My Boyfriend Doesn’t Kiss Me Anymore (8+ Tips For You)
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Guys have a high physical urge compared to girls. While girls find cuddling and sweet small romantic gestures more appealing, for guys it is all about getting into beds. If your guy is misbehaving or taking excessive liberty, you will have to curb his behavior. This can be done in many ways but before that, you need to be sure that you got your reason right.
In this blog post, I will help you figure out why your boyfriend doesn’t kiss you anymore, and what you should do about it. Keep reading to know more.
Reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t kiss you anymore
Your boyfriend might not be as good a kisser, and he feels that bad kissing will defer his chance to move on to bed and make things hot between you.
To know more continue reading below.
#1 He doesn’t enjoy kissing
Some guys have an aversion to kissing. Your boyfriend might be one of them. He doesn’t kiss you because he doesn’t like to kiss. Some things have to be taken at face value. However, I am not asking you to accept it or to give up on it, not yet.
You can prove to him that kissing is a wonderful experience. It transports us to a whole new world that sings of passion and is warmer and cozier than a world without it. Lead him to bed in such a way that he is driven into wanting to kiss you.
Kissing his mouth or lips need not be your starting point when you know that he has an aversion to it. Instead, even in your wildest fantasies, acknowledge and honor the fact. Don’t take it as his weakness. He doesn’t enjoy kissing, but you do, right? So kiss him, but just not in the mouth.
Unless your boyfriend is not very ticklish, you can kiss him at the erogenous spots. It could be the nape of his neck, the ear, the belly point, and more. Discover it for yourself by paying closer attention to his reactions at the planting of every kiss.
Leave your warm breath on his skin. Don’t get into kissing at once. Make him want it. Use your tongue. Draw it over soft spots. Give him an experience that breaks and changes his notions. Make him feel on top of the world. He is bound to return the favors. He will do things to please you all the same if not at the beginning then eventually.
#2 You have bad mouth breath or maybe he has bad breath
If either of you carries bad breath, oral hygiene, and involvement will be a grave issue. The importance of oral hygiene cannot be compromised. The easiest way out of the problem is by curbing the odious breath instantly with the help of a mouth freshener. You can carry one.
The long-term way of dealing with it is by going for regular dental checkups, maintaining a strict dental routine, eating food and fruits, and being conscious of the need to rinse the mouth and stay hydrated from time to time.
Remember, there is nothing to be ashamed of all this nitty-gritty. It is what will make your relationship stronger. If you can discuss this openly and frankly with your partner then nothing better. You will have a natural candidness in between. It will keep you strong and going even when the worse of a situation comes.
#3 You don’t know how to kiss well
If you come across as an amateur kisser then it might be a serious issue in demotivating your boyfriend from engaging in kissing you. While it is an essential part of the foreplay, if you use your tongue more than you use the syncing movement of your lips, or if you bite while you kiss, the teething might hurt him a bit too much.
Learn to become a good and passionate kisser. You need not be wild and in haste every time. Instead, try all how one can be kissed. Instead of directly beginning with the French style, first, go about the entire activity by tapping your lips on his. It should be slow and comfortable taps meant solely to reduce the distance and fill in all the gaps between the two bodies.
Eventually, rather than leading it to lip-locking as most people do, you move downwards. Kiss his neck or his bare shoulders. By doing this, you are giving him optimal time to readjust himself to you. By the time he tries to grip you by the waist, move up again to kiss him more passionately.
This movement should be precise. The syncing of lips should be slow. The aura should be the one of melting into the other. It should bring happiness to both of you. The confidence will radiate in your face.
When you see that he has gained confidence and is letting himself get loose with you, stop there. Don’t give all your treasures at once, let him desire it. The craving will drive him crazy. He will be led into thinking of nothing else besides kissing your pouty lips. For all you know, the next time, he will come forward to kiss you. If he doesn’t, repeat the same process by increasing the intensity towards the end by 10 percent.
#4 He is not interested in you anymore
Your boyfriend might be neglecting you because he is not interested in you anymore. He is trying to cut you off from his life. This happens when you allow yourself to be used as a sidekick just for his pleasure.
If you have never been vocal about your wishes, you were always a giver, you overflow him with praises, it would enable him to think that you are too much in love with him to dump him. Moreover, it will make him overconfident and lead him into believing that he holds a charisma that has swept you off your feet.
While making your boyfriend feel that you are head over heels in love with him is a strong sign, it doesn’t mean that you will do it at the cost of your pleasure. Your boyfriend should equally invest himself in looking after and living with you if not greater. It is healthy, from time to time, to make your boyfriend feel special, however, you should not heighten the emotion to the extent that he feels that you have taken him for granted.
#5 He is stressed
Perhaps your boyfriend is stressed out. Although he might be managing to meet up with you, he is not in the right state of mind. There might be something that is not keeping him under his skin.
Some of the symptoms that show that a person is not feeling himself are:
- When they constantly get zoned out, it shows that there is something on their mind which is very disturbing
- When they are always checking their phone, it shows that they are anticipating a call or an event to happen
- When they are awkwardly quiet, it means that they are not in the mood to talk
- When they are unable to understand your words and request you to repeat them
- When they fumble while talking and you see it in their eyes that they might break down any moment
If your boyfriend is showing any of the above symptoms, it means that he is stressed out, and perhaps just wants to spend some time with you. He might consider your presence to be therapeutic.
Perhaps you should lend him your shoulders. Try and talk to him. Let him see and feel you. Look him in the eyes and ask him about the challenge that he might be facing. Don’t push too hard. Let him open up naturally to you. Give him time, and be with him in silence. Sometimes that is the best thing that you can do.
#6 You never initiate or make him feel wanted
If it is always your boyfriend who is taking the first step towards you but you never make him feel wanted, or take initiative, he might feel that he is being pushy and question your equation with him. The importance of making your partner feel wanted, to assure that you are attracted to them and would never want to replace them cannot be underestimated.
People who hold the opinion that constant validation is not needed to build a healthy relationship could not be more wrong. The idea is not merely to validate but to open an inexhaustible mine where the passion for your better half is endless. You show that you love your boyfriend with all your heart. It should come across as a wholehearted gesture from your end.
You will find that people who actively work on such equations, constantly giving each other feedback, have their backs, and are known as the support system, when you can dial up your boyfriend at the break of the day or in the middle of the night and you know that he will listen to you, that is what strengthens the relationship. Kiss is the token of this love, the protection, saying that yes, you are there for him and he is there for you. You both are one world in two souls, and that is enough.
#7 You are taking things too slow
If you both have been dating for a while but you are moving things so slowly that it seems that you aren’t moving them at all, your boyfriend might find himself to be stagnant with you. In such a case, it is effective to take the lead and proceed with everything at a faster pace.
You can plan a staycation with your boyfriend to give him direct hints about your intentions. If you want to put it forward as a romantic gesture then plan a date in a heart-swooning location, dress up perfectly for him to show yourself as irresistible, and have your way with him.
The best way to do this is by recreating the memory of the place you had either gone on your first date or to the place where you had kissed for the first time. It will be crystal clear what you are trying to do there. He will appreciate the gesture, lean forward, and kiss you unless the botheration is more of a deal breaker than a deal maker.
#8 He is moody
If you have a moody boyfriend who likes to play around with you the way he likes, without caring about your needs and wishes, you are with the wrong person. You deserve delicate treatment. You will see that in most relationships, the guy and the girl make each other feel like a king and a queen. There is no halfway to it. Set your goals and the benchmark behavior in a relationship right.
If someone is playing the moody card with you, it means that they don’t respect you enough. However, you cannot assume things. You will have to make your boyfriend spell it out for you. Let him use the word and that is when you lash on him. Tell him how he has disappointed you to an unimaginable level when you have always tried to make him feel like he means the world to you.
Some nuances of a relationship are general. It gets as romantic as it can. You don’t mind walking the extra mile because you are doing it for the person you feel you owe everything to. They become the reason behind your smile. You want to associate all the happy qualities with them. But then if there is no half-hearted reciprocation to it, while you might keep going bravely from your end, a day will arrive when you will realize that you cannot continue it any longer. Tell your boyfriend to help you not reach a stage from where there shall be no return.
#9 He gets flashbacks
Perhaps every time your boyfriend tries to engage himself with you, he gets flashbacks and is haunted by memories. If he hasn’t opened up about his ex with you, perhaps it is time that you push him to. There is no need to keep secrets about a mysterious past. It only makes things more complicated to resolve.
Hence, always encourage in a relationship to have clarity, more so about your past. There should be a level of maturity and understanding between both of you. This should not be tarnished by past events or incidents. An insecure partner will not do either of you any good.
It is the best policy that you keep things transparent and unapologetically real between both of you. When you set the benchmark from the very beginning of the relationship, it will keep the goals clear. This will lessen the chances of having such immersive and pathetic moments where you might feel that after spending so much time with them, their past has the power to estrange you so easily. It should be a both-way thing where neither of you should compromise nor expect the other to make a sacrifice on the note of all that went by in your life before you committed to this relationship.
#10 He is trying to break up
If your boyfriend has been acting strange concerning all your undertakings and wishes, he might be having a purpose behind it. While you might think that he is trying to break your heart, he might be trying hard to avoid breaking it. Remember, an alteration of the heart is easily manipulated in this era. People don’t understand loyalty, and even if they do, they fail to stay faithful, invested, and committed to one person very easily.
Settling with someone is a big question that people like to take their time to consider. Your boyfriend might have become skeptical about the relationship. You might not even be at fault here. Some guys are so terrified of commitment that when they see that the girl is getting head-over-heels in love with them, they are so scared by the intensity and larger-than-life proposal of it that they want to skip past everything. While other guys only find it beyond themselves to stick to one girl for a long time.
If you get into this debate about which might be your guy’s reason, unless he states it to you courageously, you are draining your energy and missing out on all the opportunities that you could have used and directed better. Sometimes in life, what is gone is gone, what remains is what you should focus on. As the saying goes, when life throws a lemon at you, don’t get pissed off, instead make yourself a lemonade. If your situation wants you to begin from scratch, do it. Don’t fear effort, and don’t settle for anything less than what you think you deserve.
#11 You wear too many cosmetics
If you wear too many cosmetics and change your natural tone and appearance so much so that your boyfriend either is unable to keep up with your appearance or finds the essence repulsive. This might happen when your touch-up is too loud, or if you are doing it under the influence of someone.
Your boyfriend might not appreciate it. He might feel that you are becoming the victim of peer pressure. While in your eyes you might be taking new flights as a free bird, in his eyes, you are degenerating into a puppet in the hands of an artificial world.
You might have to excuse your guy if he holds such a notion. Understand that most guys fail to understand how liberating and empowering women feel after putting on makeup. They are not able to associate with these qualities or feel the way a woman does. It doesn’t have to mean that you give up on makeup for that will be unfair. However, if you want, you can switch to a more natural appearance when you go out with your boyfriend.
#12 He feels that you are cheating on him
If your heart skipped a beat when you read this, calm down. A full-proof trusted engagement with our partners is too naive in the current romantic world. There is always the tendency to question the equation, the form, the magnitude, and its reasons. A tinge of insecurity on losing our partners, a strong sense of possessiveness of our partner, their time, and everything about them is always there.
In such cases, if you are not able to show as much and spend quality time with your boyfriend as you used to do, or if your phone is mostly busy or unreachable, or you are always hanging out with your guy friends and colleagues, your boyfriend might take this to his heart. He will not appreciate any of this because he wants gentle treatment.
Anyone will want their lover to get excited about wanting to meet them, see them, and make out with them. If either of you is not vibing the same way, it is an alarming concern. You should immediately consult a practiced counselor for help. It will enable you to pinpoint the exact nodes of the problem, and both of you together will be able to emerge out of the trouble as the power couple. The idea is not to prevent or run away from the problem but to have the courage to face it rather than run away from reality.
What to do when your boyfriend doesn’t kiss you anymore?
Take the lead when your boyfriend is shutting himself down in terms of coming forward to kiss your succulent lips while making sure that your lips are healthy and attractive. When you want someone to kiss you, the aura that radiates from you should be such that the person finds himself helpless, and willingly submits to your control.
To know more, continue reading below.
#1 Communicate openly and honestly
You should encourage open and honest interactions between your boyfriend and yourself in such a way that if there is a reason why he doesn’t like kissing you anymore, he will be able to express it without thinking twice or feeling that you might feel bad about it.
Hurting the sentiments should not come in the way of honesty. If you don’t give that much space to each other, if you are scared of being vulnerable before one another, you are not doing justice to your companion. Nobody is perfect, remember?
It is about how you synchronize with the other person’s imperfections that matters. It doesn’t mean that you will not engage in kissing sessions with your boyfriend, that is unacceptable. The primary need of a relationship is put forward through the tokens of kissing. It means that you won’t judge your boyfriend for the possible challenge that he might be facing and instead help him sort it out by making him more comfortable and confident with you.
#2 You take the first step
If your boyfriend has started holding himself back or pulling himself from kissing you because you don’t engage or indulge him in doing it, you haven’t given him strong enough reasons to want to be with you, there is always the need for a chase, a necessity to push himself on you whenever he wants to have romance, it is strongly unfair to him.
The equation from the beginning should be natural. You shouldn’t waste time thinking about who will kiss first. If you are doing it, that means that you haven’t reached that zone where kissing your boyfriend is the only thing under the sky that matters. The enthusiasm should skyrocket to a different level so that all you can think about is kissing and making love.
You might wonder what the hiccups are, or question the mentality of a person who needs to have such a strong proof plan before kissing their partner. It shows that perhaps either of you isn’t confident that you are bringing a lot to the table, and that your partner is fortunate to have you. If you put yourself in that deep a pit, everything else will become pointless.
#3 Keep mouth freshener at your disposal (if he has bad breath as well)
A handy mouth freshener will help you maintain oral hygiene when either of you wants to engage in an outworldly experience of kissing and making love to each other. Make a pouch to carry a few things whenever you meet your boyfriend. It should eliminate any objections and make life easy for you.
Things that can be put in such a pouch are mouth freshener that either of you can use to prevent or curb bad breath and other precautions to ensure safety in terms of lovemaking if you decide and get the opportunity to engage in it, lubricant if the experience gets way too rough to handle, and anything else that you can think of including sanitizers, wipes, et cetera. Perhaps discuss it with your boyfriend before preparing the list. If there are things that he feels he might need or that will make it more convenient for both of you, go for it.
It shows that you care for each other’s consent, mood, behavior, wants, and comfort. It is a healthy sign of a happy relationship which most couples fail to understand. It also keeps reality in check. You don’t over-fantasize things because you know right from wrong, or the real from the dreamy. Carrying away with the flow will not be your thing.
#4 Don’t be an easy meat
If your boyfriend is making out with you without kissing you, there can’t be a greater crime. Don’t allow him to do that if he is not pleasing you first. Giving access or the easy pass merely because he is your boyfriend is not done.
When you do not sleep with him, he will automatically ask you about it. That is when you tell him the challenge that you are facing. Confronting him when he confronts you will be the easy play. However, he will ask you if you felt this way and why didn’t you tell him about it.
Play smarter and wiser at that time. Express your resentment but don’t be rude. Tell him that you were taking your time to understand what was going in between both of you and why. You were trying to trace back the events that might have led to such a situation. You can use this opportunity to make each other promise to not let the situation be driven to such circumstances again. Whatever might be between both of you, dare to discuss it openly if you want the relationship to work. If you are so shy to open up about issues, the relationship won’t thrive.
#5 Consider other forms of physical affection
If your boyfriend is not at once comfortable with kissing, try other ways to show physical affection. This could be cuddling, kissing hands instead of faces, exploring the body through other means, and more. Discuss it with your boyfriend. You can read and watch pleasure-giving stuff together.
Clear with him if he is looking for a platonic relationship. While considering an account of his comfort, don’t sacrifice yours. Find a way to come to a level where you both share the same equation. If you fail to satisfy each other’s needs, you will have to reconsider the status of your relationship.
#6 Flirt with other men before him
If you feel that making your boyfriend jealous might help in pushing him towards you, do so. Flirt with his friends, your guy friends, your colleagues, his colleagues even if that makes you come across as a desperate person. The moment he confronts you into asking what is the matter with you, retaliate by throwing back the question at him and asking what is the matter with him.
Though it might take the form of a heated conversation, it is necessary and should not be avoided. The pent-up anger might help in creating space for a wild makeout session that will help both of you. Keep a handful of tactics ready to take your guy when he behaves.
Another possible reason might be that he wants you to be more assertive with him. Rather than playing games, start dominating him in the room. Show him the treatment that you deserve. Make him do it, and you might be surprised to see that he will generously obey.
#7Try counseling
If you feel that your relationship needs counseling, go for it. It will enable you to trace the cracks and gaps in your relationship. It is not something scary. It doesn’t mean that you are failing. It shows the conviction that you want to make this work.
You are willing to invest your time and put in your efforts to get to a stage where things will be under better control and moments will be more favorable to you. Certain mentions of past events, and showing up of people from the past might create some unpleasant moments.
You should focus on building a relationship that is free of grudges from the past or anything external and beyond your control. Your equation should be such that you can strengthen your equation by focusing on the internal and making it better on the go. Even the idea that you both want the same thing as the ultimate goal will help you to keep the curve moving upwards.
#8 Consider your own needs and happiness
Being in a relationship does not mean that you will neglect yourself. Keeping yourself as the priority, and giving love, time, and respect to your time and effort is important. When self-love and acknowledgment are high, nobody will be able to mess with you easily.
However, a word of caution. Most times, you will see that in the process of loving the other, we tend to underestimate ourselves and our worth. We get so carried away with the flow that we think of them as our heart and soul. While this is a great feeling, sometimes it might fire back at us in unfit ways.
To keep your involvement and indulgence in check, it is a healthy practice to fix a day off every week where you make a chart by dividing it into two columns and stating how you made your boyfriend feel special and how he did the same. It will help you to trace your journey on graph paper.
#9 Maintain healthy lips
If your boyfriend has cosmetic aversion but you are fond of makeup, practice lip massage and high-end lip products such as lip serum, scrub, and UV protection to maintain healthy and pouty lips.
It should be maintained in such a way that he can't help kissing you the moment he sees them. The act of kissing should shamelessly take place. You should be proud of your lips as must be your boyfriend. He just considers himself a lucky lad as he is getting to kiss them.
Tips
- You must date a guy who is worthy enough to be kissed by you and finds your lips addictive. Anyone else is a wrong choice. Kissing is the most basic of showing love, and if your boyfriend is shying away from doing it or lacks the desire to adore and sing about it, you are with the wrong guy.
- Timely health checkups cannot be undermined. For all you know, your boyfriend might be sick and is scared of communicating the disease to you. Hence, staying aware and disclosing each other about everything that takes place in the medical domain is a great way to build trust and support systems.
- While we hope that your boyfriend isn't kissing your lips or might be neglecting you due to the work pressure, make sure that the negligence is not caused by a shift in affection and favors to another. Catch his best friend for more information. Even if he is guilty, he should have confided it to his friend.