Why Does He Put His Hand Around My Neck? (9 Reasons)

How we are held by a person tells a lot about how they feel with and around us. It also gives an idea about the impression we have been giving them. 

When a guy puts his hand around your neck, it has to be a deliberate move. In this blog post, I'll help you to figure out what pushes a guy to do such a thing, and what should be your next step. 

Keep reading below to know more. 

Reasons why a guy put his hand around your neck 

Perhaps to caress you if you have been helping him with an assignment by walking the extra mile or staying up late for his sake. 

While this is a possible reason it might not fit your context, the ones listed below can hold more significance to you. Scroll down to know more. 

#1 To see your reaction 

Different body parts cause different stimulation and a plethora of feelings. Perhaps the guy wants to see what effects his touch has upon you. You will notice this as a common move when a guy tries to induce a girl into getting intimate. 

If you find the touch comforting, and your reaction shows that you are enjoying it, if you lean back and give an impression that you are interested, he will wave his green flag to move down further. 

If, on the contrary, you feel alarmed, and want to take careful trodden steps, you don’t give him any reason to feel that you find his touch friendly but rather you get fidgety and shaken, your voice gets louder rather than thinner, he would know that you are not consenting to whatever it is that he is upto.

Such moves are made by guys who fall into the gray area of your life. A guy who finds himself uncomfortable in being kept limited to the status of a friend, while is not ready or looking to be in a devout relationship either, would do such a thing. 

You will realize that he is hinting at a friends-with-benefit equation, and in his eyes, he thinks of himself as a casanova, who would delight you, and in return, would expect you to be in awe with him and amuse him. 

#2 Trying to control you

If you have been seeing this guy, he might be having a strong hold over you. Some guys enjoy doing that. You will find the symptoms that will flag the signs that the guy is a dominating partner who wants to get his way through you by treating you as a vessel for pleasure rather than as a human with feelings who is in equal need of satisfaction.

The common and early symptoms that will help you understand that you are with a dominating partner are given below:

• He is aggressive in bed. Sometimes he might get rough and forget to check on you.  He gets too carried away by making out. There is an obsession with a particular part of your body that he won’t let go. You might think that the guy is trying to please you, but it will come as a shock to you later that he was merely trying to please himself as that part of the female body is what turns him on.

• He likes to experiment in bed. He likes to go the extra length to make the bedroom experience enhancing, and he doesn’t like to limit things to the bedroom but makes a proper utilization of the space occupied. He will use different tricks to dominate you. The easiest ones are blindfolding you, and using things to control your movements. 

• The guy will urge you to address him by a particular title. It could be master, sir, or he would address something inappropriate. The derogatory or abusive nomenclature enhances the experience for him as it boosts his masculinity and makes him think that he has full rights and dominance over you. He would like to treat you as his property.

• Such guys are also pleased when you try to secure their attention by flirting or making seductive moves. He will push you for role plays. He will buy you clothes as useful attires for a particular setup. He won’t be the type who enjoys calling you with the common ways in which a boyfriend and a girlfriend talk to each other. He will make that line distinctly clear, and while he won’t give you the entitlement of a girlfriend, he will act possessive with you, and might not like it if you go on dates other than with him. 

#3 Trying to build a comfortable zone 

If the guy has been careful not to turn you off or give you negative vibes, and if you find his touch pleasing, the guy might have put his hand around your neck to look for an erogenous zone that makes the experience enthralling for you. 

You can help him with this by guiding his hand toward the areas that are not that explicit and are your turning-on tool. You should also take an interest in places or spots that turn the guy on. When you both look at and care for each other, the equation becomes more communicative. 

Remember how Chandler and Monica kept their relationship a secret for a long time? They first became comfortable with each other, learning about each other’s bodies and their syncing together. When they started enjoying the sessions and gained confidence that this was it that they had been wanting all their life, they made it official. Their friends discovering it in the process or beforehand is a different thing altogether. People around you will always get the vibe. They will feel it because you two will be sharing a different energy between you. Your body will learn to talk, and you will like it even if you find it strange or new at first.

#4 Just fooling around

If the guy is hurting you with his touch or does not care to check on your feelings when you are hurt, it shows that he has no intention of treating you gently. While he might have never given you a barbarian vibe, in bed he might be an animal. 

Our lusts get the better of us. We might not share the same behavior patterns inside a bedroom that we have shared with the outside world. This might hold as true for you as it holds with the guy.

Initiating a conversation in the direction of asking how he feels about you, what are his likes and dislikes, pushing him to talk, and building an engaging dialogue with him will create the platform where you will be able to share your feelings too. 

If both of you intend to fool around mutually rather than getting burdened down by the relationship status, be it so? It is your call to make. If you feel that you want to be treated like a princess, in the right scheme of things then withdraw yourself from this toxicity.

#5 To kiss you unexpectedly 

Perhaps the guy is trying to take you by surprise. While you get engrossed by his touch and try to understand what his body movements are directing at, he might choose to pave a path for his lips to touch your skin and plant gentle kisses on your neckline.

Studies have found that neck kisses are the earliest sign of strong attraction. While lip-locking creates romantic stimulation between couples, some guys find it more convenient, to begin with, neck kisses. 

That way, he might not wait for you to kiss him back to continue the foreplay. He will take a good amount wooing you, till the moment you feel comfortable enough with him. 

In the process, you will find your body getting comfortable and loose. That is when he will trace himself up again, look you in the eyes to give you surety and kiss your lips. Remember, not all relationships begin with preplanned motives. The best ones are the result of spontaneous wild decisions that have taken firm and supreme control over you.

#6 He is seeking comfort

A guy who is feeling stressed or anxious may put his hand around your neck as a way of seeking comfort. It is his way of exposing himself before you. It means that he is ready to be vulnerable before you. 

Perhaps you should turn in his direction to hug him. Sometimes, even a cozy hug can make one’s day. You might not know all that the guy might be going through. In the process, both of you might reveal each other’s feelings. The subject might not be directed toward you, but your experiences might be similar.

Having to know that what you have gone through is not borne by you alone can be a rewarding feeling. It assures you that you have better places to be, you can still make the upward journey without hassle, and you have hands to hold and shoulders to lean on. For many people, that is all the reasons they need to live. You might become their elixir of life.

#7 He is mad at you

Kind of a weird way to show his disapproval regarding something but people and their manners can be weird. He is showing his discontentment by not touching or holding you by the waist or shoulders. 

A deliberate awkward gesture is granted here. Such people are attention seekers. They won't confront you with the challenges that they might be facing but instead, try to find a roundabout way regarding it. 

If such is your situation, you are dealing with an immature buffoon who will need his share of experience before he learns to deal with situations and circumstances upfront. Try not to encourage this behavior. Take it as a red flag and withdraw yourself from any possibility of an awkward situation.

#8 Trying to pose for selfies

There is a possibility that the guy in question doesn't realize that you might be gender-conscious and he should not be putting his hand close to your chest, around your neck like that in any granted situation, more so when you are trying to pose for selfies.

A simple shaking him to remind him that you don't like to be touched or held like that will do the fixing. All that is needed is a proper conveying of discomforts to the one who is causing them. Rather than getting offended, they will appreciate that you didn't get haywire about the whole situation. 

Perhaps as a precautionary move, don’t lean too close to him. Maintain a safe distance. It can speak louder than words. He will understand that you are not too fond of him, and don’t appreciate all the touching that happens in between.

#9 He is trying to show off before others 

If you have been friendly with the guy, and this is the first time that a girl has voluntarily tried to talk to him, he might be head over heels at the moment. For all you know, in such cases, the guy is more excited than he is happy. 

He wants to make a public display of it, especially before those guys who always teased him that he would never have a girl by his side. Hence, the awkward gesture or pose. Look around you or into his phone to see who is he showing off to. 

There is also the possibility that he is trying to make his ex jealous. Know what you are trading for. Don’t jump into situations without a shilling of hint about the guy’s agenda. Wait to see if you get the right vibes but never hold on for too long. If you keep on waiting and being hopeful, you are deluded to call yourself an optimist. 

What to do when a guy puts his hand around your neck 

The same thing that you do when someone dips your finger into hot water. If you don’t like it, you give a spontaneous reaction. It could be by shouting, removing his hand, or any other natural gesture.

However, if this guy is important to you, and you are looking for better ways to deal with the situation, read below.

#1 Tell him how you feel about it 

Being open about your feelings is the right way to do things. If something is making you uncomfortable or unhappy, state it. If you like it, appreciate it likewise. Ask yourself what was the first thought that came to your mind when the guy took the liberty to hold you like that.

If you develop an instant dislike, you might not want to go ahead with the expression part unless the guy is trying hard to gain your favor. If you are confused, you should take your time to seek clarity. However, if you like it, tell him so. Motivate him to get more candid and open with you.

#2 Guide his hand to the right spot

If you have been looking forward to spending time with the guy, and you finally got it, don’t be shy to make him comfortable or to get comfortable around him. The thumb rule is simple here. If you like him, guide his hand to your hips. If you don't like him, remove his hand from your body. 

There is no thinking twice here, you go with the flow with the people you want in your life, and you don’t humor or entertain people, you can’t take the sight of. Moreover, you select your people. Be picky about it. Set your standards from the very beginning when you go about socializing with others. 

#3 Hold him closer 

If you feel he is trying to get affectionate, hold him by the waist. It will make him grin, and he might even turn around and hug you. Understand the body's sensations. There is always body tension at play when there is a pull or attraction towards someone. 

If he breaks the contract when you try to wrap him closer, the whole thing is an accident, and he is not fond of you. However, everything will be clear at once so it is a bet worth taking. But if you have your doubts and are skeptical about it, it is better to hold on to these options and try one of the other cues.

#4 Ask him about it

A simple "What are you intending to do?" will make things clear. Why go about interpreting things when you know that only the doer will be able to fix the situation for you unless the doer has diabolical intentions? 

Besides, if you don’t feel comfortable asking the guy about it that means that you either share a hierarchical situation with him in which he is trying to take the benefit, or you are in the wrong place with the wrong person and you regret it already. It is okay to make a narrow escape. Call your family or friends to update them on your situation, share your location, and go back home. 

#5 Lean forward 

If you both are inebriated, and you intend to get naughty by the hour, lean forward and make room for the guy to woo you and please you bit by bit. You can also make the first move.  It is your choice. 

Such things happen in no-strings-attached relationships, which are better called “situationships”. If you are heading towards one, or you have always wanted one, this is your opportunity. You don’t exchange details, or get too particular about things. It is merely a brief exchange of desires, getting satisfaction, and moving on. 

#6 Breakaway 

If you hate his touch or are dumbfounded by the audacity of the guy, it is okay to break away from him. You don’t have to think twice before doing this if you are in a public space. There are people around so you will be able to safely make the return home. 

If you are alone with the guy in a room, make some silly excuse to bring things from downstairs or to use the restroom, and escape. Call a friend or someone who will be able to hear everything that is happening in between. Next time, if you feel that you tend to put yourself at such risks or trust strangers blindly, keep at least two people informed from before and share your locations with them.

#8 Seek help if necessary 

If the behavior is severe or persistent, consider reporting the incident to the appropriate authorities. When a step is needed to be taken, take it. An FIR in case you feel threatened will help to maintain a record against this person.

Moreover, you would know if such a something has happened before. An investigation will bring before all his previous records, and things will get clear at once. If you were wrong, the guy should understand that you prioritize your safety. He can use some social classes to know how to behave well. 

Tips 

• Always analyze your individual feelings first before giving the upper hand to another or getting swayed by someone’s touch and feel. You are mature enough to understand the vibe. Any person who gives you mixed feelings is trying to mess with your mind. It shows that the person doesn’t value you enough to make you feel secure.

• When we are staying with someone, we should stay for sound reasons. It should align with the socially accepted norms at some level. If it is an extreme equation, you will find yourselves to be the outcast. While the initial stages might be fun, down the line, you will start disliking the vibe strongly. You need to have more reasons than mere infatuation, attraction, or the pride of dating the hottest guy in school to keep you going.

• Learn to be supportive and empathetic as an individual for you have not heard all the unsung tales of despair and devastation. When the touch is kind and harmless, so is the intention. Many people are not very good at giving a concrete output to their feelings, but you would know if they mean you harm. When they don’t, be kind by smiling at them. It can keep them going one day at a time.