uncomfortable. The conversations might be difficult to begin with but you will be able to understand his true intention by the keenness he shows in understanding your troubles. If he empathizes with you, he might be worthy of another chance. If he is unapologetically firm with his decision and behavior, you need to change your boyfriend.

#4 Indulge in a similar behavior 

Keep things even by reciprocating negatively and degrading your boyfriend’s experience. Discount the delights and see his reaction. If he doesn’t lapse back or tries to confront you then the case is lost on him. It will make your situation hopeless and miserable. But if it does, you can help him share your perspective, and if the guy is worthy of dating, he will make immediate altercations. 

#5 Give him a reality check 

By talking about his plans and how effectively is he using his time to get closer to such plans, give your boyfriend a reality check to wake him up from the disaster that he is anticipating by his actions. It will also help you to evaluate and estimate your relationship with him, and shockproof you from anything unwarranted.

#6 Gift him a book 

A book can do him good and help him expand his horizons. It will make him a man of character. Books are resources that can help build and modify a man’s personality. Emerge a reader out of your boyfriend. Once he gets obsessed with something more worthy and rewarding, he will let go of the habits that make him bad in your books and gives you a difficult time altogether.

#8 Break the monotony by engaging in something creative 

When you plan and do creative things together such as art or some classes, it helps to build a comradeship that sustains your relationship. It will enable you to raise the bar and do something that is beyond the pettiness of the virtual world. The moment you begin to invest in something meaningful, it will make your relationship sustainable. Get your boyfriend’s views on this and tell him to come up with suggestions. Opt for things mutually so that it is more enjoyable. 

#9 Take a break 

If things get too difficult to bear, you should take a break from your relationship. Don’t let the ultimate goal get divorced from the relationship. No matter who you are dating, your main objective is to make it one hell of an experience. You want to enjoy every moment and create happiness without regrets. The idea is to give your struggles a reason to make all your undertakings and endeavors worth it. However, if the graph is going downward, you are not with the right person.

Tips 

• Relationships are more about how the other person makes you feel. If the other person is unable to keep you happy, it questions the integrity of your relationship. 

• Preach by action. If you don't like something that your boyfriend does, ensure that you don't do it either. Else, it will question your character. 

• Stop the habit of avoiding the red flags. They are called red for a reason. Either sit with your boyfriend and discuss your concerns directly or go for counseling together.