“Everything My Boyfriend Does Annoys Me” – What to Do?

We live in a world of reality. Whether you accept it or not, none of us resembles the characters of Mills and Boons. So, it is likely that partners cannot always act perfect with their better halves.

We tend to show the best parts of ourselves during the honeymoon stage of our relationship when everything seems nice and in tune.

But once this phase is over, and couples start to get to know each other well, they become more and more effortless in expressing their worst parts before their partners without the fear of rejection. 

Yes, because the initial chase is over.

And you know what, an ideal relationship doesn't have only the good parts. It comes with the blots of imperfections as well. So, it is normal if there are times when the person you love appears to be the most annoying one to you. 

But if you find yourself annoyed at every little thing he does, I must say this is a matter of serious concern. 

To help you get to the crux, I have formulated the article by breaking the key points into four principal segments:

• Identifying the annoying habits
• Possible reasons why you feel annoyed so easily
• Finding a solution 
• Focusing on the bright sides

It's time to peek behind the curtain, shall we?

Identifying the annoying habits

It is essential that you know if there are some specific habits of your boyfriend that irritate you or everything he does, regardless of their significance, causes your annoyance. 

There could be a range of things that may be disgusting to people who are not used to them and cannot accept them for a valid reason. 

Let me help by asking you to specify them one by one instead of lumping them up all together: 

#1 Procrastination

This is a common problem among many of us to procrastinate and delay things due to lazy and nonchalant attitudes. If he keeps on postponing important tasks repeatedly despite being a sufferer, your annoyance is definitely valid and justified. 

But if you know, that's rare with him, or it hardly makes a huge difference in his personal and professional life, you might be overreacting by getting angry.

#2 Messiness

I have heard people complaining about their boyfriends being messy and leaving personal staff here and there disarrayed. It gets challenging to accept quietly for people who are mostly very meticulous, organized, and particular about every detail of their life. 

This is not a unique story in the dynamic of a romantic partnership, especially when they stay together for a long time. Here, you have to think whether you are badgering him and yourself for too long over such pettiness or you are sick of trying to talk it out with your partner and end up getting mad at him.

#3 Tardiness

I agree that it can be really frustrating to get behind schedules due to your partner’s habit of being late. It can put you in awkward situations where you have to be answerable to others or feel embarrassed for failing to be on time. 

But does it occur too often? Is it that he never feels sorry? Have you found him trying to be punctual but incorrigibly clumsy to make it happen? I guess before you yell at him, you need to find the answers to them and calm yourself down.

#4 Eating and talking manners

People may find it funny, but it indeed counts as a bad manner to chew food noisily in a social gathering. There are a lot of others who highly criticize them as a sign of lack of etiquette. 

Similarly, talking while eating is also seen in an unfavorable light and labeled as ‘ungentleman-like’. Getting infuriated is a normal reaction, but holding a grudge and pressing the issue is not. You need to know where and when to stop and how much emotion to invest in them.

#5 Habit of interrupting and not listening

Does he refuse to listen to your words and interrupt in the middle of a sentence each time you are having a discussion? This can really rub you the wrong way as you might feel he doesn't let you express your feelings or doesn't know how to build a strong communication. But tell me one thing, getting annoyed or grumbling incessantly can't be a solution, can it?

It's hard not to turn sour, but if you are a realist, learn to use your patience until he is done with his words. Ask him to allow you the time to finish, but with poise, composure and conviction. Try your way out to see the results and believe me, you might see a ray of hope.

I won't deny that there can be several other habits that might be there in him to take you on edge, like leaving dirty things behind, constantly forgetting important dates and works, lack of responsibility, and the list goes on. 

The point is that you are free to react but should not have an emotional meltdown that can jeopardize the very relationship for issues that are not worth the attention.

Possible reasons why you feel annoyed so easily

Have you ever thought that it may not be the particular actions of your boyfriend that irritate you but something else that could be lying dormant underneath? Something that could be going unnoticed for a long time? Something that has nothing to do with his annoying practices? 

Well, to address them in the right way, you must know whether they are the reflections of some bigger personal and relational issues or simply minor irritations.

First off, let's get them divided into the categories of relationship struggles and personal issues. 

#1 Relationship issues 

Relational issues that are somehow not taken care of can sprout off later when we cannot stand our partners committing insignificant mistakes. We exchange bitter words and go on cribbing and complaining about them. 

Actually, this is our misplaced aggression that tries to find its way to a sudden outpour. Unfulfilled dreams, broken promises, and unmet expectations create a mass of despair in us, and we grow grumpy at the very sight of our loved ones who are behind those disappointments since we are reminded of their ill-treatment and lack of remorse. 

And when they do something out of line, it simply triggers the past, and we breathe fire at them. Do look back at your past as it can be your unhealed wounds that are taking toll on your present making you sound like a whining girlfriend. 

Overindulgence to each can be the strangest reason why couples get so peeved with their counter halves. Sometimes, they believe that love is subject to perish as long as the partners part away. So, they grow their little planet with the delusion that they both would be sufficient for each other and need nobody else to stay happy. 

With time, the space between them disappeares and they cut in everything their partners do, think, or decide. It eventually suffocates the other, and things start to get bitter. 

They discard the value of individual freedom and become controlling, dominant, and dictating. As a result, one begins to lose temper at the smallest flaws of the other and lash out at them. 

This is not it, my dear. The feeling of irk might be born out of a lack of communication as well. It's because we all have differences of opinions and, unfortunately, are less tolerant of the other one having contrasting points of view. Even if it's our beloved, we hardly show respect for the contradictions. 

We tend to forget that a relationship is not a battle to win or lose. It's something that empowers our inner souls through the lessons of empathy, understanding, and mutual admiration. 

On the contrary, we act like self-absorbed egoists and encourage negative feelings like fury and resentment toward them. Sadly, the emptiness crawls in when we refuse to speak up and communicate and we become tired of the person we love so dearly.

#2 Personal issues

This too, contributes enormously to reducing you to a cranky little woman with a sullen temperament toward her boyfriend. 

You may wonder about the way you cannot restrain the lousiness boiling within you against the man you once adored. 

But human psychology is a far more complex labyrinth than you perceive. It is affected by innumerable forces, and among them is a prolonged sickness that might tear you up from the inside and use up your frisky spirit. 

Physical fitness adds to the emotional well-being of an individual. If it is disrupted by frequent ailments and infirmities, we lose the energy and become easily unsettled over a trifle. 

What happens next is we choose the closest one to burst out the displeasure. So, it is a possibility that if you have a history of physical illness, you can be one of the bad-tempered women who can never be happy with their boyfriends.

Secondly, excessive stress can wear you down physically and mentally. It can also increase several health implications, such as insomnia, fatigue, and panic attacks. 

Perhaps you have a draining phase in your professional life that’s causing you to fuss over things that hold no importance. You struggle to sleep at night, which leads to irritability and peevishness. 

And when you see your partner going around with a casual approach or repeating his same old habits, it drives you up the wall and aggravates your sulkiness.

While discussing personal struggles, I must not forget to mention depression and anxiety that have a mammoth part to play in creating unnecessary vexation in you against your boyfriend. 

It is a mental disorder where you grow pessimistic thoughts about everything and probably think life is not worth living. It changes your behavior from gentle to outrageous, and you get upset over minor inconveniences caused by people who are near you. 

Let me tell you that most of the time, this depression period lasts for quite a long time and takes the form of severe mental agitation that can affect your relationships. 

Therefore, before it is too late, you need to check in on your emotional doldrums in order to protect your personal life from going to pieces.

#3 Additional issues

Some additional issues, too, can be lurking behind the drastic change in your approach to your companion. It can be a revelation of a truth about your partner that proves to be a massive blow to the trust and respect you both have earned through all the time you have been together. A simple lie can shake the long-earned foundation of faith in a relationship, I agree. 

Everybody can go through a similar period when they come to know about their partner’s romantic interest in someone else but cannot confront them straight out. 

They suffer in isolation, seeing their future coming to naught. Yet they can barely speak a word. Their frozen soul refuses to love the one who used to be the textbook example of an ideal lover. 

This is where they start sulking and grappling to put up with the sight of their partners. What they see in them is the image of an imposter who has squeezed them hollow. In turn, they cannot help feeling sickened to be around the very person.

I know that it takes everything to feel the same way about your boyfriend if he has been the one to cheat you and hide facts about a recent hook-up. But expressing your annoyance won't do any better, either. 

Remember that it is your life, and you are in the front seat to create happiness. You owe nothing to a person who dares to play with your emotions, so take a stand for everything you deserve, even if it means parting with the one you have come along with so far.

Finding a solution

Annoyance is a state of emotion that exists like the other abstract feelings of ours. But, if it persists and bugs you perpetually, it needs a solution. Now that you have identified the possible triggers for fuming your wrath, take a step forward to fix things for once and all. 

Strike up a peaceful conversation with your boyfriend for communicating your recent mood fluctuations and lack of patience toward him. 

• Specify the habits in him that seem to be most annoying to you in certain situations. Help him understand that you need him by your side. 
• For that, talk to him in a favorable ambiance that allows you both to realize the importance of open dialogues and, most importantly, how priceless your relationship is. 
• Give him the honest truths, even the ugly bits, to pinpoint areas that require improvement. 
• Come to a middle path where you both can actively take part in rekindling the old shine by splitting responsibilities and taking turns to perform household chores.  
• Listening is a pivotal part of healthy communication. So, tune in to what he has to say to justify or admit his actions.
• Allow your anger to subside before you sit for a genuine discussion.

Along with communication, you must give yourself time to initiate self-reflection. Take a step back here and process your emotions to reason your thoughts. Introspection will help you in

• Recognizing the roots of the pet peeves.
• Delving deeper into the blocks that were pushed shut for ages.
• Questioning your own actions and asking whether you are overthinking or reacting to the wrong person.
• Evaluating your behavior, attitudes, and expectations,
• Strengthening your willpower to communicate internally.

In the most challenging and trickiest situations, you can always go for therapy and take professional help, having none to discuss your niggles with. A talk therapy is recommended for all those who may suffer from emotional fiasco and fail to open up in front of their friends and loved ones. So, if you find yourself losing sight of the sunshine of hope, an expert therapist might be the one you need at the hour because 

• They will create a neutral space to give you deeper insight into your emotions, triggers, and pain points.
• You will learn to deal with conflicts and disagreements through constructive tools and techniques.
• You won’t have to worry about privacy in your personal life as they are strictly professional about the confidentiality of their clients.
• The therapist will show you the right choice to make for the sake of individual and relational growth.
• They will reassure you that you are not the only one suffering from irritability toward their partners.

Focusing on the bright side

The final words take you down to some basic food for thought. A perfect relationship exists in a utopian world. Lifelong commitment doesn't come with love, laughter and happy cuddles on Sunday evenings, or making breakfast and eating together in a clean and tidy room.

True relationships are all about accepting the worst and appreciating the best in each other. It's about a few harsh words, slammed doors, and finally healing together. 

Yes, my dear, it's all about never calling it quits and realizing that no one is beyond follies, and coming back to the same person everyday to love them in spite of and because of who they are.

We call it love because it teaches us to stay happy with the unmade beds, dirty dishes, nasty fights, stubborn disagreements but lastly the comfort of being loved, valued and looked after with the most caring way just like the very first day we fell in love. 

That's how things are, sweetheart, and that's how you should take them. Remember the right ones that drew you near in the first place, and you would master the art of staying happy, staying in love forever.

Tips

Here are the tips and tricks you can quickly throw a glance at: 

• Communication is the most convenient and effective means to revive the positive feeling and restart the relationship. Be mindful of sounding calm and assertive, without blaming your partner.

• You need to highlight and reach the origins of the annoyance. There could be personal and other individual stress  that might have poked you and turned you against your boyfriend

• Don't forget that to err is human and so it's not abnormal for your partner to make mistakes. Accept them with a less judgemental approach and acknowledge the brighter qualities in him.

• Work together on keeping up balance, trust, and empathy toward each other.

• Encourage shared times of positivity and transparency so that both of you can be comfortable being yourselves before each other and reassess your relationship with openness.