He Doesn’t Compliment My Appearance (Unpacking the Reasons)

When your relationship gets old, the desire to seek validation as well as the choice to sing praises about the person you love becomes twisted and most lovebirds fail to see the maturity of it. While your boyfriend might not be complimenting you directly, he is praising you before his acquaintances. He is always having your back. That is what you need to rely on. 

To know more continue reading below. 

Reasons why your boyfriend isn’t complimenting your appearance

Your boyfriend not complimenting you doesn’t mean that you have lost your charm. It might just be that he is way too distracted by something else. Try to be cooperative and give him time. If it is a meaningful relationship, it won’t be long before he opens his heart to you. 

Until then, however, let’s untangle the equation by figuring out other possible reasons behind your boyfriend’s behavior. Keep reading below to know more. 

#1 He might not be a natural complimenter 

If you are dating a shy person, you will see that your boyfriend is always rosy around you but never quite complimenting you with heavenly words. He will do things to be gentle and caring about you but he wouldn’t use words to show this. It means that you are dating a man of action rather than a man of words, and that dear lady, is the heaviest compliment that can fall on a girl!

Securing a chivalrous gentleman has become the saying of folklore until the point when you meet someone with a gentle upbringing and good manners. While you might find it rude that your boyfriend doesn’t compliment you, he is more busy always shielding you from the outside wayward and contaminated influence of the world that can do you harm. 

You are an independent woman who needs no protection, but your man insists on safeguarding your beauty from the evil eye. You are the apple of his eye and you can see this in his eyes. Not everyone is a natural complimenter and skillful with words. 

Hence, my suggestion would be to go very harsh on him all at once but rather take it one step at a time. Observe things that matter rather than focusing on things that are not as important.

#2 He might not be aware that it's important to you 

If you have not stated your expectations clearly before your boyfriend, it is high time that you do it. Your boyfriend should have an idea as to what are deal breakers for you, which are the qualities that you look for in the guy you are dating, how positive affirmation works for you, and why are you dating your boyfriend and not some douche-bag in the world.

This will help him in regulating his behavior because, in your eyes, he is a gentleman. He will work in keeping that image and securing your love. Hence, even if you haven’t had conversations on these lines before, I suggest you do it now. Tell him about your expectations while not discounting his expectations from you, and refrain from suggesting anything heavy or radically different. When you keep it easy and aligned with his natural behavior, he will be able to adapt to it quickly and this will stay or remain with you permanently.

#3 He might be a perfectionist 

If your boyfriend is a perfectionist and if you have put on glutes since you started dating him or you are not working towards increasing your muscle mass whereas your boyfriend is someone who is always working in that direction and spending most of his time in the gym, he must be coming across women who are burning their sweat, running their extra mile, and looking too hot to resist. 

In such a case, when he discovers that he is dating a lethargic girl who is mostly having a persistent laidback attitude in life, he won’t appreciate it. Hence, my suggestion here is, if you date a perfectionist, struggle towards becoming one yourself. It is all about the willingness to work on yourself rather than radically change yourself at once. The growth curve should be widened and that alone will be impressive enough to fuel his heart with wild passion for you.

#4 You get handy compliments from others 

This happens when you are an extrovert, a social influencer, or a party animal. Whereas, if the guy you are dating is none of these, he might seek a normal life, away from the camera lens. 

Hence, while he might get attracted to you owing to an opposite personality and even look up to you as someone who can do things and reach places where he might not find himself very comfortable, he might fail to praise you for it due to being in a state of persistent awe. 

It is important to note here that your boyfriend might also get jealous of people who are herding you around, and singing praises about you. It is better to talk to him about this and try and understand where his comfort zone lies.

#5 Looks are not all that matters 

While everything begins with the gaze story as two people come together when they find each other attractive, that is not how the relationship sustains. If you have been dating for a while now, you need to make your partner feel more than just attraction or lust. You need to show that you care and that your love for him is deeper and greater than everything else in the world. 

Hence, if you have always acted to be your person without caring much about the world, you might fail to appreciate what your boyfriend is bringing to the table. Don’t be blinded in one eye. See things completely even if you want to judge him. However, in matters of love, it is best to take what is given and give what you can offer wholeheartedly. When you practice that, such petty things will not trouble you as much.

#6 He might be bored with you 

Let us put all risks at the table and account for them one by one. You should not discount the fact that your boyfriend might just have got weary of the relationship, and is looking for a break. It is okay. It doesn’t mean that he doesn’t love you or that he hates you. It only means that the relationship might have become overwhelming and he needs some me-time. 

You can use it too. Think of it nicely. You don’t have to condemn your boyfriend for anything. Rather encourage him to open up to you. Tell him that there is nothing to fear and it would only increase your respect for him if he can voice out his opinion and tell you the truth open-heartedly. That would show that your relationship can be saved, and these passing years with him were true. 

If the risk says that your boyfriend has taken you for granted, perhaps you resort to a noncooperative silent treatment in which you see him less, spend less time with him, don’t make phone calls from your end, stop sending photos of any nature, or making out promptly when he comes to see you. Let him work his way up the hill so that when next time he does it, he knows that he will have to start from scratch.

#7 He might be going through a rough patch and worried 

Perhaps your boyfriend is going through a rough patch, and he might not have been too vocal about it owing to his reservations. You can help him in opening up more to you. Spend time with him even if it is done in silence, even when you don’t have things to talk about. Rather than spending more and more time complaining, try to find peace in each other.

As such, even if your boyfriend doesn’t share his problems with you, it is okay. With time, he will come around. Once he starts seeking solace in you, perhaps the nature of his problem or his approach to the problems might change. He would see these as mere hurdles, and might not mind it as much. Love empowers lovers. It is majestic. Let its power take you forward.

#8 He might not feel the need to compliment you 

Your boyfriend might find it absurd to compliment your appearance. He might wonder, why give validation when he has declared you to be his better half? You might think of him as a no-romance guy, and he might be so, or it might also be that while he is practical, he never fails in making you feel special. 

Does he kiss you when he sees you dressed up beautifully? Does he make contact with your eyes? Does he offer you a shy smile to show you how much you mean to him? If yes, he hasn’t left any room for further affirmations. If not, why are you with him?

You understand it when you are not loved or respected. It isn’t that complicated. Close your eyes and think about him. If your mind flourishes with beautiful thoughts that paint a smile on your face, that is good enough to keep you going. If you get uncomfortable and feel strangled, wanting to go back to the moment when you first met him and undoing the call you had taken then, he is not your person.

#9 You might not compliment him either 

If you don’t praise your boyfriend, appreciate him for whatever he does for you, or showers compliments on his looks and deny to make him feel wanted, he must be hurt. The fuel of a relationship is to make each other feel wanted. Your passion should be shown in your eyes, and come out in your words. If that isn’t happening, then you need to immediately make reforms. 

You cannot love a person without finding them attractive. If you are doing it anyway then you are making a compromise. A compromised equation doesn’t run for long. Hence, begin from the beginning and evaluate your feelings. How did you fall in love with him? How did he fall in love with you? How far have you made it together? How far do you intend to go? When the pointers are clear and well-discussed, you would be able to connect the dots and comprehend your boyfriend’s behavior better.

#10 He might have caught you lying 

If your boyfriend caught you lying, even if you aren’t aware of it, or if you think you managed to handle the situation well, that might not quite be the case. He has stopped trusting you and as a result, stopped noticing you. As harsh as it may sound and as strong as the words might sting, your boyfriend might be trying to detach himself from you, or taking time to get over the fact that you told him a lie on his face.

The only way to make amends is by gaining back his trust. Begin by accepting your fault and giving him a genuine apology. He should feel it. Next, earn his trust. There is no shortcut to it. It is a slow process. Invest your time with small steps. Light is always there at the end of the tunnel.

#11 He might be cheating on you 

Look for the signs to find out if your boyfriend is cheating on you. That would clear the case and you will be able to understand whether he isn’t complimenting you because someone new is on his mind, or because he has better reasons than that. 

Common listicles to check the infidelity of your boyfriend are as follows

• He is always online but he isn’t texting you
• His call is always busy and he makes it a point to not return your calls
• He is always giving you justifications
• He smells different
• His behavior is such that you feel you don’t know this person
• You don’t feel yourself around him anymore, his company is too taxing

If a combination of the above-listed things is happening to you, it is better to confront him even if you lack solid evidence. He should see that the way he is treating you is not acceptable. 

#12 He might not be good with words 

If your boyfriend has always found it difficult to express himself, he might pass on the whole compliment business. It is not just about saying, You look beautiful. For romantic guys, it is about making it poetic and delicate for you. However, he is aware that he cannot do it that well, so he might not be trying it at all. 

You can help him here by giving him cards with prompts that he needs to fill in for you. This will show you his love and the things that he likes about you. It will open up a new way to keep things warm and dynamic between both of you. 

When you work around this idea, he will understand and appreciate your intention. Eventually, you will see that he begins to take the initiative by turns and you won’t need to go pushing after him anymore. Remember, instilling encouragement can make a big difference in a person’s life.

#13 He might be missing his ex 

You never know what can occur to a man and put him back in a trance. It is vital to know the triggering points of the guy you date. Something said or done, or exposed might bring back a flood of memories. It is never a surprise to find one’s ex showing unexpectedly at the door.

if, god forbid, something of such a nature passed by between your boyfriend and his ex which has instilled all the greater feelings back in him to the extent that he has decided to let go of you, tarnished you from his mind at once, he was never worthy of your time. 

It is bad news for him because he will be stuck in the loop where he might constantly get played by his ex. For you, however, it is a golden opportunity to get the clearest picture of the happenings and bring some good to yourself. Remember, sometimes the best thing you can do in the world is safeguard yourself and your interest rather than mind someone else’s business. People who are fickle-minded are capricious and petulant. It is for the best to leave them alone in the world. To know more, click on the link given below.

Related Read: My Boyfriend Calls Me the Same Nickname as His Ex (Here’s Why)

#14 He might be spending time with his friends 

Your boyfriend might be neglecting you because he is having a great time with his friends. It doesn’t mean that it is a justifiable reason to neglect you. However, this is not as bad as it might sound. The fact that he is spending time with his friends perhaps playing video games all day will also enable him to strike a balance between his romantic life and life with friends. 

This is important because it keeps the relationship in check from getting too overwhelming at once. There are two things that you can do here. First, take your time off too and spend it with your friends, or go for a spa and self-pamper yourself on days when your boyfriend is too busy to be with you. Second, get to know each other’s friends. It will build up confidence as you would know who your boyfriend is spending time with. Besides your friends will be able to hang out together with both of you. They won’t mind the presence or feel shaken up by the group. It will help you to embrace all sides of each other in a wholesome way.

Related Read: My Boyfriend Goes to Bars Without Me: Is It Okay? | Let’s Find

What to do when your boyfriend isn’t complimenting your appearance? 

Confronting your boyfriend to ask him what is the matter lately because you don’t feel yourself around him anymore, he is putting you into an awkward position and you are trying to understand if it is a deliberate mood or done unknowingly can be the ultimate move.

How to do it, read below to find out.

#1 Tell him about it 

Tell your boyfriend that you feel he might be neglecting you. Ask him to help you understand the reason behind his apparent sudden change of behavior. 

Listen to him before you counter him. Tell him about the kind of treatment you expect, and state your deal breakers clearly. That way, he will know what he is risking.

#2 Be more considerate 

By being more considerate, you are being more patient and giving him time to come around by himself. Whatever he is doing, the chances are that he is doing it consciously. 

When he doesn’t call you gorgeous, he might be aware of it. If the behavior persists then perhaps directly ask him if all is well. For all you know, he might be hiding something serious from you.

#3 Give him space 

Allowing your boyfriend some space means encouraging him to take a weekend off and hang out with his friends. This will make him appreciate you, and his friends might even claim that you are a gem of a person. It is for the best to not lose you to the world. 

The whole deal takes a great turn of events when it comes directly from the friends’ mouths to be with you and to love you because they can see that you do. Just imagine, how very special and blessed will that make him feel for you.

#4 Do something special for him 

Give your boyfriend a surprise and make him feel on top of the world. Do something special for him without any reason. You don’t need any occasion for it. Perhaps book his tickets to watch his favorite player playing the match. Buy him the models of his superheroes.

Do things that will make him feel great. Make him happy. Brainstorm yourself and think of out of box ideas. You can take the help of your friends or his friends. It will come forward as a strong gesture to show that he means the world to you and that you like to walk the extra mile to make him happy.

#5 Increase the frequency of calls 

By increasing the frequency of calls, you will get to know each other more. If you are at the initial stage of your relationship, this step becomes important. Take all the time in the world to know each other. 

The calls can be a blend of both voice and video calls so that you get accustomed to the environment inhabited by him. You would see the surrounding and you would know his mood. It will help you to know him more. What he likes, what he doesn’t like, where he likes to spend more time, where less, et cetera. The idea is to be the person who knows her boyfriend inside out. 

You should understand the aura so that the next time when you see a behavior, you know what exactly is happening. It will make you a better judge of the events and you will be able to act accordingly. 

#6 Make him your priority 

Try to be available for your boyfriend round the clock and make him your priority in any given situation. For instance, if you are busy with your colleagues or out with your friend but your boyfriend calls you, instead of not answering his call, excuse yourself from them for two minutes to attend to him. 

The idea is to make everyone know and appreciate what he means to you. When the world knows and sees it, your boyfriend will know what he means to you too. When you do this, you will become his go-to person in life. He will call you and inform you about the change that takes place around him, about something that he is proud of, and about something that has saddened him. 

This way, you are raising the platform by becoming each other’s constants. You share every little moment because that is the meaning that both of you have started to hold in each other’s life. Now think to yourself, can there be anything more beautiful or glamorous than this? The answer is no. Love is the most supreme feeling, and you both will be happy to have found it.

#7 Make out 

Making out is essential because it helps to dissipate any form of unwanted tension between you and your boyfriend. Moreover, when you are sleeping together, you are not just baring each other’s bodies but souls before your partners. They see your insecurities, they kiss your wounds. It has a magical quality. 

You feel drunk in love and there is no other place in the world where you would rather be. It also helps to keep the boredom away. When you make special arrangements to get laid, it is not just getting laid. You are enhancing the experience by customizing it. The thought process works in the direction of pleasing each other. You want to make it the best of all your experiences, and the desire itself is enough to keep you going.

#8 Go for a staycation 

Planning a staycation will help you to spend a good amount of time together. It will allow you to raise issues without sounding harsh. The outcome will be honest confessions. You won’t be scared nor let him get freaked out. 

You can dress before him and ask him to compliment your looks in the sweetest words ever said. Offer it to him as a challenge and see his reaction. Let him amuse you. Make the opportunity handy. It will help you to see things clearly and enable you to analyze the magnitude and depth of it.

#9 Give him the silent treatment 

If you have tried everything and still have failed to secure his attention or make him spill some sweet words in your praise, perhaps it is time to consider a harsh move. The easiest harsh move that can be taken into account is giving him the silent treatment. 

You don’t have to do anything here and that is the beauty of it. You are doing everything by doing nothing at all. When you start ignoring his texts or phone calls, or better still, you attend to and answer them but give him monosyllabic replies, you are not showing any enthusiasm to learn about his day or willingness to meet him, it is sure to pierce a nail in his mind and heart alike. 

The table will turn and it will be he to ask him now if something is the matter. If and when he does it, try not to lash out. The ferocity of rebukes would discount the damage done. Be subtle in your disapproval of the treatment. Tell him softly about what you had been expecting and how he behaved with you. Give him time to make a response. If he loves you, he will apologize and try to make up for the lost moment. If he has been fooling around with you, he will fail to notice that you had been ignoring him.

#10 Consider whether this is a deal-breaker for you 

Try to analyze the situation and understand for yourself if it is a deal breaker for you. The way of doing that is by seeing if complimenting appearances truly matters. OR whether it is how your character is perceived, what difference you can make in your boyfriend’s life, and how steadfast he is in his commitment and devotion to you that counts?

Appearances can deceive, and character cannot. When he loves you for your intrinsic qualities, the scope of this love will last longer than when he loves you for your looks. If he loves you for your looks but later discovers that you have a shallow character, he might find it too unattractive. 

But when he loves you for who you are, your beauty will add to your charm. It is for you to decide which aspect of the relationship you intend to direct relationship and if you plan on holding grudges, when and how would you want to do it.

Tips 

• Compliments on appearances are not everything as long as you are having meaningful exchanges. Don't discount that which matters and is more important than something superficial in nature. 
• Learn to communicate your feelings to your boyfriend. Nothing feels more liberating than that. You know that you have a listener who is keen to learn about all that you have to say. Use this as an advantage to better your equation. 
• Feedback should be both ways. Fix a day and time when you both will engage in meaningful exchanges and feedback on how you have been performing as a girlfriend and how he has been performing as a boyfriend. Discuss whether you are meeting each other's expectations or not, and what are how you can fix them.