He Doesn’t Call Me Anymore (Reasons + Ways to Respond)

If you have been giving mixed signals to a guy, and you expect him to remain hooked on you, you are deluded. In the world of dating applications, finding a partner is a matter of a click. 

Hence, if you are wondering why the guy doesn't call you anymore, don't wonder. I'm here to help you out in understanding the etiquette of the current dating culture. 

Read this blog post to know more. 

Reasons why he doesn't call you anymore 

He is not interested in you anymore. To captivate a person’s mind and thoughts in this generation is a perseverance task. It is similar to Sisyphus rolling the huge stone upwards and starting again from scratch. 

You can get out of favor in a person’s life without any warning. However, it is best to stay alert and on the lookout for red flags. You might not always get the attention you seek. Besides, some men are capricious. They don’t know what their heart wants and get easily swung by the excitable proposer of dating another. 

Continue reading below to figure out what kind of a person is this guy, and where you stand with him. 

#1 He is busy with work or other commitments 

It is not necessary that the guy had a change of heart, it might just be that reality caught up with him. You need to understand his routine, the nature of work that he is involved with, his current designation, his ambition, and his plans in terms of what he is aiming at in the immediate years and in ten years down the line. 

It will enable you to program a scheme in your mind to understand his working cycle. There are times when the workload is more, and times when it is less. Perhaps he started talking to you when there wasn’t any work pressure as such. However, now he is at the head of operations.

If you willingly take an interest in his nature and scheme of work, he will be more than happy to make you a part of it. After all, it is not every day that a guy gets a girl who is accommodative and understands the importance of ambition. 

Use the opportunity to gather some experience yourself, and make it better. When you too set your goals right and work towards it, you both together can take the future as a power couple brimming with energy. It will prevent either of you from driving things to a hyped level where the monotonous daily will bore you to death and you will name it stereotypically as the loss of spark.

#2 He is going through a rough patch 

If the guy is always annoyed, crossing you in all your statements, being too nihilist about life, feeling lost, and behaving in wayward ways just to distract himself, it might be because he is going through a rough patch. 

Moreover, you get to see a person’s true face after you have spent a considerable amount of time with them. Initial appearances and behavior are affectations of engaging oneself in something new and interesting. You let yourself loose because you want to accommodate the new setting with the new people.

However, as soon as you get the hang of what it all is, you understand the environment and feel that you were either more comfortable in the previous setting or that you are better off than them, you begin to show the withdrawal symptom and a disinterested look on your face that makes you behave asocially.

This might be the case for this guy. It is advisable to consider the situation and circumstances in which you met him. If it was a dating platform where you were swiping right on random people in the hope of a break, perhaps the spring period is over. While the guy is going with the wind and taking things easy, you might have become a bit too attached to hover elsewhere.

#3 He is not interested in you anymore 

Either the guy got bored or you humored him a bit too much. When dealing with guys, you should not show all your cards at once. Your journey and how you present yourself before a person should be manifold to intrigue him. 

He should acknowledge that you aren’t just another girl next door. You are much more than that, and if he lets you go, he will miss out on a great opportunity. Hence, your every move should keep the ball in your court. Don’t come across as an easily submissive person or someone who can be quickly manipulated with. 

If you think that you have already messed up, it might not have been too late to make amends. All you need to do is throw some airs. Rather than being needy someone, be more assertive and rightful. If it is so easy for him to not call you, and if you have been the one reaching out to him for the past couple of weeks without any reciprocation, it is the best time for you to stop doing the same. 

If he doesn’t resume the calls, he was never interested in you, however, if he shows a renewed interest, don’t ask him for the reasons for his odd behavior. Play it like you didn’t even notice what happened in between but with the adjustment in your wavelength and bandwidth. 

It should be such that when he is over-call with you, every word he says is meaningful. If he just calls to talk nonsense, hang the call by showing yourself to be busy. Let him work hard to get to call or talk to you. You will be surprised that he will apologize for his ignorant behavior and carefree attitude with you. 

#4 He is taking you for granted 

If things were going smoothly and you were readily making all kinds of adjustments for the sake of your boyfriend, but you feel that everything has changed now and you don’t feel the same with him anymore, it might be because he has taken you for granted. 

One of the primary reasons for taking a person for granted is when you overwhelm them with your presence. If you are always around, quickly available over call, and give their texts the priority, they will skip the part where they should be appreciating you for your efforts and presence. Instead, they might think that you are never engaged with anything worthwhile. 

Always maintain a higher esteem before others. You can do this by playing busy, keeping yourself engaged in ways that boost your resume and growth, trying to be a public influencer, opening up a side channel for the outpour of your creativity, and more. The impression should be such that even if the guy is unable to find time for you, it should be okay because you have a handful of things to keep you going.

#5 You gave mixed signals 

If you have taken the guy for granted by calling him one day and hanging up randomly on another day, or by answering his calls according to your mood and doing things the way it feels convenient to you, you have been giving him mixed signals. The case gets worse if after spending a great time together, the guy tried to kiss you or if he proposed to you or dropped hints of doing it but you took your step back. 

It would show that while you might appreciate and enjoy his company, you don’t find it worthwhile to date him. He might take it as a strong sign of disrespect and feel humiliated. Hence, it is important to look at your words and actions for understanding where things went wrong and how. He might not be at fault at all. It has been you who has been giving him the wrong impression, or leisurely playing around with him time. 

If you are sorry for the treatment you have given him, you can make amends by doing something selfless solely to please him. Gift him flowers, bake him dessert, make him a card, do anything to show that you have done it by keeping only him in your mind. He will appreciate it, and the rest of the things will become a part of the past.

#6 You threw a lot of tantrums 

If he kept calling and chasing you to ask you out but not even once did you agree to wint him or showed any inclination for the same, he might have got too fed up and exhausted by now. It might have given him the impression that you were playing around with him. If your reasons were genuine and harmless, perhaps turn the table and do the reverse to make up for his past efforts.

 If he agrees to meet you, show him the pictures as proof of your honesty. However, most importantly, without wasting any more time, express your feelings for him. If you like him, tell him so. Don’t keep him hanging in between. 

Liking does not imply that he will expect you to love him or get committed to him, it only implies that you are fond of him and you would like to take time to know him more. That much at this stage is good enough. 

#7 He is out of town 

If the guy is a long-distance buddy, he might not inform you about his plans and travel details. He might choose to keep his life low-key. Focus on the topics of discussions that take place between you and him. If it is more to do with courtship or s*xting without revealing any personal information, he will not disclose his plans to you or anything that goes on in his life at a personal or work level. 

The reason is simple. He is using you as a toy thing. There is nothing serious, in his eyes, taking place between both of you. For him, everything is limited to fond exchanges that help him to work efficiently in life. For all you know, he might even have a girlfriend and uses you for his convenience to fool around with. 

If you also wanted the equation to be such then never mind. If not, then disrupt the silence, locate him on social media accounts, stalk him on Linkedin, and fetch useful pieces of information about him. 

However, there is little that you will be able to do here. You never made him promise anything. The line of your relationship with him is blurred rather than being distinguished and you have no clue as to what is happening.

#8 His ex is back 

If the guy was struggling with his ex and was attracted to you because he was either in denial or because you resembled his ex or the way she behaves in some manner, soft feelings still linger in his heart for her. If all of a sudden he has stopped calling you, there can be only two possible situations in this scenario. 

Either he has decided to give up completely on his ex and therefore on you which relates her to you so that he can move on in life, or his ex is back in his life and he hasn’t closed his doors on her. 

There is only one way to know which of it has happened and it is by waiting but waiting for the answer doesn’t mean being hopeful. The guy has not taken you to be his first choice. For him, even if he comes back, you will be the second option. Don’t be that to anyone no matter how dear you might hold him or how affluent his personality might be.

#9 He was fooling around with you 

If the guy had made it clear from the beginning that he isn’t looking for anything serious yet you invested your whole soul into it, the fault is yours. Our heart is clingy. It longs for love. Hence, while the guy was perhaps trying to chill with you, have a good time, and similarly go about life, you took everything to the next level.

It is for the best to let go of the dreamy world and stay rooted to have dreams but to make them true independently. Be mindful of the people you allow in your life and the activities you indulge in with them. Going about distributing free passes to everyone will be taxing.

#10 He is unsure about the future of the relationship

Perhaps the guy is getting distant from you because he is not sure about the future of the relationship. It might be a conflict of interest, status, religion, or some other factor that has convinced him that you both might not pair up as great partners. 

You can talk to him about it and perhaps ask for an opportunity to state your opinion regarding this. It is not true that things can’t be sorted when you have made up your mind about it. However, if his feelings for you are lukewarm, it will affect his performance as well. You deserve to be loved wholeheartedly, settle for nothing less. 

In such a situation, asking the right questions will lead the way. Ask him about his feelings. Seek clarity. Investing your time and effort and then switching your fondness to someone else is not done easily. 

#11 You had a fight 

If you broke into a fight the last time you were on a call, the guy might be avoiding calling you because he doesn’t want to get into a conflict with you. He might be taking his time to understand things. It doesn’t mean that he is trying to counterargue your points. He might as well just be taking out the time to be able to perceive your points properly.

You should do the same. Don’t stick by your points or side of the argument too firmly. Instead, try to allow him the benefit of the doubt. Listen to him. Revisit the argument to see if you were too relentless or harsh. Call him and try to level up the argument with a mutual understanding. Remember, fights are healthy. It means that both of you are valuing each other. You are two eager souls who want a certain equation to work and develop between you. Keep the optimism up. To know more, click on the link below. 

Related Read: We Haven’t Talked in a Week After the Fight (Is It Normal?)

What to do when he doesn't call you anymore?

Take the initiative rather than sitting idle and waiting for him to call. If he doesn’t pick up, you will know that he is trying to ignore you. If he answers, you can ask him to meet up and based on his enthusiasm, you will be able to guess if he wants to meet you or not. 

To know more, continue reading below.

#1 You call him 

It is brave to take the first step. Don’t think that it will make you puny in the face of the circumstances. Moreover, seeking clarity is the work of the wise. Rather than staying stuck in one place and procrastinating actions because you are still keeping hope, get a clear idea about what is going on in the guy’s mind.

It will enable you to plan your next set of steps constructively. If he shows fondness, you can talk about want went wrong and what are the challenges that you are facing with him. If he is very cross, sharp, and pungent, you can hug him and tell him that you don’t want any grudge in between, even if that means that this is your last time meeting each other, if he ignores your calls or blocks you, consider it a free pass to move on and to do better next time. 

Ignore a guy who makes similar moves like this one. Don’t fall for the same trap. Take things slow but not so slow that either of you begins to lose interest. To give it a different aura, try to connect on platforms where your interests match. That way, on days when you don’t know where to go or what to do, you can visit your book club, or go to watch a sport together. 

#2 Meet him 

If you know the guy personally and have been to his place before, it is suggested that you give him a surprise by showing up at his door. While it might prove to be a bit extreme of a step, you will be able to witness the scenes which have been keeping him away from you. 

It could be that he is spending time and talking to someone else, or that he is down with a fever. If it is the former, you would know that the guy is not worthy of your time, if it is the latter, you can stay with him and assist him and make him feel better. Play board games or read storybooks. He will not feel lonely, and your bond will take a turn for the better.

#3 Be patient 

Don’t haste to take a step. There is no necessity to make things happen actively. Sometimes sleeping over it helps. You will know the importance you hold in his life. It will also help you to estimate his significance in yours. 

Sometimes we get addicted to a person. We want to thoughtlessly cling to them because we feel that they are our best bet. But that might not necessarily be the case. Hence, allowing him to take his time off you and taking off time for yourself is a good thing to do. 

This step doesn’t necessarily mean that you will start seeing new people. The purpose should be to meditate on the bond that you share. It should be predecided. Rather than getting absorbed in the bustling of the city lights or acting under peer pressure to party, find a secluded spot and take deep breaths. 

Sit with a diary and a pen to make notes about things. Talk about all your feelings. What you like and adore about him, his most attractive quality, how you plan to take things forward with him, and why you cherish him so much. If he voluntarily engages in a similar activity, you can shape this into something meaningful.

#4 Express your feelings 

Why are writing letters so outdated? When you are cultivating a rare bond with someone, write them a letter. Make them feel special. Decorate it with full-fledged efforts. It is about putting your feelings rawly in the letter. Giving the other person the privilege to see right through you. 

Your handwriting will take a turn. It will be expressive and beautiful. You will be able to play on the rhythm by showing your shifts in the degree of fondness through art. You can also make him a playlist, a fusion of sorts to make him feel special. Never miss a chance of doing something special for someone. Whether they remain in your life or not, the memories will always be fond and special.

#5 Let him take his time 

If you feel that the guy needs time because he is still getting over his ex, allow him to. It is okay to just be around and available. You don’t have to give everything a name. 

If he is taking his time, it means that whatever decision he arrives at will be genuine. He won't try you out and then say that he is sorry because it didn't work out. Whatever happens, will be genuine from his end.

#6 Set some expectations 

If you can exercise power and liberty over him, try to set some limitations. For example, you could ask him to call you once a day or once a week as per the frequency and convenience of both of you. 

When you fix a slot, it would mean that you will also be available during that time. So it is a commitment made from both ends. You both will honor it and that itself will add sweetness to your relationship. 

#7 Focus on better things 

If you can see that the guy doesn't care about you much, it implies that he is not your best bet. This in turn means that you should focus your time and energy on some place that is more fitting and deserving. 

Things that matter the most are your sanity, happiness, and peace. If this equation has had an ill impact on your other relationships, that is, if you have become ignorant towards your friends, you have started neglecting your family, and overall you have stopped taking time to pamper yourself, this is not the place for you.

#8 Evaluate the relationship

Think from the beginning. How far have you come in your relationship? Has it improved, remained the same, or become worse? Now think of what the normal course should have been and how you had imagined it to be. 

Figure out whether it was you who lacked the passion or commitment and caused a disturbance or was it the guy? If there's no one to blame then perhaps you both weren't compatible enough for each other. 

The final learning is that when two people are in love, they will automatically become compatible with each other. Remember, people change for the better in love. You become more accommodating and loving towards one another. It improves you and makes you a better person in the process.

Tips 

• Don't care for trivialities when you intend to maintain a relationship. Looking out for flaws and holding strong resentments isn't the work of lovers. Instead, if and when you wish to talk to the person who matters, pick up your phone and give them a call. 
• What is better than holding resentments? Expressing it. You cannot expect the guy to feel you. He might be genuinely engaged in something which is preventing him to give his best shot with you. Hence, be more expressive in words and gestures. Love always comes back to you. You won't be at a loss.
• Bearing patience is the best and the noblest of attitudes. You don't have to get heated up, overthink, or work towards finding an immediate answer. Merely holding back and staying strong, trusting your instinct, and believing in your commitment will not only bring you all the answers but also show you the right path.