Should I Like My Ex’s Post? (Read This First)
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When it comes to talking about your ex, you cannot deny the good time you shared with them, nor is it an easy walk in the park to let go of the wonderful memories you have built together. With a breakup, you have to encounter a series of dilemmas that may put you in a confusing labyrinth.
To like or not to like, that is the question. Yes, that is the question you have to solve and answer when you see your ex's post, and all of a sudden your mind starts ruling your head. Look no further, because we have piled a bagful of do's and don'ts for you to follow.
So, hold your horses and keep reading the article to find out the ultimate answer.
Possible interpretations when you like your ex's post
With the evolution of digital media, there is a radical change in the world of communication in terms of relationships. Therefore, by hitting one like, you could unlock Pandora's box of gains and losses. Before you make an impulsive move, come and explore the bigger picture.
#1 You are making a friendly move
Liking your ex's post has infinite interpretations. If you happen to be at a point where you take your breakup in an affable spirit, this may be a good sign to convey your empathetic approach. Being on the receiving end of a silent yet honest commitment to stay on good terms, your ex might take it as a reassuring gesture that you can truly bear no grievance against them.
The attempt to stay virtually connected with your ex, be it a casual one, is a welcoming thought. It implies that you want to keep it simple and without intentions that are objectionable. Reacting to their post may seem like one of the regular online activities that others do without much trouble. It ensures the innocence of your purpose to them and proves that there is no big deal in giving reactions to a social media post even if it comes from their ex.
This is a benign friendship that your ex might be hinted at while they receive notification of your recent likes on their posts. This relationship doesn't require a name or a lasting effect. It leads to no expectations, no demands, and no complaints. It has a relieving impact that your ex may feel comfortable with. A small like or a comment on the virtual platforms can be a gentle way to get over the bitterness it could have bred.
#2 You are seeking closure
There are chances that your ex could perceive a sense of unrest you must be going through when they see you engaged in virtual communication with them. If your relationship did not have a nice closure, it is a given that you might be seeking one.
The breakup has probably taken place like a sudden bombshell you were not prepared for. An explanation is the least you think you can ask for. You have been ghosted without prior knowledge and that might prick your composure since then. You were blocked and had no access to reach them. Now that you could see them on social media, it might seem like a tiny ray of hope to test the waters by liking their posts.
After months when you sit back at the idle hours, you may still go back to the last time you talked and try to size up the heaviness of the situation that finally resulted in the breakup. There could be a mistake or misdeed you feel you might have been sorry for. But that too is due for clarification which you hardly got a chance to have.
You were in a no-contact phase for a long time and could not meet your ex to apologize. Maybe, your ex knows this too, and understands the reason why you are pushing so hard to communicate online. They too might consciously unblock you to come to a resolution where the doubts would be cleared and both of you can be free to live your own life without the weight of any more guilt.
Related Read: My Ex Followed Me on Instagram; Should I Follow Back?
#3 You are trying to get back to them
Your reappearance on social media and active involvement in your ex's posts can be seen as your urge to reunite with them. They can misinterpret your virtual gestures as a purposeful act to catch their attention and initiate a talk. This is an obvious assumption from their side that you are looking for an apt prospect to rebuild the foundation of your broken relationship.
If they know that by the time they get to see you like their post, you have left no stone unturned to hear from them, this will be a sure thing to consider your actions to be another attempt for the same.
Like anyone else, they would believe that you are actually waiting for their slight encouragement or maybe something affirmative in accepting you as their old familiar mate. It could be a mixed signal that might bring them to make whatever guesses they want to. This could be misleading too if it kindles false hope in them, as they could possibly have that same residual emotion for you stored latent in them.
Unless you seriously want to make things happen this way, or you are truly apologetic and want to try afresh with the relationship, stop pouncing onto their social media posts.
This may cause two things.
- Firstly, it will give rise to further confusion and complication by creating unrealistic expectations in them.
- And secondly, it will make you look desperate and pesky for a comeback.
Try to measure the sensitive nature of the situation and give up any sort of unnecessary behavior that may prove unwise.
#4 You are playing mind games
A breakup can be consensual or one-sided. However, if it is not a decent one and either of you has dumped the other, you could be doubted as to play mind games with them by liking their content. They may find your very act of online reaction as a pre-calculated step to make some ripples in their mind. This could be also treated as a manipulative move to provoke them into a state of vulnerability.
On the ground of bearing no fine emotion for you, your ex might misread your ordinary action as the trickiest one to exploit their weakness. These hunches are justified from their end because there are people who indeed have evil motifs to juggle with their ex's soft spots. So, it's not surprising if they see your mode of communication as a well-planned strategy to mess with their feelings.
Considering the history of your relationship before the breakup and your past behavior, you may be misunderstood as a shrewd player who is liking their posts with an ill intention to stir up their old wounds.
Relationships are a gradual process that grows into a thriving shape after investing deep-rooted emotions in them. And when a breakup happens, it shakes away all our well-cherished faith and we start distrusting others. In such conditions, one like from our ex is strong enough to turn our world upside down. This may go with you as well when you creep through your ex's wall and press the like button. The worst part is, it affects the healing process the other one might be in. So misunderstandings are normal and your ex could take it as a work of manipulation that is deliberately done to interfere with a peaceful life they are trying to lead.
#5 You still care for them
You care for your ex and this is the likeliest of all interpretations when you show your interest in their posts. All the love once shared cannot evaporate with a split. Social media has been that one window you might find useful to indicate that you still care for them. If they notice that you have been a silent observer of their personal data shared online, they might take it as your means to support them even after the separation.
Like everyone, your ex may share their personal and professional accomplishments, special dates, and greater milestones on social media. These are the times they possibly take notice of your unspoken solidarity and equal happiness at their success. Their small achievements never escape your eyes and you don't fail to put a 'thumbs-up' on them. That doesn't always speak for your anticipation of any romantic involvement. This is a no-brainer for them to see your compassionate nature in seeing them in their best version.
As far as their well-being is concerned you have always been a faithful and distant benefactor who never seeks to serve an amorous purpose. Your caring yet harmless presence is what they feel at ease with and never find wrong. They would even appreciate the way you don't overdo it and stay within your boundaries. With every like, therefore, they would acknowledge the cordiality you have always maintained despite the breakup.
Every relationship has its positive sides and their recent posts might ring well to make you want to keep those safe and friendly connections with your ex. In this respect, both of you could be on the same page to believe in an agreeable connection to stay on.
Related Read: My Ex Watches My Stories Everyday
#6 You haven't moved on
Any mode of communication with your ex whether it is direct or not, is no short of exposing your vulnerable self to them. People often choose to feel self-important to satisfy their egos. So, this would be a great self-chosen way to see your digital inclination as your inability to move on in life without them.
Since your ex has spent years with you they know you closely and better than most other people. They can sense that it is your unintentional bent on revisiting the memories which are holding you back. You cannot take your life forward and lie stuck in the past hopelessly. You cannot avoid their post and stay hooked on their life's current course of events. Most importantly, you cannot disconnect yourself from anything they upload online.
If you are over-sentimental and soft-hearted, your ex might associate your reactions to their posts with your lily-livered nature and take the hint that you still cannot think of your life without them. Or, it may be your unconditional selfless love they know might dominate your actions.
When it's a serious breakup, remember it is pointless to linger on what is irreversible. By hitting likes, you are making yourself an easy meat. Your ex would take you for granted each time you make an unwarranted move. Don't forget that you are standing at a crossroads where you must be unyielding to impulses and take the best route. It will be challenging, but it will be worth the effort in the end.
Reasons why you SHOULD NOT like your ex's post
As the law of science tells us " every action has equal and opposite reactions", before following your ex's post and engaging in them, you need to have a clear understanding of its possible implications. There are repercussions you must stay prepared for once you socialize with them on an open online forum. Pause for a moment to give it a second thought and muse carefully on the reasons elaborated in the following section to avoid anything unpleasant.
#1 If it triggers your negative thoughts
You have to reevaluate your emotions that might be negatively fueled after having access to your ex's digital circle. You like their posts and that doesn't end the story there. You go on with the process and after a point feels weighed down with those unresolved things that reappear and ruin your mental health. A distraught mind is finally what you get as a painful gift from a seemingly non-dangerous act.
If you think that it is nothing to bother your calm, let me tell you, you are going to suffer with time and reach a place of no coming back. It's almost inviting all the tortuous thoughts and visions with open arms. It will arouse pangs of jealousy whenever you come across the subsequent posts of your ex. The images of their happy life, hang-outs, and fun moments with no sign of missing you would start eating you up bit by bit. You will probably end up comparing their life as displayed on social media with yours and feel lost and left out.
You may not realize it, but with one click of a like everything you walked past so far would come crowding along. The rumination of the past would be never-ending. When you will seek validation again and won't get a single drop of it from your ex, it would be frustrating and humiliating.
There are certain scars that should be best left in the hands of time. Time heals everything. But, you must not reopen those wounds by triggering them. And if the breakup was bad and tormenting, try not to get into anything that might upset you once again.
#2 If it impacts your new relationship
A big worry on your radar is if you are currently going along with someone else in a fresh engagement. It would be no less than an emotional affliction to them. Your current partner is likely to feel insecure when they would find out about your recent activities and virtual communication with your ex. They would certainly feel jealous to see you like their post without considering how he/she might be feeling or whether they would take it in the same light. Most importantly, they might feel skeptical about the true story cooking up between you and your ex behind their back.
You would carry on with liking your ex's post meanwhile your current partner would compare, begin to grow an inferiority complex, and will be down with losing self-esteem. And all this is because you cannot stay away from these silly acts of interacting with your ex.
Misunderstandings and fights will sprout in your new relationship as your loyalty and commitment would be called into question. Your ex doesn't hold more priority than your current mate who might be finding it extremely painful not to trust you despite their willingness.
Lose your grip on the past since it may demand you to compromise with your present. Maybe a word of reassurance and emotional exposure is what your new companion is asking from you. Let the worst pass to embrace the best. You cannot afford to part ways with the person who loves you and chooses you over everything, because of a time and people you have no control over. Your intention cannot be read as pure if you don't stop stalking or liking the shared content of your ex.
Stay true to yourself and your partner to save one more relationship from a filthy breakup.
#3 If it invites unnecessary public interest
Social media is a platform for open activities whether we accept it or not. Anything you do, or say will engage a thousand lot in a fraction of a minute. Whether you are having an actual connection with your ex or not would matter nothing if the people on the digital platforms get to notice your frequent likes on their posts. There will be more than one eager eye trying to follow and figure out the present status of your relationship. It takes a second to form a rumor and two to spread it thick and fast like an inferno. You hit one like to your ex's post now and the flame of rumors hits you back in the next moment.
A group of people are always there to use online platforms as the epicenter of gossip. They never miss out on anything spicy that could feed on their interest. Your online followers and friends might find a more interesting story to chat about over lunch or dinner as soon as they find you liking things your ex shares on their profile. Your jilted love story, bereavement, and renewed interest would soon be the talk of the town. They would assume, they would discuss and they would judge you with no lack of enthusiasm.
Your close ones added to your virtual world may call you around and inquire about the latest update on your relationship. This would be utterly awkward to face such confrontations and questions which might unsettle you.
Moreover, you may wait and watch that, with your like there is a stream of unwanted comments and shares creating a fuss over your interaction and a lousy drama you hardly had any idea about. Doing this would eventually spoil the image you have earned in the public forums and people will come up with unwarranted advice and suggestions. All this would make it impossible to maintain the line between your personal and public life interfering with the privacy you needed for yourself.
Hence, the next time you feel like reacting to your ex's content, ask yourself if you really deserve this shit happening around, and make your final move.
#4 If it affects your personal growth
The kind of communication you are making on a common platform with your ex is a visible obstacle to your personal growth. It simply keeps you emotionally involved with them. The mental attachment persists and slows down the healing process as long as you remain psychologically invested in them. You have been trying to get over a breakup and so it's high time you step out to new possibilities. But this thin cord of connection keeps you stagnant in your past and pushes you off the present.
If you cannot cut yourself off from anything that reminds you of your ex, it means you would unknowingly discard the changes you should embrace and refuse to focus on unfolding the better views of life.
There are also other negative consequences that follow. Your constant obsession would refrain you from detaching yourself from the familiar face of your ex which would serve no good in the current state of circumstances. Hardly would you get the chance or develop a mindset to strive for other pursuits or goals. Bitter would be the fruits of your vain efforts to linger on your ex's life at the cost of your precious time, energy, and sentiments.
No one dies of a breakup and everyone at some point in life has to survive them in their own way. You would not possibly overcome the phase without a painful struggle but accept the reality however hard it seems to be. Life will go on and so must you. Explore new habits, explore opportunities, and don't approve of anything that prevents your progress. Quit your ex, because life is coming your way for living it off with better people.
In spite of all the above-mentioned reasons, there are different other factors that one may find favorable to making a connection to their ex on the surface.
You can like your ex's post WHEN
#1 You have no harsh feelings against each other
You might have heard of couples who bear no harsh feelings or grudges against each other even after their breakup. If your breakup didn't come after a bunch of toxic moments, abusive incidents, or examples of infidelity, there must be some unavoidable obligations that had landed you breaking up with each other.
What matters now is you don't end up hating each other. Both of you have somehow managed to stay without the other. This is a fact you can stay comfortable with for the rest of your life because the mutual respect hasn't thinned out. There is no snide comment, no blame game, no cheesy mudslinging as the immediate offspring of your split.
This is a two-sided story where you have an unstated understanding to honor your ex-partners. If you ever make a virtual connection with them, that would be perfectly fine because this is a state of peaceful exchange both of you have agreed upon.
With time people learn to reflect on their mistakes and the possible compulsion of their partners that led to a breakup, and the traces of the past chip away piecemeal.
However, you ought to be extra cautious while reaching your ex through social media because not everything they post would be pleasing enough to react instantly. Be careful of any sort of overindulgence to avoid further bitterness.
#2 Your relationship had an amicable end
A breakup does not invariably break all the ties you can keep with your ex. You had an emotional engagement with them which had taught you a lot about life. The memories are not all bad. If they had never been unfriendly or uncouth to you, there is not much that a mere 'like' can turn around.
It's sometimes the friendship you might miss, not the passionate version, which can keep things rolling in a not-so-complicated way. An amicable parting leaves a healthy impression of the time you had with your ex.
Maybe you two have concluded that you can't be the best fit as lovers and decided on staying as benevolent peers. Keeping the friendship alive is about knowing each other's characters rather than falling for them. So, despite the fact that some of your feelings have been hurt, you can be liberal in sharing good terms, without going back to the sore spot.
#3 You have moved on
Dealing with a breakup is challenging, but once you pull it off well, you have a metamorphosis of your own self. The obnoxious things get blurred out and you move on with someone who could make your life worth loving and worth living.
Imagine yourself seeing posts of your ex with someone else and feeling nothing about it. Trust me, you have made it. Indeed, you have reached the stage where your ex is none but a regular person who demands nothing of your attention.
It is sometimes the time that acts as the best healer. If several years have passed in between and you have seen life taking stranger turns, you would no longer have that impulse to cling on to the long-drawn past. Your breakup would stay as a lesson and a small part of your life. It will hardly make a difference if you like their posts on online forums simply as an appreciative reaction to them.
#4 You have forgotten and forgiven
The hurtful incidents of the past are aching and corrosive. It's hard to forget them. People suffer a lot to leave those emotional bruises behind. But once you get the realization that we are all humans and we all say things that may hurt others, it becomes less draining to forget them. Forgetting the unwanted part of your life brings solace and you can live a happy life, devoid of a burden you were pulling hard to bring down so far. You forget your ex and their misdeeds, it will be the best way you can help yourself.
It will be relevant to mention the virtue of forgiveness here. Forgiving people who have caused you pain or wronged you badly is a quality that helps you to restore the lost charm of life. It will provide the balance, the comfort you need to secure for your own good. The quality of forgiveness requires immense strength of mind and is a sign of maturity you might have gained along the years.
When you are sure that you have forgotten and forgiven your ex and lived it down, liking their post will be among other simple things that need no special importance, though it doesn't ask you to give them a second chance. It simply highlights your emotional growth.
#5 You want to avoid awkwardness
You are an intelligent one to foresee the post-breakup conditions. Sharing a common digital space has pros and cons. Your social media account will showcase the photos and memories you have been tagged with by your ex, or there might be people who share them, not knowing the uneasiness it may create. If you want to avoid such embarrassing moments, you can go with being in a sociable connection with your ex by liking their posts.
This will be wise not to shut down yourself altogether from your ex-partner and to go on with a formal relationship with them. It's because you may work in the same office or live in the same neighborhood or be a member of the same club where you are supposed to organize things together or lead a team with mutual coordination. It will be extremely weird to behave like strangers in front of others or in a position where your joint work is expected. Liking their posts will be a good start to break this awkward silence.
There can be social gatherings or situations that are unavoidable since you may be sharing a common group of friends and can't help meeting each other. Considering all these inevitable surroundings, it will be safe to interact through their social media posts to evade the discomfort.
Pro Tips:
Get a quick look at the simple tips before you like your ex's post
- Think before you leap. Reconsider your real intention behind liking your ex's posts. Don't go further if your intentions are not pure and you are being over-expectant.
- Focus on your overall well-being and avoid staying in touch with them if their posts bring back memories and make you keyed up.
- Stay away from virtual connections if it is affecting your present relationship. Consider your companion's feelings about your interaction with the ex and put an immediate stop if that hurts them.
- Be realistic, and respectful of your ex-partner's privacy and follow the boundaries so as not to cause further complications.
- Remember that your likes may look like your urge to rebuild the relationship. Watch your actions to avoid misinterpretations.
- Learn to move forward and let the past fade into the background. Pay attention to your goals and choose to shine on.