My Girlfriend Has an OnlyFans (Reason & What to Do)
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It can unbearably make you very uncomfortable when you discover that your girlfriend has an OnlyFans account and you might wonder the purpose and extent to which she uses it.
This is a curious case that will set all kinds of questions in your mind and leave you with mixed feelings for her.
A little disheartened and low, you might use harsh words against your girlfriend rather than allow her an opportunity to justify herself. Remember, even a criminal gets his chance to prove himself non-guilty. Hence, if you are going through any such crisis, don't lament.
We have come to your rescue and in this blog post, I'll help you figure out the possible reasons and the reasonable outcomes to culminate this situation.
Continue reading below to know more.
Reasons why your girlfriend has an OnlyFans
It is her choice of career or her way of making some cash. She sees no harm in sharing pictures to help someone overcome their needs. Moreover, she is aware that she might never meet her fans in person, so she doesn’t care enough.
However, there can be more to this seemingly linear version. To discover them, continue reading below.
#1 She is confident about her body
For a girl to be on an extrinsic platform as a subscriber or user such as OnlyFans, she will have to be radiantly confident under her skin. Her eyes and body language should be enough to dominate a person. She is a seductress, and her charm doesn’t fail to work on any.
Think about the first time you met her. Try to recall the scenario, the state, her clothes, and your ice-breaking conversation. It won’t be too difficult to remember, right? That is because she leaves a marked impression on people.
Now think about the qualities that attracted you to her. If it was something unusual, not just her figure but something about her nature, she might have been fascinated by the idea that someone looked at her in a different limelight. Why else would she have selected you over everyone else when she has such a strong fan base?
You cannot get partial and mean here. You need to think from her angle simultaneously. It is as big a decision for her as it is for you. You don’t have to jump to conclusions because you can take it one step at a time.
There is always scope for improvement, more so when you have earnest intentions. You cannot be desperate and too occupied with the result because it is the journey that matters. If you find the experience of being with her enriching, other things can be modulated. It is all a matter of wanting to put in the effort and taking the first step on the road to redemption.
#2 She is an artist
Not everyone on OnlyFans is an explicit worker, and even if your girlfriend is, there can be more than one angle to it. She might be dealing with specified products and services which is more artistic in representation.
Do not make assumptions until you see it with your eyes. See the products and services that your girlfriend deals with and ask her to enlighten you more on the range of services and the extent of personalization that she offers from her end.
If possible, tell her to show you some of the exchanges that have taken place between her and the interested party. It will keep things transparent between you. But do this at your own risk. Because once you learn it, there is no unlearning it, and you might not like all that you discover.
Try to remember that she is catering to customers’ requests and needs. You cannot view these from the lens of a greedy or possessive boyfriend. You will have to widen your scope before that. But you can always find a fix to every problem if you want to.
She might be unwilling to give up everything that she has worked for or is passionate about at once. But if you help her through it by suggesting an alternative forum that can expand the horizon and give her creative outlets that will bring her fame and wealth simultaneously, she will go for it.
One such forum can be writing. Instead of the current choice of occupation, she can talk about her experience and her struggle. As she already has a set fan base, selling books won’t be difficult even if she doesn’t find a reader in the fan followers, the media will tail the gossip and make her popular. Remember, giving up on a person or thing is very easy. What takes guts is to stick by and make it work.
#3 She likes to make money
The head and tail of it is that she likes to make money. And this is either easy money or she is high-maintenance. The choice is out of something that she loves doing. You cannot ask her to choose between her passion and you, that would be selfish. However, if you could come up with better alternatives that will help her strike a fine balance between the two, it will work.
This could be a big-time brainstorming process but you will discover many ways to find a way around it. You could help her to pursue painting where she can work on self-portraits or the portrayal of feminine attributes in clay sculptures or such.
An artistic bend to such creations bags a large amount of money. Moreover, since she is already halfway into it, a deeper dive will be harmless. You can be the patron in her life and make her freelancing offers. You could be her advisor, agent, or counselor, whichever suits you.
You could also be her sugar daddy if you like it and if you feel that the woman will be fine as long as she is well provided for. It is both a personal choice to make and a mutual decision that you must come to.
#4 She is a social influencer
If your girlfriend is a social influencer, it makes sense to give a kickstart to her career in alleviating to greater heights and achieving many milestones at once. We all reach a level in our career where the graph becomes a plateau, it is stuck and linear, and you can well anticipate that if you don’t do something urgently about it, the result will be a bang and a downfall.
When your girlfriend saw herself at such a point, she thought of taking a chance with this platform and it rewarded her well. She kept achieving things in the public domain, earning much fame. Perhaps you are not very aware of it because you are not very engaged on such platforms.
Another worrying thought here is the embarrassment that you will have to go through if one of your girlfriend’s fans turns out to be your friend or kin. You will have no choice but to laugh off the matter.
Think of celebrities in this context. They pose in bikinis and do steaming scenes in movies, they have a life and a partner too. Their profession doesn’t discount their personal life.
They make it a point to draw a line in between.
Many celebrities prefer not to talk about their work with their partner. When you are making a livelihood and trying to get somewhere in a more personal domain, you will have to keep a higher range of understanding and a wider scope of arrangements to make space for the special ones. Specialty comes with a price but the experience together will be banging and worthy, pun intended.
#5 She likes the attention
You might be dating someone who enjoys attention. She relishes the gaze because it makes her feel, figuratively speaking, the elephant in the room. She finds that getting her work done first becomes easier and tactful for her.
If you face such a challenge or difficulty with your girlfriend, there could be different dynamics to it. You need to have a thoughtful conversation with her so that you understand if, in the long run, you will be able to keep up with her demands.
It is important to feel satisfied in a relationship lest it leads to many difficult encounters. A needy person will always look for upliftment and support. Even when independent, she will act as a climber, calling out for help.
#6 It's her choice of career
The end word is that your girlfriend has made her choice of career and it will not be easy to convince her to switch or give up on it. She has toiled hard for it and the nature of work doesn’t hold as much importance here.
Hence, if you impatiently or stubbornly decide to make your girlfriend leave her work for the sake of your relationship and company, she might as well decide to break apart from you. The first quality that is desirable in a partner is understanding, the second is support, the third is respect, and then begins the tale of love.
Attraction is merely an impulse that can be overcome by an invasion of another or by reality checks. But a balanced combination of the elements that I have mentioned above will be well-rooted and difficult to shake.
#7 You are subscribed to OnlyFans
If you are an OnlyFans user, your girlfriend might have gone active on the platform to retaliate against you. She is taking revenge to teach you a lesson and it can be called justified. If you arguably tried to defend your point and membership in terms of virtual reality and not a real-time engagement of factors, your girlfriend will defend her reaction on the same factors.
You will find yourself helpless in this situation. Hence, the saying goes, you reap what you sow. In reciprocation, if you have a better understanding of your mistakes, accept and apologize before it is too late. If your girlfriend once develops a hang for such things, it will be very difficult to bring her back into the world of laymen.
What to do when your girlfriend has an OnlyFans?
You need to talk to her about your feelings. You also need to listen to her patiently and with the intent to understand. If you go on making your points without empathetically acknowledging her challenges, you shall fail her.
Read below to find out more.
#1 Ask her for detailed information
There is no harm in asking her about specific details as long as you do it more respectfully. The approach shouldn't be that it makes her feel that she owes the answers to you. That would create confusion and misunderstanding.
You should at first make a list of questions that you would want to put before her, and then work on the means and ends of mellowing down your words and modulating your tone.
Some basic questions that you may ask to seek clarity are listed below.
- Since how long has she been using this platform
- Why did she not take you in confidence
- What would she have done if she were in your shoes
- How does she plan to keep a balance between her personal life and professional space
- In the future, if there occurs a situation when she needs to choose any one of the two spaces, what will be her preference
Answering these questions will prepare you for your future. You will be able to work on both short-term and long-term goals this way.
Moreover, this will also bring clarity to your girlfriend. She will become more thoughtful in her words and actions. It will bring a direction to both of you.
#2 Express your viewpoint
Keeping quiet about a matter that irks you will never magically solve the problem. You cannot give way to anger either as that will only make things worse.
You should instead be able to express your sentiments in a manner that shows that you are trying to reach out to her. It should be evident that you don't want to abandon her. All that you are trying to do is to find out ways to make the relationship work.
Hence, select your words wisely. Not for once should she feel that you look down on her. Be respectful and empathetic. If you feel that she might have a personality disorder, take her to a counselor.
#3 Understand what you want
Understanding your needs and requirements, priorities, the scale of compromise, the extent of involvement in your partner’s life, and more will help you know and state your limits. You can ask her to do the same.
Both of you can prepare tableaux where you recognize the basis of distinction or the factors that might have an undermining or overwhelming effect on your relationship. This in turn will help you to figure out the remedies.
It will be an open-hearted discussion, where you are not afraid to state and to take help to overcome your shortcomings. This will show you as a player with leadership qualities, who doesn’t think of flying away at the earliest opportunity that he gets in hand. Your motto should be to stand and fight for what is right.
#4 Unsubscribe from OnlyFans
If the root problem of the problem in hand or of the change in your girlfriend’s behavior is your subscription to OnlyFans due to which she has registered herself to it, why not apologize for your insensitivity and unsubscribe from the platform? Jealousy will be found in every relationship. How you tackle the situation without letting it consume you is the way to go ahead in life.
She will be aware that you have paid a certain membership amount yet you are ready to make the compromise. This would mean that you prioritize the relationship more than anything. She will appreciate that and though she might not give you an immediate desired reaction (to test you), she will come around way sooner than your expectations.
#5 Break up if it takes a mental toll
If your girlfriend and her behavior or your obsession over her is causing you great distress, it is time to call it off. Some actions and certain words trigger us terribly. This calls for the necessity of ground rules in a relationship.
The rules can be declared or undeclared, depending upon your understanding, however, once it is broken, there is no undoing, modulating, or going back. Such is the cost you must bear when you invest yourself meaningfully because the intent is to make things sumptuous and wholesome. It cannot happen with partial participation.
Tips & life-hacks
- The world of capitalism has exploited men and women horrendously. We don’t even realize when we become a victim and products of the trade. Such sites such as OnlyFans take the whole marketing to the next level where many people fail to bifurcate individual appreciation and social manifestation. Don’t let it make a fool out of you easily.
- Not every situation in life can be handled with fight or flight. Sometimes bearing patience and giving regard to the other person’s feelings by taking slow steps toward them in a thoughtful manner is the best thing to do.
- The clarity in a relationship is important. Everything comes with the terms and conditions attached. When you have clarity, you will not be misled by social influence easily. Similarly, trust is the core of a relationship. When making big decisions, learn to involve your partner in the decision-making process.
- Everything is temporary, the way you make a person feel is permanent. Even if you split your ways in the long run, you will stand up as a great example before their eyes when they talk about harboring certain qualities. Be kind, empathetic, and humane.