My Boyfriend Prioritizes Games Over Me (7 Things To Do)

Hobbies and passions have been our basic choices since childhood. We love to save time for nurturing them in our leisure hours. They are fun to do. Moreover, we remove the tedium from our everyday routine by pursuing those activities. In a word, they are indispensable to keep us alive. 

But things take a turn for the worse as soon as they affect our personal lives. Obsessing over a particular hobby often becomes an unacceptable habit. We neglect people who are the near and dear ones through the excessive practices of such habits. One of such present-time recreations that has gained popularity over the last few years is playing games. And most of us spend time gaming for hours forgetting our surrounding people and world.

If you are one of those girlfriends who feel neglected and left out because of the over-attachment of your boyfriend to playing games, it's high time you read the article to broaden your horizons. 

Reasons why your boyfriend prioritizes games over you

You have started your journey as a sweet and romantic couple. Years fleeted by and now you notice your boyfriend pays little or no attention to you since he spends most of his time playing games. He blows off the meet-ups, arrives late, and misses your calls because he cannot take his mind off the gaming screen. You are disgusted about his recent craving and want to find out the solution. 

This is the best place you have come if you have been casting around for credible help. To have an integrated idea of this concern, start by going through the reasons jotted down below. 

#1 He is passionate about games

Digital media has introduced a whole new gaming world to us. This is a sensational addition to many of us who love to play games. Along with that, the emergence of miscellaneous apps and software has made it more easily accessible. Therefore, what seemed to be a distant dream a few decades ago, has become a reality today. 

People love playing games because they find it challenging and highly competitive. They can engage themselves to push their boundaries and polish their potential. It is often taken as a medium to develop their strategic skills, presence of mind, and quick decisiveness. Besides, this is a safe place to encounter failure. All this makes the idea of gaming look attractive and stimulating and anyone can be passionate about its thrilling concept.

Like any other young guy, your boyfriend could find his passion in this gaming affair. He might believe in its powerful benefit in developing cognitive abilities. And of course, who can deny the fun part of it? Experts have termed it as 'a guilty pleasure consumed secretly'. The excitement is always high. Sometimes he enjoys the nail-biting roller-coaster of emotions while playing hard to secure a rank. The demanding essence of a game makes it harder and more interesting. So he can't help feeling engrossed in them. 

There is no denying the good and positive sides of offline and online games. But when it begins to distract him from his real-life commitments and people whom he is supposed to share intimate relationships with, it has to be taken in a negative light. Games are to be treated like other spare-time hobbies and nothing more than that. Or else, at a certain point in time, he will find himself in the middle of loneliness. 

#2 He doesn't want to face reality

Reality may not be equally acceptable for everyone. Few of us have the inclination to escape it by any other means of fantasy. When we face a stressful phase and things do not take shape as we want them to, we want to go into denial for a little while. Especially when we get to know that adulthood comes with the humdrum of responsibility and exhaustion, we search for a temporary refuge. 

Maybe gaming is nothing but a coping mechanism for him to run away from the realities of adulthood. By engaging in the hours of playing games he simply wants to stay indifferent to his current life. It happens with the majority of people who get disillusioned with the difference between their imagination and the actuality of life. 

The world of games is completely different from our mundane existence. It's an alternative means to stay stress-free by providing an incredible and parallel setting of illusion. And he enjoys being deluded because it's his self-chosen delusion that he knows will help him feel happy. 

Some men derive vicarious satisfaction by delving into gaming activities. In reality, they may be the ones who suffer the most or have to undergo extreme kinds of desolation, challenges, and adversities. This is why they try to deviate from the poignancy of their present by getting involved in gaming entertainment. It's a relieving pause that might be a necessity for those who are burdened by multiple plights.

Your partner's engagement in games might strike you oddly when he constantly chooses it over everything. But you need to consider the subsequent facts that may play a significant role in making him an escapist who fears confronting the unfavorable conditions of life and prefers living in a utopian world of bringing moments of joy. 

#3 He has been addicted to games

The advent of smartphones has changed and transformed the language of the digital world. Video games, with that, have gone through a radical change as well. Multiplayer online gaming platforms actively draw millions of people every day to its virtual world. And young people all over the world are participating in these role-play internet games like rats following the pied-piper. 

We can not draw the line of difference between the words 'need' and 'want'. That is why we hardly manage to identify and differentiate obsession from passion. Here you have to understand that addiction is a negative term that does not necessarily suggest involvement in a passion. It mostly denotes an obsession that one cannot take control of.

We can control our habits as long as they are merely the subjects of our interest. We 'want' them but will not go berserk if we are dissociated from them. But the moment they become our addiction, we will 'need' them and the urge to stay connected to them will be maddening and indomitable. 

If you can see the mark of difference in his behavior and conclude that it has been his addiction, then not only you but everybody else would be his second priority, games being the first one. 

You must have noticed that your boyfriend does not stop talking or thinking of the games and their next levels that come up with harder challenges even after he does not play them anymore. The further hurdles and tougher phases of those games will always be running high in his mind. He cannot stop musing about them whether he wants it or not. 

Another factor to be mentioned here is that playing games may often trigger the rewarding cell of his brain that discharges dopamine after having experienced the delightful action of the gaming adventures. In turn, he feels a strong urge to receive the pleasure again and again by taking up more demanding challenges in the next stages of the games. The repeated event has reinforced an obsessive sensation toward the engagement in those online games. 

#4 He wants to avoid relationship issues

Relationships are complex and sometimes confusing. There are certain things that never find their way to a permanent solution. So we keep stumbling over those sensitive emotional areas and try not to discuss them quite often. 

Even one of the partners may want to stay avoidant of the potential complications and bypass them carefully and safely. 

Choosing to play games for as much time as possible could be such a well-thought-out scheme to avoid differences. Probably your boyfriend has concluded that any attempt to spend more time or have lengthy communication with you would lead to arguments or a war of words. So he has sought out his kind of recreation to stay away from the bitterness.

If your boyfriend happens to be a guy who is always scared and disinclined to take responsibility or talk about serious commitments, he would definitely try to distract your attention in the first place. If he fails, he will try to distract himself with something that serves both the purposes of entertaining him and disengaging him from the unnecessary load of liabilities. 

Games are nothing short of a blessing if they work like a happy pill that would relieve his stress, relax his mind, and help him shake off all the worries that the relationship may have given rise to. Nothing might be as threatening to him as the possibility of arguments regarding these controversial subjects of your relationship. Hence, he would be more than happy to engage in anything as fun as playing games to remain unperturbed.

#5 He needs space for himself

Expecting space in a relationship is a justified demand. Being engaged to each other doesn't mean that one must invest all his time in that one single person. Rather, the absence of personal space might jeopardize the harmony of your relationship. It becomes too boring and too tenacious. Partners feel confined and locked up and gasp for freedom.

In a similar way, your companion must be in need of a space where he is free to decide his act of diversions and hobbies. Playing games falls into his me-time zone. It's nothing like overdoing his passion and fun things, yet he doesn't want to divide this time with anyone, not even you. 

He thinks it absolutely fair to make room for his own time of amusement, whatever the mode may be. For him, it's playing a game that gives him his share of good times when he enjoys his own company. So it can't be negotiated or stated as over-expectations. This much must be allowed in every relationship. Even when you do the same, you might see him acknowledging the necessity of space and supporting you to go ahead with your me-time.

In a contrasting scenario, if he objects to your need when you wish to cherish your space with your preferred activities, remind him of the way he loves being left alone with his gaming buzz. And don't forget to sound equally in favor of personal space that can be enjoyed doing anything you long for.

#6 He doesn't know it's hurting you

We may feel despondent and less important if our partner continually prioritizes games over us. It's obviously disappointing. Nobody likes to play second fiddle in their partner's life. It's humiliating too. But what if he doesn't know at all that his acts are actually hurting you? Before sulking bitterly, you need him to be well aware of reality. 

If he is preoccupied with everything related to games in addition to his participation in them, even then it doesn't hint that his feelings for you are taking a nosedive. It may be a sign of his lack of knowledge about the impact of his actions. 

It is believed that relationships are in their heyday when they are new and fresh. But as it ages, partners may lose some of their shine or replace their previous gestures with more mature expressions. As a partner, your boyfriend might have expected that time has shaped your emotions into more settled and sorted ones, and you have learned to value his likes and dislikes more approvingly. 

Never did he have a clue of your dissatisfaction with his overindulgence in playing video games. Silence will stand for an affirmation unless you speak up and let him know the truth. Maybe, he always took your quietness for your consent and had a notion that you too enjoyed him talking about his favorite pastimes. 

Generally, men are weaker in communicating their feelings and sometimes in perceiving what causes their partner to freak out. He is devoting his time knowing that you are fine with it and have no trouble with his special interest in it. 

The communication gap might have led to his belief that you cannot feel hurt or ignored if he goes on doing that. On the other hand, you find it next to impossible to bottle up the anger, frustrations, and sullenness about his ignorance and less interest in prioritizing your emotions. The result is an impassable distance that has crawled into the relationship that neither of you has deserved.

Break the silence if you honestly wish to break the wall. Perhaps, this is your chance to prioritize him over the games.

#7 He thinks of himself as an ace gamer

You are upset and irritated to see your boyfriend consumed by everything about video games, especially online entertainers. He is glued to his computer or mobile screen all day leaving behind important engagements and people. He seems miles away from the real world to be dedicatedly present in the virtual world of games. You wonder what may be the magic potion that is hypnotizing him with all its secret charm and deflecting his attention from his close relations.

Well, it's possibly his desire to ace the subject of games as an expert and become a professional gamer. Gaming entertainment has now become a highly coveted career for people who passionately enjoy playing games. They have a natural streak of gaining expertise in games and so a huge number of youngsters are intrigued by the idea of gaming as a great career option. 

It's nothing unique or rare for your boyfriend to choose gaming as his profession since it has the potential to create a lump sum of money without an educational qualification or credentials. He knows there are no schools or institutes that provide formal training for video gamers and only a thorough study and detailed research would help him accomplish his dream. 

It is also true that to excel in the qualities and to upskill himself, he needs to practice regularly on the specific choice of games to compete with other talented gamers. He is simply refining himself uncompromisingly since he is aware that it will need a combination of patience, promptness, quick reflexes, and determination to crack the jackpot. As a future pro gamer, he is assembling essential items like a high-quality keyboard, controller, and mouse with state-of-the-art monitors that have high-graphics card attributes. 

Having all this in mind he always stays on the ball about gaming activities and turns deaf ears to all other pleasures and emotions to prioritize gaming as his upcoming career.

#8 He is poor at balancing priorities

To lead a happy life we need to master the art of balancing priorities. We are met with different situations and circumstances every day and we have to choose which one of them to set at the top of our priority list. Sometimes we get confused and dazzled by the diversity of their patterns and struggle to stay unaffected. We rush things and make impulsive decisions to come clean for that very moment and as a result get screwed up.

What your partner may fail to deal with is to divide his time tactfully between his passion and his personal emotions. He is a believer in hard work, be it his relations or a matter of his choice of hobbies he tries to remain constant. But he is misunderstood because of being poor at time management. He cannot do smart work and makes a mess of everything he holds close in the end upsetting both sides. 

A very handful of people own an exceptional flair for smart work. They can differentiate between two contradictory forces at the same time with an outstanding gumption. This is because they know their rules and keep things in control. Most importantly, they do not prioritize what's on their schedule, rather they try to schedule their priorities. They save time for their personal life and fix a definite period for pursuing other things of importance.

Maybe separating priorities is not your boyfriend's strong suit. He merges everything in haste, picks up what appeals to him at the present moment and never thinks before taking the leap. He always makes a move despite having no clarity or foresight about the future aftermath. 

Poor thing he is to make a fuss of every little thing that requires attention and care. He loses track of time while playing games and comes to his senses when you jolt him to reality. Again he makes the same mistake and fumbles before you. Not that he doesn't miss you, it's just his brain functioning ineptly to steady things up.

#9 He loves to socialize on the gaming platforms

Massive multiplayer online games have opened the door to an entirely new environment for a large number of people to come forward and build a community in the virtual platforms to participate, compete, and interact. The concept is to encourage teamwork and a sense of cooperation among the participants. It is a social forum to communicate and be a part of a group based on their common interest in games.

As an avid gamer, your man might be fascinated to socialize with like-minded people who take part in the same field of games. Despite being physically apart they are in the act of exchanging emotions, thoughts, and ideas with one another. More often than not the messages they communicate are socio-emotional rather than task-driven. He may love to engage in such online interaction where he gets to send and receive texts consisting of gratitude and notes of motivation with his fellow players.

By taking part in multiplayer games, it is possible to grow a gaming fraternity where your partner shares the same passion with other players and connects with them more frequently than he does with his real-life friends in person. He might be comfortable establishing his identity as a part of the larger group where millions of gamers continuously explore innovative methods and skills. The brotherhood and comradeship born out of the interchange of a similar love for games is what has made him more and more enticed with the world of games. 

The two different worlds of passion stand on two different poles. It's not true that his growing frenzy for games will come in the way of his romantic relationship if he knows how to tidy up the emotional chaos you might be in. It's just a matter of time and the right kind of communication which may settle things down without compromising either of the two.

#10 He lacks goals and visions

Everybody needs a definite goal to follow in life. Without a goal, life is like running without a finishing line. Having a goal creates in us a sense of purpose and we craft our journey according to that destination. It is these goals that help us stay focused on our responsibility and doable ventures. 

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people who set no goals for themselves since they are unaware of their importance and essentiality until it's too late. These people presume that life will go on the way it is and that there won't be much to add or replace in the manner they look at things. They hardly possess the insight to measure the impact of their languid approach on their own lives and their relationships.

If you have figured out that your partner is a guy who is thoroughly unmotivated and aimless, let me tell you it's this lack of vision that is drawing him back to spend idle hours on useless things. He doesn't aim for anything bigger and has a complete vagueness about which things he should do with prior commitment. He has no hunger, no ambition, and no plans for a stable career that would bring him the bread on the platter.

This one enormous shortcoming in his character keeps him stagnant with a particular absorption like playing games for the entire day. He is just drifting along with the same carefree laziness and sitting in the same place isolated and withdrawn from his true potential. 

So, his intense gaming spree may not be the root cause of his disregard for others' sentiments, rather it is the result of the non-existence of his true calling. 

What to do when your boyfriend prioritizes games over you?

Being in a long-term relationship fosters a set of expectations from our partners. We would never be ready to stay as a second-best for our mates. Priorities are nonadjustable criteria for a happy and successful relationship. The otherwise is sure to throw us into a vortex of yes's and no's. 

There you have to come to a permanent conclusion to let your boyfriend know that this is a non-compromisable quality of a romantic engagement. Before you decide on the best choice, try out the responses given below that might bring back the old spark once again.

#1 Speak with him

Identification of a problem and getting its solution needs a detailed understanding of it. If you are being subjected to anxiety and depression, keeping silent won't work great. You have to take a stand and speak for yourself. Only then you would see a clear way out, leading to the cathartic effect.

Partners are seen to be apprehensive of something terrible if they are to discuss relationship issues. But timely communication can sort out a lot if you dare take the next step. 

Speak with him, with no indirect hints. It's important to stay important in a relationship, or it will be equal to almost an absence. This is not a one-sided story. So if you want your relationship to stand the test of time, survive, and thrive, get into a conversation that would solve the puzzle for both of you.

A constructive discussion paves the way for a renewed friendship and love. This could be like unlocking the door that has long been left closed. Let out your emotions and take out his. Don't forget that you are together for a common cause and that is the feeling of selfless love for each other. 

Tell him how you have been suffering alone and want to draw an end to this loneliness. Things can be discussed in a non-accusatory way by saying,

"I know you love video games and enjoy playing them for hours without interruption. But somewhere I am being left alone and ignored. I really miss our late-night conversations and sweet chats where we used to share all the small details of our lives. It's not that I want them all back or I want to oppose your passion for games. But can't there be a little more time for ourselves?"

#2 Motivate him toward a life goal

There are too many examples where girlfriends become the pillar of support and encouragement to the achievements of their partners. This is the very uniqueness of love that provides you with the power to wake up the half-dead dreams in your beloved. They find you as an inspiration in their life that used to be listless and unfocused. They feel elated and surprised to see the stranger in the mirror, who lay asleep for years. 

Your boyfriend might not be able to see his wheelhouse and true mettle, but one single act of motivation may manifest his inner power. Strike up frequent conversations about his other interests and passions apart from video games. Encourage him to rediscover his old hobbies that align with his creative flamboyance. Ask him the reasons that are preventing him from starting over. Cheer him up on his accomplishments and reward him with appreciation.

You can advise him to break his goal into smaller targets that might seem easy to achieve. This will infuse the willingness and urge to work for the bigger objectives. Share your goals to induce a desire for self-identity in him. Help him with the necessary resources and tools in the relevant field he might be interested in. Don't let him take a break and push him forward with his strongest willpower. 

Tell him that we live for a cause, a purpose. This cause is the very identity that makes us different and unmatched. Coax him into effective actions toward a specific career that would teach him human qualities. Lastly, stand by him to offer unfaltering support to deal with failures and setbacks.  

#3 Bond together in private times

Sit for a moment and think of your older days. How the two of you get close to each other through occasional date nights, never-ending conversations about your personal experiences, and delicate interactions of emotions. Repeat the same actions to make things work again. 

Take the initiative to make plans for short trips to a place of interest, for window shopping and visiting cafeterias that have nostalgic vibes, staying up late at night to exchange intense moments of vulnerability, or sudden long drives that would keep you intimate. Show your eagerness to spend private time together without any distractions. Visit places that are packed with memories of the initial days of your relationship. 

Talk about your future, your hopes, your dreams, and your desires. Focus on the quality moments when you will get to rediscover each other. Run your fingers through his hair and whisper the soft words of passion to his ears. Let the music of love play the best notes when you are together. Create magic together as a couple. 

#4 Try to find common interests

Don't let your positive energy get into sleep mode so soon. Drive them into finding and nourishing your mutual field of fondness. An addiction or obsession must be given up slowly. If gaming has been an irresistible pastime for him, replace it with something healthy yet more powerful. 

Build a community outside his virtual world by developing common preferences and meeting people related to them. Get a form for an interesting course that might pique his creative bent and go in together. Listen to relaxing music to divert his restless nerves from negative forces. Help him taste the wonders of art, science, and culture. 

Create a competitive atmosphere by enrolling in a high-skill performing art so that he can implement his sharpness, presence of mind, intelligence, and agility in a far more productive and composed way. Instead of going against his gaming skills, get him attached to a far-reaching cause that would serve as a major distraction from his obsessive penchant and could be practiced together. 

Make a list of new hobbies or passions and attend demonstration classes or free workshops that would bring color and spice to his soul. Swap your roles as partners and ask him to cook or do up the room for you to experiment with the fun and frivolity. In the end, you would bloom into the best version of yourselves and complement each other as ideal partners. 

#5 Be his frequent gaming partner

You cannot change certain things despite your dislikes. But you can certainly change your perspectives toward them. It will help you adjust to the difference and accept the inevitability. 

Maybe it is your aversion to video games that is turning you against his attachment to them. He is not spending excessive time playing them, yet you cannot accept his keenness toward gaming. It might be born out of your ignorance about the nitty-gritty of the gaming subject. But your present situation demands you to research and study them to get familiar with their essence. 

Show your eagerness to know about the gaming world and be his companion sharing a common liking for games. Ask him about its rules, methods, and mechanisms. Participate in multiplayer online games to fit into the picture. Enjoy the fun, and be a part of the fun. Join him in the gaming activities to relish the time and its extraordinary effects with each other. 

#6 Foster your own hobbies

It's time you look at yourself and your choice of recreation. In the process of prioritizing the relationship, you might have stopped attending a good many of your artistic potentials that were promising and full of possibilities. You have sacrificed a lot more than you were supposed to and now it is your turn to love yourself back.

Everybody deserves to follow their own dreams and passions. It is your world where you are to choose how you are going to spend your life or make yourself happy. Don't always look for your partner's company in your free time, instead foster your own hobbies and stay busy with them. 

Read a book or write something you love. Spend time with your family, talk to your friends, and listen to your favorite music pieces. Cultivate your culinary skills by trying to cook different cuisines, or bake a few cookies and cakes in your spare time. Click photos of random things and people on the street, or freeze the moments when you lose yourself in the lap of nature. Engage in anything that can bring back the missing piece of your true self. 

#7 Set boundaries and come to a conclusion

To set boundaries and settle on them is essential for both partners. The relationship is meant to be worked out together. You both must be in the same boat to keep it moving in the same direction. There should be a few unstated principles that both of you should respect and stick to. 

It's the interest of your relationship as a whole that you should emphasize and not lose sight of. Your individual desire or pleasure might sometimes be relatively immaterial but in the end, the victory will be shared equally by each of you. 

Therefore, finding a middle point is favorable for both you and your partner. You need to set margins in stone for the sake of each other, which neither of you can pass over. It could be cutting back on quality time, it could be effective communication, personal space, or individual freedom that your partner has to agree on if he truly wants the relationship to materialize. 

In case the efforts are partial, you probably need to consider moving on. You just can't be a part of something that has an official name but lacks the required emotional involvement. If he prioritizes games over you, you should learn to prioritize yourself over him. 

Quick tips

To balance his priority over gaming and your relationship, you need to respond wisely and sensitively. Follow the life hacks to come out with a winning smile.

• Express your annoyance over his excessive involvement in video games blatantly. Roundabout hints should be avoided if he has a little sense of reading your mind.

• Allow him to explain his actions. Listen to him carefully to learn the rationale behind his over-engagement with this specific field of passion. If that seems convincing, ask him to save a little more time for you.

• Make sure that both the partners' personal space and independence are not affected by the process. Acknowledge the difference in your leisure time activities and be respectful of his choice of interest.

• Discuss boundaries to adhere to and share their roles in the landscape of relationships. 

• Encourage him to practice things of mutual love and choose quality over quantity while spending private hours. Make them too intense to remember other distractions. 

• If things are not working, take advice from friends or family, or go for a couple counseling to come to a healthy conclusion.