He Calls Me Every Night Before Bed But Why? (11 Secret Reasons)

Guys' instincts take a surge when they are alone and in the darkness of the night. It is then that they most strongly desire a female companion to help them ease down. If the guy you have started growing fond of or is fond of calls you every night before bed, it means that he is strongly attracted to you. 

While during the first few exchanges, he might beat about the bush and talk in innuendos, eventually he will take up pace. However, once the talk takes that turn, there is no return from there. Hence, you should make up your mind regarding the kind of treatment that you look forward to and expect to get from him. 

In this blog post, I'll help you figure out all the doubts regarding why he is calling you every night before going to bed, and how should you make an appropriate response to it. 

Keep reading below to know more. 

Reasons why he calls you every night before bed 

He is attracted to you but perhaps tries to fight over with instinct during the day. It may be because he can't court you in broad daylight so he takes refuge at night. 

To know more, continue reading below.

#1 You humor him 

The foremost reason why someone calls you before bed is because you allow him to. Your allowance might be based on your fondness for him. As such, he knows that he has set a benchmark where you expect him to call you every night. It has become part of an unsaid expression that has taken the form of a ritual between both of you. 

Depending on the context around which your conversation takes place, the reason why both of you are investing your time in it is because you both are either enjoying it or gaining some advantage from it. Hence, either it is a romantic exchange that takes place before either of you is lulled in the enchanting power of the moon, or you are talking business because money is sweeter than honey. 

If he is your ex or divorced husband, he is trying to gain favors from you. These favors could be something physical or financial. Hence, before you get emotionally involved again, taste the phrase “You know better,” and if you still feel that he can be trusted or that you want to pursue him or get pursued by him any further, continue the calls. If not, start ditching him or simply put your phone on DND mode. 

#2 He wants to ensure you are okay 

If you have been keeping unwell or you have lately switched to a new city, a guy who is fond of you might call you every night before he goes to bed to hear your voice and know that you are doing well. It would mean that he longs to be with you. His voice might be full of warmth. He may tell you things that will make you feel better about life. 

You both will get attached this way. There might be a lurking fear in you that will you be able to get sleep on the nights when he decides not to call you. The thought that when you start dating again, will your boyfriend accept this behavior might hammer your brain. 

It will look like friends with benefits equation where you will flirt, talk, and perhaps begin to send texts with double entendre to each other without any worries. It will make you bask in comfort. But at the same time, it will make it difficult for an outsider to invade this space by overthrowing this guy. 

That is when you will have to ask him to either ask you out already or if the distance and space don’t allow it, then leave you be. This will become the definitive moment in the future when you will have to break his heart or get your heart broken, you both might turn sore against each other. Hence, either stay fastened and prepared for what is to come or discuss it in advance and give this the path you would want it to take. 

#3 He wants to tell you about his day 

Perhaps the guy likes talking to you. He likes disclosing to you every little thing that has happened to him during the day. It might be because he thinks of you as a great friend, he is lonely and has no one else to go to, you act as a counselor by listening to him and helping him with the right decision, or because he feels that you care. 

This might become the beginning of a very long relationship if you don’t get bored or find the exchanges monotonous and selfish. It is only a matter of time before he begins to talk to you about confidential matters. He might feel comfortable with you. He may be keeping the relationship platonic with no perverse intent. However, don’t let things drift in the way and direction he desires. Always summon out time to figure out what you want.

#4 He has feelings for you 

If the guy is emotionally attached to you, but you have been sidelining him for a while now, he might be trying to be available for you round the clock when nobody is available to listen to you talk, lend you shoulders, and make you feel nice and pretty about yourself. By merely being available for you and showing the scope of an interest in you, he has had a captivating effect. 

In your free time, you are stirred to understand the nature of his business. It means that he has been partly successful. How you want to take this ahead is your call to make. If you want to continue it this way direction less till the time you have something better to do, so be it. 

If you want to get to the point rather than encouraging this treatment any further, you know well that you must stop answering his calls. Remember, you select the behavior in which you want to be treated. Don’t allow others to dictate the terms.

#5 There's an invisible thread of pull between you

If neither of you has been ready to talk about it outright or acknowledge an unnamed impulse that has always stimulated both of you because either both of you are taken or there is some promise made, some bond, or some notion that has made it challenging, disagreeable and unacceptable for you to bare yourself in blunt words to each other, this squaring back to level one will go on for as long as you willingly decide to cut it off. 

The best way is to acknowledge the challenge that is barring you from coming together. It will remove the confusion away, show that you have your limits, and might even help you to propose a counter solution by coming together. It is your call to make. The opposing force might not be able to stand straight in the face of sheer love. 

#6 He is cheating on his girlfriend 

If the guy is cheating on his girlfriend, he will only find it comfortable to talk to you at night when she is sleeping. The chances are that he is trying to break the bed with you. However, he is first trying to build an understanding which puts it clear that he is only interested in a one-night stand. 

He does not want to lose his girlfriend’s favor. Hence, whatever happens between both of you needs to be extremely discreet in his books. You will understand and be able to get hold of his shady behavior if he is keeping the options of disappearing messages on, or if he is talking to you in vanish mode. 

Ask yourself why are you letting him treat you as his sidekick. It isn’t that your conscience isn’t pricking you or else you wouldn’t have cared so much to find an answer. This might emerge as a toxic pattern. You don’t want to get involved in any shady business. Hence, if the guy is not being honest enough, better to dumb him.

#7 He is trying to lure you 

It might be that the guy is trying to lure you into committing something that you either don’t find comfortable doing at the moment or he is trying to get an upper hand into tempting you. It could be so if there is a formidable age gap between you. 

Any societal bifurcation that makes you feel that your conversation with the guy is not ethical, you look at it as a taboo, or you are just too shy to be amoral, might draw a pervert towards you. Hence, beware! You don’t want any trouble in life. There is nothing better than an honest man and an honest life. Do things that you won’t regret in the long run. 

#8 He likes to hear your voice before sleeping 

The guy is fond of your voice because it reminds him of someone. This need not be romantic. It could be the reminder of a sister, a lost friend, or someone else, perhaps an estranged lover. However, it is best not to make assumptions. If you have doubts in your mind, ask him straight about it. 

Put it in words such as, “If you don’t mind me asking, what is it that attracts you towards me? Is there a name for the comfort you are seeking? Is the comfort meant to be auditory or something more?” Let him do the talking now. You be a patient listener. Don’t give him reactions even if he is looking for your approval and disapproval. Don’t make it easy for him, and never commit your word to a person unless you are certain that your desires meet theirs.

#9 He stays busy during the day 

If the guy has proposed to you or if you are already dating or if you have recently broken up on mutual terms but don’t want to estrange one another at a go because the reasons were reasonable, it might be because the guy stays too busy during the day. This usually happens when it is not a nine-to-five job but a start-up or an attempt to become an entrepreneur. 

Even a change in circumstances might put a person in a position where they have to look after and care for an already flourishing business. The situation might be perplexing and if the guy is not talking business with you over call but just trying to keep it as a nonchalant exchange of dialogues, it is to forget all about the heavy responsibilities that might be burdening him down in a personal capacity. 

If he asks nothing of you and is happy to be the recipient of all that you have to offer, even if that is silence, the guy intends to become your soulmate. There cannot be a more beautiful relationship than this, and the general notion that you must find your soulmate in your romantic partner should prove itself to be a myth in your case. 

#10 You stay busy with your boyfriend during the day 

If the guy is bent on drifting you apart from your boyfriend, he might wait every night till the time when you are finally free to talk to him openly. In the eerie silence of the night, we voice our darkest desires and our greatest fears. If the guy is great with words, he might be performing an enchanting spell on you to sway you away from your boyfriend by breaking his romantic spell. 

If you are happy and satisfied in your relationship, unwilling to explore any further, you should remove this guy from your friends. He is among the last kind of person whom you might need in your life. Don’t allow him to become your nemesis.

#11 Owing to time zones 

If you are dating or mutually willing to date but you both reside in different countries or worse, in different time zones then owing to your conflicting work schedule, it might only be possible to talk at night because, in his country, it is the break of the day. This arrangement might not be very rewarding in the long run unless you are deciding to change countries. 

It will affect your sleeping cycle, and your thought pattern, and the fact that he won’t be available around the clock might prove to be a curse. Hence think twice before you make your wish or voice them. Getting carried away is easy but remaining steadfast comes with difficulty.

What to do when he calls you every night before bed 

Allow your mind to overrule your heart. If you find it reasonable for him to call you before bed every night, it is okay to continue with it. If your mind warns you against perverse intent, stop picking up his calls.

To know more, continue reading below.

#1 Understand your feelings 

Before attempting to grasp an understanding of what he might be feeling for you, take a strong understanding of your feelings. There has to be a reason why you are allowing him to call you at a late hour or answer those calls in the first place. Try to understand and come down to that one reason. 

After you have understood it, now try to analyze if you feel that he is on the same page as you. If the pages align then it is only a matter of time before things speed up and become favorable. If the pages are different, do you think they can be aligned together? And more importantly, is it worth it? 

Talking to a friend about your feelings will help you to voice your thoughts better. Take your thoughts out of your system and that is all that might take to find a resolution. Once you can speak it out with conviction, you won’t think twice before voicing your opinion to the guy. It will help you to come to a better decision.

#2 Talk about the future to seek clarity 

Familiarize yourself with the guy’s future course of action to figure out if he has charted the plan in such a way that it has some space for you. When you talk to him about it and if he is trying to play the long shot, he will drop the hints and make it obvious for you. 

But if he comes up with diplomatic replies, he is sending mixed signals, you are wasting your time perhaps on someone who might not even deserve a second look. Don’t be so modest in your humility that you allow others to play you.

#3 Talk during the day 

Rather than talking at night, talk during the day and see if there is a shift in tone and context. If he is more formal and reserved during the day, he might have bipolar disorder. Such people are too unreliable as they are fickle-minded. 

However, if he maintains the pace and tempo, doesn’t make an alteration in the subject, and makes you feel comfortable, you might want to proceed with it ahead in the angle you had planned. These are green signals and you should stand in approval of them. 

#4 Limit the topic of conversation 

Don’t let him jump between the topics or allow the chance to take the topics the way he wants. If he is the one to open a subject or start a conversation, break the norm by doing it the other way. Why wait for his call at all? 

If he is calling you at his convenience, you should call him before that as per your convenience. See if he entertains you because if he doesn’t then there is no reason for you to entertain him either. Whatever it is that he might be gaining from this equation, make sure that it is both ways. You should not be a giver here. 

#5 Don't humor him much 

Limit your conversation. If he is always being too lightheaded or flirtatious, change the line of conversation into something serious. If it freak him out, you freaked him out for good. Be unashamedly you. Don’t filter your thoughts to please his ear. 

The right man will love you for your originality and not because you kept up with the image of a deluded someone that he had in mind. Never allow someone the confidence that they can manipulate you the way they like. When you across as gullible, you easily lose your respect in their eyes.

#6 Dig into his details 

Don’t keep the acquaintance virtual when it is being maintained regularly. Dig into his details. Ask him questions even if he gets uncomfortable or feels that you are taking his interview. You haven’t stopped him from taking yours. 

If he isn’t asking you the same questions, it is either because he already knows the answer which would make him a guy out on a mission, or someone who couldn’t care less about your personality. 

If it is the latter, it is alarming and you must shun him from your contact list altogether. If it is the former, you will have to know what purpose he is trying to serve here.

#7 Meet in person 

When you have been catching up over call every night then why not meet in person too? This will show his sincerity towards you. If he intends to merely play you around, he might agree to meet you but at a place where he will get the option of getting handsy with you. 

If he is sincere, he will use this as an opportunity to bring about a proper proposal your way. He will take you on a date. He will put effort into making the arrangements and will ask you about your preferences, likes, and dislikes.

#8 Find stability 

Either with him or with someone better, your relationship goal should be to seek stability for peace of mind. If you can see that he wants you to stay hooked with him but never gives you a green flag to provide you with greater reasons for it, then he is merely fooling around. 

Don't ambush your career and life on this account. Keep your objectives clear. Don't let the scope of a relationship have a disastrous impact on your goals. Returning the objectives is crystal clear, it will help you to make the decisions accordingly.

#9 Learn the art of controlling your emotions 

Whether the guy gives you importance or not, you have the power to change the course by having a firm hold over your emotions. 

When you learn the art and skill of not getting carried away by someone's sweet approaches but rather staying determined with how you want to be courted, the guy will bend his ways to accommodate you accordingly. 

He won't suspect you or disregard you. When you show him the kind of behavior and treatment that you expect out of him, he will either start giving you green flags or make a narrow escape from any form of commitment as quickly as possible.

#10 Don't keep your hopes high 

Don't be too hopeful in any regard when you are merely exchanging flirtatious texts. It can take the uptrain or band hard on the surface by getting downhill. You won't have control here. 

Hence, sometimes it is important to believe in destiny. Allow destiny to do its work while you do yours. Be virtuous in actions, honest in motives, and stay patient. The blend of these three attributes will make anything possible.

Tips 

• A person can only treat you the way you allow them to. Hence, if the guy calls you every night before bed, it is because you answer his calls. 

• Don't fool yourself by making assumptions. Learn to firmly judge by actions. Before buying someone's words at face value, let them hustle to prove themselves right. 

• Peace of mind is always supreme. Do nothing in that domain that might sacrifice it. All your words and actions should be oriented towards protecting it.

• If you are getting out of your comfort zone for someone or something, first be sure that it is worth it. Don't take chances where you can see that it is not appreciated.