Why Does My Boyfriend’s Phone Go Straight to Voicemail? (+Solutions)
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You call someone when you have to say something. It is as clear as daylight. You have information to pass on and for that, the person who receives the call needs to pick up the phone.
The call goes to voicemail when they do not pick it up. That is what is happening in your relationship. That is why you are here looking for answers. Your boyfriend never picks up the phone when you call him. His phone always goes to the voicemail.
This phenomenon can get quite infuriating after a point of time. But before you get more annoyed about the situation, you should attempt to understand his circumstances.
Try to find out why he does what he does. That will help you deal with the situation in a more efficient manner.
There are so many reasons responsible for the problems you are facing. Your boyfriend may be part of a workforce that needs his undivided attention more than anything. His job might demand him to stay alert at all times.
It can also be that he frequently finds himself in situations where he can’t answer calls from anyone. This can happen when he is poor at navigation and often ends up in places with bad cell connectivity. He can also be a traveler who likes to explore all the roads not taken. The roads often take him to places that have no network.
Well then, can you totally rule out the possibility of him being dishonest with you?
No, you can’t.
You will have to know why his phone goes straight to the voicemail to know his intention. Based on that knowledge, you will be able to take measures to deal with the situation.
In this blog post, I will help you delve into his mind to know more about his behavior. I have curated a list of possible reasons followed by their probable solutions. Read on.
Reasons why your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to the voicemail
As we have discussed earlier, your boyfriend can have legitimate reasons for this behavior. He will not be able to pick up your calls (or anyone else’s as a matter of fact) if his job demands.
People in emergency services often have to face this problem. However, things are not always that easy and straightforward. Your boyfriend’s phone going straight to voicemail can also mean he is cheating on you, or worse, he is in danger.
Let’s find out more about the reasons behind his actions in detail. Keep scrolling.
#1 He was not available to take the call
Your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to voicemail because he is often not available to take the call. This is quite a normal scenario. The same may happen to you too.
I know, it is frustrating when someone does not pick up your phone (especially when you have something urgent to know or convey). However, there are so many reasons that keep a person from picking up their phone at the right moment.
Here is a list of such reasons that you can go through.
- He enabled the “Do Not Disturb” mode – Your boyfriend was not available to take your call because he activated the “Do Not Disturb” mode on his phone. The Don’t Disturb mode automatically sends incoming calls to voicemail when the user of the phone is busy.
As the name of the enabled mode suggests, it is activated when a person doesn’t want to be disturbed. Your boyfriend is probably busy with something more important than attending phone calls. He will be available once his job is done. Till then, he wants no distraction in the form of calls from people (known or unknown).
Phone calls often distract one from jobs that require concentration. Think about your own experiences and you will understand his problem. Ideally, there is nothing to worry about in this scenario.
- He was out of network range – Phone calls to your boyfriend can end up in voicemail when his phone is out of network coverage area. Some places on Earth still retain their ancientness due to the lack of network coverage.
Places like these are often found in the middle of nowhere. This phenomenon mostly occurs in places like dense forests, high mountains, secluded stretches on highways, the middle of the ocean, and deserts to name some.
Your boyfriend is probably passing through such an area. He will contact you once he receives the network on his phone. You will have to be a little patient until then.
- He simply forgot to get his phone out of “Silent” mode – Now, this has happened to all of us at some point in our lives. I have no shame in admitting that it happens to me every day. The phone call you made to your boyfriend went straight to voicemail because he simply forgot to deactivate the “Silent” mode.
We often put our phone on “Silent” when we are doing things that us to be quiet. The truth about our times is that our phones make more noise than we do. So that is what we need to control to maintain silence.
A person may be required to put their phones on “Silent” mode in theatres, conferences, interviews, and many other places that need one to listen and concentrate. Your boyfriend was probably in such a situation, but he forgot to turn up the volumes on his phone, and that resulted in the scenario we are discussing.
This is a harmless little mistake. However, if he makes this mistake very often, there is a chance of him having memory issues or mental health issues. That is a matter of concern.
- He left his phone somewhere else – This too, is an honest mistake. Your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to voicemail because he often leaves his phone somewhere else and forgets about it. People with a lot of work pressure often face this problem.
Your boyfriend leaves his phone in places so far away that can can’t hear it ringing. This can lead to serious problems like losing his phone or damaging it inadvertently. He needs to sort his life as soon as he can.
Mental health issues often make us forgetful (and being forgetful only adds to our already existing problems). We often tend to lose our things by forgetting where we kept them while we are too anxious or too depressed to function. Getting engrossed in our mental health problems can mess with our memory. This is quite a common phenomenon in today’s world.
- His phone was malfunctioning – Your calls went straight to voicemail because your boyfriend’s phone was malfunctioning. This isn’t his fault. There is nothing much to be done if a phone malfunctions.
The situation could be such that he will watch you calling him but he will not be able to receive it because the malfunctioning phone will not allow him to do so. This can be extremely frustrating
He probably needs to take his phone for repairs, or he can buy a new phone to avoid this from happening again. A phone can malfunction due to several reasons like:- If it falls into the water.
- If it falls on the ground from a high place.
- If the screen shatters.
- If it gets infected with malware.
- If it is old.
- His phone battery drained – This, too, is a common problem in everyone’s life. Your boyfriend’s phone went straight to voicemail because the phone’s battery drained and it switched off on its own. A phone with an exhausted battery is as useless as a solitary piece of brick inside an office bag. This can happen due to several reasons:
- His phone is old, and it is losing its old battery backup.
- He had to use his phone for too long without charging it.
- He forgot to charge his phone.
- He left his phone’s charger at home.
- He is in a place where there is no place to charge his phone.
#2 He is not well
Your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to voicemail because he has not been well. He is probably going through immense hardships. He is not being able to receive phone calls at the moment, and as a result, the calls are aiming straight for the voicemail. His ailment can be mental or physical (or both). Right now, he needs a lot of love and care to recover.
What is wrong with him?
Well, here are two possible reasons to explore.
- He could be hurt – Getting hurt is a pretty common form of ailment. The fact that he is not being able to receive your call proves that the problem is serious. He might have been involved in an accident and is in no way capable of using a phone right now. He could be at the hospital, getting treated for something severe.
He could also get hurt while doing everyday chores at home. That is particularly dangerous (especially if he lives alone) because nobody will be there to help him out or take him to the hospital. He is unable to use his phone which means he will not be able to help himself in this situation of crisis. In simpler words, he is in danger. Injuries like the following can cause a situation like this:
- Multiple fractures (can render a person immobile)
- Deep cuts (can cause severe blood loss)
- Burns (can cause excruciating pain that often becomes unbearable)
- Head injury (can lead to loss of consciousness)
- He could be sick – Your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to voicemail because he is sick. Certain illnesses can make people so weak that it becomes impossible for them to even get up and do basic things.
Your boyfriend's ill health is not allowing him to receive phone calls. This issue with phone calls may occur particularly in case of throat or tooth ailments. Headaches may also cause him to stop talking for a while. He probably needs immediate medical attention.
- He could be depressed – Calls to your boyfriend can end up in voicemail if he is going to depression. Depression can slow down a person's life to great extents, and it occurs due to a plethora of reasons. This condition can be temporary or chronic depending on the type of that is bugging him.
Clinical depression can sometimes render people physically immobile (just like in cases of physical illness). That is because in situations like this people often lose the will to perform daily activities (like even getting out of bed). It can even take away a person’s will to speak (even to their favorite people).
This is probably what your boyfriend is going through. The situation calls for expert help (or medical attention in some cases).
#3 He works in emergency services
Your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to voicemail because he is mostly not in a situation to take calls. This can happen for a number of reasons, one of them being the nature of his job.
This situation can occur if your boyfriend is in the emergency services. People who are a part of this workforce often have to take care of situations that demand their undivided attention. Taking calls from friends and family is physically impossible in most of these situations.
People who work in jobs like these often have to deal with public interests (mostly their problems and complaints). Most of their jobs depend on how they perform in these situations. Therefore, they have no option other than being serious about their jobs. Speaking on their phones with jeopardize their integrity at the workplace. It will look bad if they are caught using their phone too much during work hours.
Employees of the police force or the military, medical professionals, and people who work at the fire department are often required to deal with life-and-death situations. Their job is to save and protect people. Jobs like these need a person to be determined about what they are doing. They often have to ensure that nothing can go wrong. One wrong step on their part can be disastrous and can cost lives.
Therefore, in this case, it is okay when your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to voicemail. He will call you once he is done with the emergency. Not receiving your call does not mean he is not in love with you. Stop worrying about this issue. He is not going anywhere.
#4 He is in danger
Your boyfriend’s phone could go straight to voicemail if he is in danger. Danger can occur in many forms. Whenever we think of danger, we think of a very physical one like an injury or an attack inflicted on us. We tend to overlook the ones that come disguised as family emergencies or as friends in tricky situations.
Humans are social animals. They often seek help from friends and family in times of need. Just as you await their help in your time of need, your friends and family, too, think about you when they are facing a problem. It is a normal characteristic of the society we live in.
Your boyfriend may not take your call (or anyone else’s call) when he is in danger or is busy helping his kin in danger. Taking calls can push him further into the problem. Worrying about your boyfriend’s lack of availability to take your calls won’t help you here.
Let’s discuss two common scenarios that involve danger as we are discussing. These situations may need him to shift his focus away from his phone for some time.
- He could be in a life-threatening situation – Your boyfriend missed your calls and they went to his voicemail because he is in a life-threatening situation. Before proceeding further at this point let’s find out more about such dangers.
What are life-threatening situations?
Well, as the name suggests, they are situations that bring us face-to-face with death ─ something that endangers our lives. Failing to take calls in such situations is normal. If the danger is real, your boyfriend may not be in a state to take a phone in his hand. As a crude example, you can think of any survival movie. How many times did you find the protagonist speaking over the phone in the movie Crawl or in The Descent?
Danger does not let us live our lives the way we are used to. It takes us out of our comfort zone. It creates inconveniences for us and throws several problems our way to solve.
Speaking to our loved ones on the phone is something we are used to ─ something we love. Imminent danger takes that away from us. Not taking someone’s calls for a long time without an explanation (not even a little text) can cause misunderstandings. A similar misunderstanding brought you here to look for answers.
- He could have a family or friend-related emergency – Danger is not always life-threatening. It can come as a family problem. He is not being able to receive your calls probably because someone in his family has fallen sick or met with an accident, and he has to attend to that issue as a priority.
Like most other people (including you), your boyfriend loves his family. He prioritizes them. The fact that he is standing beside them in their time of need proves this point. He is serious about the issue and that is why he is not thinking about his phone right now. He has probably left it somewhere else.
A problem in the family brings in a lot of stress and anxiety. It may not always be a physical one. Danger can also come disguised as a friend or family member being wrongfully accused of a felony they have not committed. Situations like these often require a person to focus on the remedial measures.
It is okay for you to be worried about this issue. However, before getting annoyed think about what he would do for you if you face a similar danger someday. As his personality suggests, he will probably move mountains to help you out, and that is something positive you derive from this bleak situation.
#5 He is cheating on you
Your calls can reach his voicemail if your boyfriend is cheating on you. People who cheat in relationships, often suffer from subconscious guilt. The fact that your boyfriend is not taking calls or probably has put his phone on flight mode proves that he feels guilty about what he is doing. He does not want you to what he is up to.
He knows you and therefore, knows that you will probably find out his secret once he receives your call. This happens when two people in a relationship know each other like the palms of their hands. His wavering voice or unusual use of language might act as his tell for your keen observation, in this situation.
He does not want to let you into the moment in any form. His anxiety makes him dodge his calls. He will probably receive someone else’s call. Try texting him and you will get a reply hours later when he is done cheating on you. What he is doing is common human behavior. He wants nothing to do with you while he is doing something wrong. He is not an ace offender and situations like these often make him nervous.
Is cheating always about sleeping with another person?
Well, the answer is “no.”
He can cheat on you by doing something you do not like, or something that is inherently dishonest.
Let’s say, he is on a weight-loss journey. He has to maintain a disciplined schedule of working out and eating all the right things at the right time. You are the person who looks after his schedule (as a well-wisher, and definitely not in a dictating manner). Most people on this planet love to eat food and live a sedentary life. If your boyfriend is one such person, he may eventually grow tired of his strict diet and exercise routine. That is a juncture where he might get dishonest with you.
He will start lying about where he goes and what he does. On checking you might find him not going to the gym. You may even find food wrappers inside his bag or under his bed. He is not cheating on you by the conventional meaning of the word, but what he is doing will require him to hide his actions from you.
That is when he will stop taking your calls for long hours (hours he is supposed to be working out), or while eating unhealthy food. He will even try his best to hide his phone from you. He will do that because he is scared of you (which is a classic sign of a relationship getting toxic).
The point here is, that your boyfriend does not just have to fornicate with another person to cheat on you, or to keep himself from taking your calls so that they go to his voicemail. There can be several other reasons for what you are facing in your relationship. The job is to find out the truth.
#6 He is mad at you
Your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to voicemail because he is mad at you. That may happen when you have offended him in some way (directly or indirectly). He does not want to talk to you. He does not want to pick up your incessant number of calls either. He is feeling irritated by your actions and wants you to stay away from him for a while.
You two are going through a lover’s spat. A fight has taken place and you probably have something to do with it. You have said or done something to annoy him to the extent that he does not want to talk to you. He does not even want to listen to what you have to say in order to defend yourself.
He is trying to shut you out forcefully by restricting conversation. He is sending you to his voicemail so that you have no way to contact him directly. He does not want to hear your voice over the phone.
The situation you are in will make you want to call him multiple times right after the fight. You know and regret what you have done and now you want to make amends. The problem here is that he has shut all the ways for you to do that. You only have one option left and that involves visiting him in person. However, that may not be a possibility in a long-distance relationship.
A situation like this can also occur because of misunderstanding. He is mad at you for some reason unknown to you. That is why he is letting all your calls go to voicemail. You are getting annoyed because he is not taking your calls. This misunderstanding is only making the rift between you two wider with each passing moment.
All of this does not mean he is not in love with you anymore. It is okay to stay mad at a loved one for a while. He is demonstrating an emotion because he is comfortable doing that in front of you. Deep inside, he knows you will understand his anger. He will probably make up with you after a while (only after you apologize for what you have done).
Nevertheless, I do not want you to have false hope either. Some quarrels last for life. There is nothing you can do to mend certain gashes. If you have said something really offensive and regrettable to your boyfriend, you are probably in for heartbreak once he picks up the phone.
If you are unaware of his problem, you will probably get to know when he finally receives your call or calls you back. Not knowing why he is acting rude is extremely frustrating. You can only deal with it through conversation.
What to do when your boyfriend’s phone goes straight to the voicemail?
There are many ways to deal with the situation. Some will require you to be sensible, while some will need you to be strict. Your approach should entirely depend on the circumstances in which he failed to receive your call. Try to stay polite by avoiding unnecessary rudeness. There is quite a thin line between being stern and being rude.
If your boyfriend is wrong in any way, your polite yet stern approach will make him think about what he has done. Who knows, it might make him repent too. However, if you can’t deal with the problem without affecting your mental health in an adverse manner, you should consider taking a break. Some time away from this relationship will give you a bit of perspective, with clarity.
I have made a list of possible things you can do to deal with the issue. Scroll down to go through your options.
#1 Do not keep calling him incessantly
Calling him again and again won’t do any good when he is not taking your calls. You may end up irritating him that way. You can call him once or twice, or once every two hours. Send voice notes in the beginning, but stop sending them after four of them go unanswered. You will have to retain your patience in situations like this.
Instead of calling him again and again, you can text him. These are a few things you can type out.
- Are you all right? Why are you not taking my calls?
- I reckon you must be busy. Call me once you are free.
- Call me once you read this text. I am getting worried.
- Do you need me to come over?
#2 Check on him by visiting his place
When he has not received your calls for a long time and has exhausted your patience, you can pay him a visit if he stays in your city. Ring his doorbell and check on him. Tell him that you were worried. However, do not start the conversation by yelling at him as that may mess things up between you two. Here is what you can do.
- Confront him about his behavior – Sending someone’s calls (especially the ones from the partner) to voice mail is rude, and your boyfriend needs to hear that. This is the right time to do that. You have waited for a while, and you have tried calling him with futility. You have texted him multiple times over the hours. If none of that is working, you have the right to visit him and ask questions about his behavior.
Confront him by asking what is making him act like this. Tell him to give one good reason to keep you anxious like this. Mention that you have jobs other than worrying about him full-time. Chide him for what he has done and tell him he can’t treat you like this ever in future. You can even tell him that his actions are making you rethink this relationship.
Your confrontation should be such that it will make him start thinking about what he has done. Make him understand that it was rude to send you to voicemail over and over again. Tell him that he could have had a conversation with you (like any mature person) about his issues. Sending calls to voicemail was a juvenile act that was not expected from a man of his age.
The goal is to make him feel bad about his wrong actions. He should feel guilty about keeping you hanging in the voicemail. Dealing with one’s problems with precision is a necessary skill every adult should possess. He can’t project his issues towards you. You already have your own problems to deal with. This is something you should make him understand in the conversation you two have once you reach his home to pay a visit.
- Empathize if needed – While visiting your boyfriend to check on him, you might find him going through a tough time. You may find him fighting hardships. Situations like these would require you to put your complaints on hold. You will have to support him through the issues he is facing.
Comforting him and giving him a shoulder to cry on is necessary in this scenario. You will have to empathize with him if needed. Try to understand what he is going through by putting yourself in his shoes for once. Empathizing will need you to experience his experiences. You will have to get to the root of his problem to even discuss it.
He may not want to talk to you about everything that bothers him. He may not want to talk at all. In that case, it should be your goal to read his expressions. Try to coax him into talking to you about his problems. Create a safe space for him to talk. Make him believe that you are the right person to talk to. Assure him that you will understand his problems no matter what.
However, do not try to “solve” it if you do not know how to. That might make things worse for him, you, and as well as this relationship.
#3 Find out what is wrong
To solve the problem, we are discussing, you will need to find out what is wrong with him. He is behaving this way because something is definitely bugging him. Something is making him feel guilty or uncomfortable. He is probably not being able to face you.
Let’s find out more.
- Is he mad at you?
This is the most obvious one. You will know what conversation you had with him before this voicemail thing happened You will also know what you said to offend him to this extent. This is enough to infer that he is mad at you. However, it will not be possible for you to know if he is mad at you because of a misunderstanding.
Owning up to your mistake is the best way to deal with this. An unconditional apology and a proper conversation can go a long way. Drop a text to initiate that. He will get into a conversation if he truly cares about you. Try to be honest with your apology. Clever tricks to put yourself on the high horse won’t work here.
- Is he cheating on you?
Here are a few ways to find out whether he is cheating on you or not:- He acts weird when you two are together.
- He smiles at his phone for no reason.
- He talks about one particular friend weirdly and sensually.
- He often comes home late and makes up lies about it.
- He never wants to hang out with you anymore.
- He puts a lot of effort to hide his phone from you.
- Is he sad or depressed?
Sadness or depression often gets portrayed through the person’s lack of will to talk to people. Your boyfriend’s phone goes to voicemail because he is depressed. He doesn’t want to talk to anyone (including you). That is a matter of concern as conditions like this often take the sufferer deeper into the abyss of their own mind.
As a person who cares for him, you can advise him to seek the help of an expert. You can recommend the names of therapists. Make a list and help him call them to get appointments. Help him find the perfect therapist who would be able to help him. Be a good listener and empathize till you find the right person.
#4 Help if he is in danger
It is your moral duty to help your boyfriend when he is in danger. He would do the same for you. Keep your anger aside for a while, and focus on finding a way to deal with his problem. Here are a few things you can do to help.
- If he is sick – Get him to visit a doctor. If he is suffering from a serious health condition, it will be better to take him to a hospital directly. For that you will have to visit his home first, to check on him. Call his friends and family once you have admitted him to the hospital.
- If he is hurt – You can use your first aid knowledge if it is a minor injury. However, you will have to take him to the Emergency Room if he gets a serious injury. If you are enlisted as his emergency contact, you may even get a surprising call from the hospital or the police in case he meets with an accident. In that case, do not panic and leave for the hospital as soon as you can.
- If he is in a life-threatening situation – This mostly applies if our boyfriend is in the emergency services or if he is into adventure sports. People like these often go through life-threatening situations and defy death as a habit. Regular people with normal lives can also face such situations. There is not much you can do in these scenarios if you are unaware of their current location. All you can do is drop texts and keep trying after regular yet sane intervals.
However, contact the emergency services as soon as you can if you manage to contact him by any means. He may send you an SOS signal. Try to look out for that. Check your phone regularly for updates on his whereabouts.
#5 Contact people who know him
People who know him may also know his whereabouts. You can contact them to get hold of your boyfriend. Tell them that you are worried. However, it could be a problem if they also don’t know where he is. That is when the panic will set in.
- Friends – They are the ones who know your boyfriend almost as much as you do. They might know some aspects of the person better than you. It will be wise to consult them about his whereabouts. If you are lucky enough, you may find him hanging out with them. After that, you are free to deal with him in whatever way you see fit.
- Family – Your boyfriend’s family probably knows him better than anyone else (including you). They will be able to tell you where he could be when he is angry or sad. Being mad at you or depressed about something can make your boyfriend want to go back to his childhood home to stay with his family for a few days. He can go there if he misses his family. He doesn’t need a reason to visit them. In that case, call his parents and you will know where he exactly is.
- Colleagues – His colleagues are people who spend a considerable amount of time with him every day. You can approach them if you have no clue about where your boyfriend is. Approach them only when the friends and family part hasn’t worked. Be careful about what you say in front of them as they are a part of your boyfriend’s professional life. Do not jeopardize his career while searching for him. Don’t share too much information with them.
#6 Ask him to be a bit more attentive with his phone
Your boyfriend made you feel anxious by not receiving your calls and sending them to voicemail for a while. If it was because of a technical issue, tell him he needs to fix that real soon (or simply replace the phone with a better model). He is required to be more attentive with his phone to avoid these situations from repeating themselves.
Tell him that his phone can’t always be on silent mode. He should try not to leave his phone elsewhere. Tell him that he should always keep it charged. Carrying a power bank is particularly helpful in this case.
The phone exists so that we can stay connected to each other. In today’s already anxious life, more anxiety over a missing partner is too much to deal with.
Tips and life hacks
A few points to be noted:
- Don’t smother him with numerous texts and messages.
- Check on him if he has been unresponsive for a while. He could be in danger.
- Apologize if you have offended him. He might call you back.
- Try not to start new fights. Deal with the issues with a calm mind (even if it infuriates you).
- There is no reason to stay in the relationship if you find him cheating on you with another person. However, offer to help him with his eating disorder if he is cheating on his diet.