11 Reasons Why He Doesn’t Post You on Social Media (+Tips)
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Not all wishes are expressed. One such wish from your end might be to be acknowledged in your boyfriend’s social space because you are the righteous fit. If you have been dating for months now yet your boyfriend hasn’t made it public knowledge that you are dating, you might wonder why is he doing this.
Is he confused? Does he need time? Is he obsessing over someone else? There can be so many questions that might block your mind. However, I would suggest you calm yourself down. Take two deep breaths for you have made it to the right page. Instead of racking your brain so much, scroll down and read this article where I’ve taken this opportunity to answer all your questions and resolve all your relationship issues.
In this blog post, I will discuss why your boyfriend hasn’t posted you on social media, and what you should do about it. Keep reading to know more.
Why has he not posted you on social media?
It didn’t occur to him that he should celebrate you on social media because he is already so busy celebrating you in his life. He is working his schedule around you to be more accomodative, and to keep a smile on your face intact.
However, he does see his friend posting about their girlfriends or posing as couples together. So can there be a more definite reason that retains him from posting and celebrating you? Continue reading below to find out.
#1 He is not active on social media
The most obvious reason why someone is not making their everyday details public is that they might not be active on a given platform, or so they make you think. The easiest way to know if they are honest is by checking their phone for platforms like Facebook, Snapchat, or Instagram.
It is advisable to look at the hidden application corner set simultaneously. If the applications are available but the account isn't logged in, there is a strong chance that the guy is bluffing. Look up his name on social media.
If an account turns up in the search engine, it means that it isn't that he was never active on the platform. Rather than telling him all about it at once, observe the account's activities from a distance without following it directly, or take the help of your friend for sending a friend request.
Try not to get obsessed with the guy in the meantime or come across as annoying. Instead, pick your clues. For all you know, the guy might be a con man. I'm not suggesting here that people cannot be asocial or someone without an account.
But if they are so, they are, first of all, obsolete to the current era, in other words, they are too old school to care and you might find them boring; secondly, they are not being completely honest with you because in the current era, being an associate is not possible. Even if you don't make your account, your friends will.
Hence, take up the challenge, if the ultimatum is that he doesn't have an account, make one. Send requests to all the mutuals. Handle the account and post pictures together. Everything is doable when you have made up your mind.
#2 He abhors the social world
If the guy is someone who loathes scientific advancement and technology for all the disbalance it has caused in the human world at large, he likes to stay low-key and doesn’t get the hype of the common man all around the world to post about everything trivial and grand on social media, he won’t post about you either.
In a situation such as this, your expectation to want your boyfriend to post about you is uncalled for when you know that he lacks the knack for doing so. It is unrealistic and while you might not be liking it because all your friend’s boyfriends post about them, it is recommended that you focus on the larger scheme of things to make everything work diligently.
If your boyfriend is not keeping the relationship a secret, lets you handle his phone, bares his heart and his wounds before you, makes you feel great about life, helps you in making the best choices, and keeps pushing you selflessly toward something better, he is your man.
Learning to distinguish things that you can control and not control, things that are worth spending your effort on and things that will lose their spark in the larger scheme of things is important. Everything will lose its spark in the larger mechanism, some things will always act as the foliage of gold, carrying a dull luster but never losing its nature, your relationship should be such that even if things appear lukewarm, it can keep you warm in the long run. It is your embedment of comfort, a resource that always manages to put a smile on your face. After all, that is what shall matter.
#3 You never expressed your wish
If you always purse your lips when it comes to expressing your wish but your unfulfilled desires hurt you, you need to work on a behavioral change. Blaming your boyfriend for something towards which he is not guilty is an unfair deal. Instead, you should be able to communicate things to your boyfriend unfiltered and unflustered.
Communication is very important in a relationship. You don’t have to sugar-quote words when you are talking to your boyfriend. Your intention should not be to hurt him or show him down. Hence, drawing a comparison between him and other guys will be unfair. However, expressing a true cause for your mental suffering and taking his help to find a solution might be the way to go.
Saying things to help you in the current situation would be,
- “I acknowledge that the social media world is full of glam and sparkles, but we are no less glamorous!”
- “Baby, how about you make a public post about how much you love me so that other people stop asking me out?”
- “This is a very beautiful shot but I am not that humble to post it myself. Would you do me the honors and post the picture from your account, tagging me and writing cute stuff about your girlfriend?”
All these expressions will be crisp and sweet. You won’t have to be rude, complaining, or blunt about it. Learn to mince your words well. Your expressions should touch his heart. It should have the power to move him into action without dulling the moment. Love has a charming power, put it to use.
#4 You never post about him
Lead by action. If you never post about your boyfriend either, it should not come as a shocker when he too doesn’t post about you. Practice gender equality in the given scenario. When you are too eager about something, why not be the first one to do it and to move to action? Had this been a different scenario where something stirs your curiosity and makes you happy, would you have waited for the other person to make the first move? I am guessing that’s a no. how is this situation any different?
We tend to magnify the magnitude of relationships. Since it is always shown or exposed as something too meaningful and grand, we like to imply all its shown-off celebratory elements in our life. However, don’t you think that had it been so celebratory a cause for real, people wouldn’t have used the commonly noticed and sung-about hyperbole and extended metaphors in the art to describe their feelings?
Many people consider love a malady. They don’t enjoy it whole and sole. These people are peevish and pain-stricken. It is for you to decide if you want to be this person or someone who has a great sense of humor and the ability to take things forward light-heartedly. Who do you think will be the public choice in the given matter? Now imagine how are you similar or different, and what are how you can improve. Improvise them in your life, for when you become a better version of your previous self, your boyfriend will be pushed to do things in a better and more substantial way for you.
#5 He is taking his time
Let’s admit it – making a public post about your relationship is grand. While it occasions for a celebratory cause and there is nothing to fear those feelings but it is advisable to not do it unless you are very certain that that is what you want. Your boyfriend might be taking his time to understand how the relationship is moving forward. It might not be that he lacks confidence in you, but he just feels that he hasn’t reached that point in the relationship yet.
If it isn’t your yearly anniversary, you might want to wait before expressing this wish. In most cases, it stands as a proven fact that the charm and exciting buzz of the initial stage of the relationship fades away. If your boyfriend is a pessimist or a stoic, he might not be fueled with too many positive thoughts in this regard.
The situation gets worse if your boyfriend suffers from complexity. It could be racist, cultural, or anything in which he is different from you. How does your boyfriend pose in pictures with you? Does he kiss you when you take shots? Does he try to hide his face in your hair in the name of goofiness? Keep an eye on this. It will help you to understand where things might not be getting along well with your boyfriend or how his personal biases are limiting him. Either get him help or figure out ways in which you can be more supportive of him.
#6 He might be obsessing over his past
If your boyfriend is still obsessing over his past, it might put both of you in a difficult position as neither of you can give your best shot in the relationship. It is not a wholehearted commitment.
Morally, it is wrong to be in a new relationship when he is not over his ex yet. It would mean that he is using you to move forward in life. Such kind of support is uncalled for unless it was you who decided to be the messiah in his life and take him out of the dark pit.
However, if it wasn’t wilful volunteering, it must be talked out. Even if you thought you would be able to play this role wistfully but now you are mostly unhappy and depressed on the account of your boyfriend, it must be amended on an urgent basis. Take your words back by saying that you hadn’t thought it would cause such mental toil and pain to you on account of your voluntary choice towards moving into the relationship.
Put it in a way to make it clear that you sympathize with him and that you understand that he needs time to grieve first. It is unfair to skip the grieving period because when one is steadfast in love, you cannot steal that from their nature.
It should be acknowledged and tendered softly because that person can love greatly. However, at this point, he needs a friend more than a girlfriend to fix himself. To know more about related issues, click on the link below.
Related Read: My Boyfriend Looks at His Ex on Social Media (Reasons & Tips)
#7 He is into someone else
He's posting about other people, but not you. If your boyfriend is posting about other people in his life, but not you, it's a sign that he might be hiding something. Posting about others shows that he is not a shy fellow who likes to keep his life low-key.
It also makes it clear that the thought of posting about you has been deliberately dismissed. You must address this before your boyfriend and ask him the reason behind it. Make him confess if you have got the hints that a confession from his end might be due.
Tell him that you are a strong woman who can take it. You don’t like to do half-hearted dealings. If needed, talk about your past experiences to give him the prompt to open up and be candid with you. If he is not speaking about it because he thinks it might be an infatuation, and he will be able to get over it with time, tell him you understand.
Such things must be talked about openly. It is okay to admit that you saw someone attractive and for a moment you gasped at the sheer beauty. It doesn’t mean that you cheated on your partner. You can ask your partner to help you overcome this struggle. It will strengthen your relationship.
#8 He is more focused on his career
If you are dating a very industrious person, it might get difficult to secure his attention all the time. He is more focused on his career. He likes to maintain a distant attachment from you because he knows that his time management will collapse if he indulges himself a lot in the relationship.
To help you understand this better, think of it this way. Is posting a photo all about that? Is it limited just to making an appearance on social media? Don’t you think it will initiate a thread of conversations, dialogues, and comments by exciting his viewers?
This might become an added pressure for someone who lives the life of an influencer or a celebrity. They have a separate fan base. Hence, they would never post a photo with their date unless they are very certain that it won’t turn out to be a fling.
In your case, try to take some interest in your man’s field of work. Get an understanding of the dynamics that charge his work life. It will give you a better disposition and understanding of what goes about in his work life, and put you in a better stance to work your relationship goals better.
Frame your relationship goals such that it adds meaning to the equation, makes it substantial, and bring both of you closer to each other. Posting pictures in this regard to a great extent is superficial. It is best to be done when one is moved enough to do it. If you feel much love towards your partner, you can do it from your end.
#9 Your relationship isn’t official
If your relationship isn’t official, your man might consider it a big move to post pictures with you. It has to be done after a proper discussion about the implementation of this. He might think that you are skeptical regarding the whole deal if you never took the opportunity to express your innate desires before him.
Hence if you feel now the time is right, you must go about taking this step. You are his girlfriend, act righteously. It is okay to get demanding. If you want, you can give him a sa surprise by confirming if he wants to level up and posting about it first by yourself. While the guy posting first is stereotypical, the girl posting about her relationship status first is refreshing and empowering for both of them.
#10 He is waiting for the right occasion
Perhaps your guy wants to make this grand by posting about you. He is perhaps waiting for a first anniversary or your birthday or something occasional and worth celebrating. If any of these are close by, I would suggest you wait until then. If not, then you might want to confront him.
Check his social media to see if he has made such posts in the past. If yes, you can bring it to his notice and seek an explanation as to why he won’t post about you. If not, you can still draw it to his attention and ask him what keeps him from doing so.
#11 He feels awkward posing with you
If your boyfriend’s physique and yours don’t complement each other well, he might not feel very comfortable posing with you. However, it is all about eye adjustment. If you are equal to or taller than your boyfriend then perhaps you can avoid wearing silhouettes when he takes you out.
If one of you is lean while the other one is overweight, hit the gym together and post pictures, reels, and videos about your transformation journey. Give an orientation to the photos you click together and make it different from the luvvy-divvy picture of the teenagers.
If your boyfriend poses with other women or looks up at the pictures so much as stalks other women on social media, you should bring up this topic on an urgent basis.
What to do when he doesn’t post you on social media?
Give him time and bear with him in the meanwhile. That is the best thing that you can do at this moment. An unnecessary rift will not bring you anything. He will notice how patient you have been with him, and his appreciation will take beautiful gestures when the right time is due.
To know more, continue reading below.
#1 Give him time
The importance of being a patient partner in the romantic equation cannot be underestimated. The dynamic, human psychology and more are exposed when you are dating a person. You get so close to each other that you are talking about everything, expressing your opinions fearlessly, watching each other bare, and exposing your wounds that you must also take time to process everything that is happening.
While he takes his time, you must take yours, but it shouldn’t be to dismantle things with negative thoughts. It should be to work on bricks and plaster, plan meticulous steps to take things ahead, be objective and transparent in dealings, understand each other more, and know about the vulnerabilities, the triggers, the past experiences, and the plans.
It is as big a deal as you can make out of it and yet it is attainable and can flourish happiness in your life. So be thoughtful in your steps and while you give time, be passively active in contributing to the tidbits in your relationship.
#2 Be more communicative
With communication comes clarity. Hence, effective and efficient communication is required for all dealings. The matter of the heart is no different. The fact that you are getting restless, skeptical, and insecure because your boyfriend isn’t posting photos of you means that either you have not taken an opportunity to communicate to him your expectations as a girlfriend, or because your boyfriend has been too hesitant to open up about the challenges that he might be facing in dating you, and which might have been limiting his engagement.
The challenges as such could be either extrinsic or intrinsic. It depends on the situation and the atmosphere. For instance, you should know who your boyfriend looks up to. If he isn't much of his own man, in the sense, that he doesn’t depend on his judgment for the decision-making process, he would rather ask his friends or his colleagues or even his parents than trust his instinct or be sound in the scheme of things that is dictating his life, you should try and replace that person or explain
#3 Give him examples
If you want to take an indirect approach to the given situation, you can give your guy various examples of your friends and their boyfriends who actively or even occasionally post on social media.
This will trigger him into thinking what is the matter with you. He might even ask you the reason behind constantly referring to your friend's dating life. You should not stay quiet then. When granted the opportunity in hand, hold it, use it, and get the problem fixed.
Mind you, it isn't that he would stand naive here. The chances are high that he already understood where this is going. If he pushes you into confessing the problems, it is either because he already has a strong reason or a nice solution ready to fix the problem or because he holds the upper hand here.
The latter is only possible when you have also equally disappointed him in some regard. However, worry not. The whole idea is to get each other open up about the problems that you face and that has been bottled up to such an extent that an explosion is not far due.
#4 You take the first step
Why not take the initiative and fix this once and for all? Either tag him or do a collaborative post so that there is no room for any doubts. Your first step should be such that it helps your guy to be more socially expressive about you.
One way of doing this is by appreciating him with your words. The caption can be enriching. Rather than copying it from a different platform, or borrowing your words, you should write it straight from your heart in such a way that it leaves an impressive mark on the heart and soul of not only your boyfriend but all others involved in the process.
#5 Work on your life outside your boyfriend
If your life is boyfriend centric, it is time to change it. In the process of loving a person, practicing objective detachment is necessary. While your boyfriend might mean everything to you, you should not get obsessed with him.
When you get obsessed with your partner, you begin to overwhelm them with your presence. They might think little of you that way. You come across as a needy person.
On the other hand, when you maintain a balance between your partner's importance and involvement in your life, and that of other people such as your family, friends, and colleagues, your value in the eyes of your boyfriend increases.
Your boyfriend will think highly of you because others will post pictures with you. If he doesn't comment on your photos, dedicate songs to you, or write wonderful captions about you, someone else will.
When your boyfriend sees that, even if these people are just your friends, he will suffer from bouts of envy. As a result, he will get eager to share this equation with you himself, and in the process, he will come out as a better boyfriend than before.
#6 Work on sharing a range of experiences
If your relationship isn’t all about intimacy, but also works on the fulcrum of a delicate friendship, it will be easier for both of you to celebrate each other. The wholesomeness will help you to first share the experience socially together and then the more delightful element of that experience, that is, the person.
Hence, your objective should be to not make your life monotonous. Rather make it delightful by sharing wonderful experiences. It can be done when you are part of a larger group so that not every decision rests on your shoulders. You are free to move around, play, and have a great time together.
#7 Evaluate your relationship
If you feel that you need to slow down because you have already invested a great deal in your relationship with no desired results, perhaps take some time to evaluate it. See the highs and lows, compare the sacrifices that you have made or are making, and the compensation that you are getting.
If your devotion is much greater than the love you are receiving from your boyfriend’s end, perhaps you have crossed the stage where you should have loved unconditionally and selflessly to build something glorious, permanent, and beautiful.
This implies that it is either time to turn the table around or to neutralize things. The former can be done if your boyfriend realizes the mistake that he is making and hastes to mend the situation, and the latter if your boyfriend continues to play the ignoramus card. Eventually, if things pertain to remain out of hand, you must either seek help from a counselor or take a break.
Tips
- Learn to bare your heart without hesitation before your boyfriend. He must know the challenges that you are facing and the mental strain that he is causing in your life. Being the messiah here by being a woman with a big heart who endures everything silently will get you nothing.
- Start taking the lead in a situation where your boyfriend is either lacking or maintaining a laid-back attitude. It is as okay to make a public post from your account about your relationship and tag your boyfriend as it is to use your boyfriend’s account to post about both of you. People maintain complete transparency in the relationship to the extent that they even tell the account password to each other.
- If you don’t trust your boyfriend or doubt his motives, and yet you expect him to post about you, your equation is taking a different trajectory. Either trust him and bear patience by softly expressing your wishes to him, or call it off because it is exerting too much mental strain on your mind. Either way, unless you are at peace, there is no withdrawing you from the predicament here.