Dumper Wished Me Happy Birthday (11 Reasons Why)

The hardest part of the relationship is breakup but getting dumped still tops the list. It happens at the cost of your confidence and willingness when you get dumped. It means that the dumper wasn’t as attached to you as you were to them. However, if you have been dumped and your dumper is trying to reach out to you, this blog post is for you. 

In this article, I will discuss why a dumper might send you wishes on occasions such as your birthday, and how should you manage it. 

Reasons why dumper wished you a happy birthday 

They enjoy playing games with you and troubling your conscience. Moreover, if you are dating someone, this move is to push you into talking to your partner about them. It is best to ignore their move if you have already moved on in your life. 

To know more, continue reading below. 

#1 They want you to know that they remembered 

If your dumper is an attention-seeker who likes to make other people think very highly of themselves, they might wish you on your birthday. They will say that this would justify to you that their feelings were genuine and they weren’t playing you around but the situations and circumstances were such that they were out of choice and were led into dumping you. 

If you get that air of importance in their voice when they wish you, thank your stars that they are no more a part of your life. If you are in the transition period, that is, it hasn’t been a long time since your breakup and you are still moving on, don’t let your ex pull you back into the harrows. 

When they call or message to wish you, they will ask you about your day. They will want to know what did you and perhaps might even try to remind you about the last year’s birthday. At that moment, tell them that you are glad that this year’s birthday isn’t like last year's. It would be a slap on their face and might come across as a bit harsh, but it is okay.

#2 They want to see your reaction 

It can be mere curiosity that is aching them. They want to see whether you would acknowledge their greeting or ignore it. They will try to deduce your reaction to please themselves, as such, they might be egomaniacs. Hence, don’t get too excited about it. 

You might think to yourself what might be a valid reaction to a dumper when they wish you on your birthday. The answer is simple. Nothing is exciting or outwardly about it. If they remember your birthday, they should also remember the way they treated you. That should have made them understand that their wish won’t be valued. 

Hence, be indifferent. Reply to them the same way in which one replies to a Facebook post: a mere formal gesture without any emoticon. Just reply with a thank you if you want to keep it neutral. If you want them to know that you don’t acknowledge this, leave their message on seen.

#3 They are troublesome 

They merely like to trouble you. The moment that they see that you have moved on in your life, they will start getting fidgety. It is better to block them so that they don’t get your life updates. It is equivalent to controlling you or wanting to control you even when they are not part of your life. 

The signs of a troublemaker are as follows. Go through it so that you can know for sure if your dumper is a sadist and take your next step accordingly. 

• They enjoy seeing you in pain. For instance, when you write them big messages and break them down in the process of explaining to them the damage they have created, they will not rush to stop you at once. They relish the sight. You will see a slight smirk on their face as if they are enjoying it. 

• They lack empathy and have a personality disorder owing to which they don’t have many friends. They might have admirers for their genius but not well-wishers. They are popularly recognized as control freaks.

• Even when trying to console you, they will use a tinge of biting sarcasm to drive to their point. They like hurting you. As such, they will try to remind you of all the harsh times and derogatory words that they might have used for you.

All these were always the red flags and a person cannot change themselves radically. Hence, even if they are trying to sell you a new personality, don’t buy it. To know more, click on the link below.

Related Read: Why Does My Ex Want to Hurt Me So Much? (9 Possible Reasons)

#4 They miss you 

Let’s not forget the fact that even a dumper might get emotionally invested in you. Perhaps after dumping you, they realized that it was a mistake but didn’t dare to face you outright. Hence, they keep looking for such moments as they miss you. Remember, it is only momentary and done with the malignant intent to make you briefly happy at the cost of thinking that you had taken them all wrong.

If you get into texting them and there are further exchanges, don’t be too taken aback when they tell you that they miss you. It is not a good sign. They are trying to pull you back. After all the efforts that you have put into forgetting them, you should not allow them to pull you back. Even if there is a chase and you can sense a game, make it difficult for them to achieve it.

#5 It was sent from AI 

Well, the internet is doing all sorts of things. It might be that they have activated an automatic text generator on the app to send birthday wishes to their friends. Hence, don’t get excited unless the wish is followed by something more, such as, “Hey! How was your day” or something that has a more personal touch, such as, “I remember this day last year when we celebrated your birthday together.” If their message has taken the latter tone, tell them that you are grateful not to have wasted another year by celebrating with them. 

If the message is curt or carries only two words, it has no weight. You don’t have to regard it too highly. Hence, even a reply is not needed here. Unless the wish is over-call or through a postcard sent to your home, there is no reason for you to put any solid weightage to this.

#6 They want to stay in your good books 

It will be to their advantage if you are an influential person. A dumper is a sly person. They would always want to be in the dumped’s good books. They would show themselves to be helpless by portraying in a fashion that they had no other choice but to dump you. It is hysterical how they show as if they have been the victim of the circumstances rather than you to be one. 

You will realize that they triumph by reading the nerves of the people and using their tongue with words that render them an upper hand. Dumpers as such are like vagabonds or parasites who obtain favors easily from others without offering them anything else in return. You are compelled by their charismatic personality into thinking that they are great and that it is a good thing that you are at least on each other’s friend list.

#7 They like to secure attention 

What’s better than making your dumped person remember you on their big day? They are mere attention seekers. Don’t fall for the trap. Deal with legitimate things. Their wish has the possibility of carrying a tremendous amount of ill intent. Hence, staying skeptical won’t bring you to ruin, but getting extra generous might create problems. Choose the way you want to vibe or not vibe before you share your message.

#8 It is a polite gesture of friendship 

To means that they wish you well, your dumper might wish you. They don’t want to lose your favor or be in your bad books. They are too much of a people pleaser to do that. If breaking up with you wasn’t an easy decision for them and they did everything they could yet get the reputation of a dumper because they couldn’t look you in the eyes, they might still want to be your friends. However, a polite gesture of friendship should be accompanied by some offering such as a card or a cake to show that they mean to secure it. If they don’t, there is no reason to give this a vital thought.

#9 They want to give you a disclosure 

If the situation was such back then that your dumper couldn’t explain his side of things to you, perhaps they thought it to be an excellent opportunity to talk it out. However, what you need to tell them is that now you don’t care. They should let you go and be because no matter how justified was their decision, it won’t change the way you perceive them and to be more honest, it doesn’t even matter. They will always have this stained image of a dumper in your eyes.

#10 They want to keep it even 

Perhaps you had wished them on their birthday so they are returning the favor by wishing you back. Sometimes, it is as simple as that. Don’t overthink the situation or allow it to have a strong hold on you. It is uncalled for. Instead, have your time, enjoy your day, be mean, and let yourself on the loose to be chased by eligible singles. You deserve much better treatment so accept nothing less. Make cronies and heroes alike work hard to gain your favor. 

#11 They want to meet you 

Perhaps the dumper desperately wants to arrange a meeting between both of you. Their message is a final plea to allow them to see you. If they have been trying it for a while but you didn’t take them seriously, they might try it for one last time to show you that they have been honest in their attempt. If you are prevalent in your area and you made it public knowledge for people to know how the dumper mistreated you, they might not be easily able to secure any more sexual favors. To know more, click on the link below.

Related Read: Dumper Wants to Meet (Reasons + What to Do)

What to do when dumper wishes you a happy birthday?

You can ignore their message unless they make the wish with some force and gesture to prove that they mean it. Such gestures would be more than merely wishing you. It would be trying to pamper you or sweeten your mouth, you might reply with a thank you. 

To know more, keep reading below. 

#1 Give a polite reply 

A polite reply will not do any damage to either of you. If you think that the dumper is merely being courteous with you, keep him at par by reciprocating in the same formal accent. Keep your stress mandatory, and your reply curt. Simple phrase replies such as “thank you” will suffice here. 

When you get a follow-up text, reply late and with monosyllabic words. Don’t ask them any follow-up questions, and the trail will die there without worrying you much unless the dumper is persistent in his attempts, in which case, you will have to follow one of the other steps listed below.

#2 Ignore 

It is not a big deal to leave your dumper at read. A reply is not expected of you. While not replying would be natural, replying with enthusiasm will be jaw-dropping. You don’t want to shock the dumper and make them feel that the ball is still in their court unless you want to play dirty by ditching them after fixing a voluntary meeting in the name of a birthday treat. Even if you are getting ideas, I would suggest against it. You don’t want to indulge in futile endeavors. 

Just in case, you still possess lingering feelings towards your damper, it is time that you get over it and bid them goodbye for eternity. People who mistreat you don’t deserve forgiveness even if they touch the hollow surface with their apologies.

#3 Cross question 

Cross-examination isn’t as bad as it sounds. It just shows that you loathe them. This usually happens when you have sunken for so long in denial that all the good feelings and niceties about the probability of a sundry friendship have gone wary and turned shallow in your assumed defeat. 

However, hatred doesn’t make you bold, forgiveness does. If your dumper isn’t asking for forgiveness, don’t care for it. Forgive yourself for making the wrong decision. Think of it in the light of what would have happened had you allowed them to mistreat you later. You escaped an unfortunate state of affairs. Be grateful for it.

#4 State your feelings 

Stating your feelings to your dumper might make them think of you as a weakling. A vulnerable person with low self-esteem would expose the wounds inflicted by the predator. A wise one would make notes and take their lesson from it. 

However, it also depends on how you state your feelings. If you feel it is worth it, and if you are very modest and honest as a person, show them the transition that you have made possible after they had so unreasonably decided to abandon you. Ask them to respect your efforts and let you be. There is no good that their wishes will bring in your life. 

A better alternative to this, if you wish to confront your feelings and grief, and thereby pat your back for your encouragement, write a letter to your innocent self, in the style of Elena Gilbert from Vampire Diaries, and state your feelings about everything that passed by. You will feel elevated by the end of it even if the pages of your diary are drenched in your tears.

#5 Make them jealous and uncomfortable 

Instead of replying to their texts, post group selfies on your status and make it visible to them so that they know by heart that you won’t stand them in your life. They won’t be misled into thinking that they have any scope to rectify things. Any misgivings of sorts are selfish here but not unacceptable. You are fastening yourself against a person who didn’t treat you well. They don’t deserve your sympathy.

#6 Block them 

This is the easiest and most popular of all the steps. Blocking makes the game easy. You don’t have to take a trip down memory lane, feel humiliated by the unfair treatment, and rack your mind with the possibilities, explanations, and reasons for the same. You get rid of the person for good from your life. It enables you to move forward and stay happy. This is the least you can do for yourself on your birthday.

Tips 

• Learn to distinguish the important from the unnecessary. A wish from the dumper is unnecessary. The last thing on your birthday to-do list should be to care about it. Disregard their wish with the same fervor and enthusiasm with which you discarded them.

• Staying modest, if it is a part of your nature, is doable. Reply briefly without any intent to entertain further. Keep your safeguards on, and reply late. Acknowledging the respect paid by someone a little late in life helps to accommodate and adjust your thoughts better. 

• On the days that are very important in your life, keep yourself surrounded by happy people and immersed in happy thoughts. In effect, the wrong influencers will be away and you will be in the disposition to make the most of the day. It shouldn’t be compromised at the confrontation of a saddening episode from the past.