My Boyfriend Plays Video Games All Day (Here's What to Do)

We like to feel needy and vulnerable in a relationship and we hate it when our boyfriends spend more time with their PlayStation than they do with us. However, is that not better than cheating? I mean, let’s admit, at least you don’t have to worry on that front. 

Every coin has two faces. While you are focusing on the cons of your boyfriend’s obsession with video games, you are missing out on the pros. You are so focused on trying to make him get rid of this habit that you get all heated up. 

Every problem can be resolved with a calm mind and when you are determined to find a solution rather than run away from it. In this blog post, I will show you both sides of the picture and help you decide ways in which you can resolve the situation better. Continue reading to know more.

Reasons why your boyfriend plays video games all day 

He finds video games captivating. It helps him forget about all his worries and be happy and careless. While taking a break to indulge in "me-time," should be appreciated, extending it to a great extent can be worrisome. 

If your boyfriend is a game addict and initially he had started becoming negligent towards you, and now he is negligent towards himself too, it is an alarming situation. However, worry not. Read below to understand why he is so hooked up with his hand and what can you do about it. 

#1 He has been a gamer 

If your boyfriend is tech-savvy and has always been a gamer, it will be hard to ask him to withdraw the habit overnight. You can instead show him the consequences of overindulging by not looking after him. 

When he finds that there is no food to eat, his laundry is undone, or you are not checking on him, it will hit him hard and he will be shaken off into reality. 

Make the situation such that he is forced to make you an apology for the negligent behavior. Once he reaches there, it will leave a deep impact on his mind. 

#2 He is a loner 

If your boyfriend has always been a loner, that is, devoid of friends and raised alone without siblings, don't be too surprised to find out that he is the king in the gaming world. 

As a child, he was raised in an environment that facilitated Playstation and arcade. The longing to continue gaming remained even in his youth years. 

There is no direct escape from it but a strict warning in the manner of a parent giving it to their kid. 

We often take parental roles in a relationship. It is natural because we care for the ones we love. Hence, you can expect your boyfriend to agree with you even if he is upset at first. He is aware that you have the best intentions for him at heart. 

#3 He doesn’t like to party 

Perhaps you are dating a guy who doesn't like to party. Now ask yourself, what do you do when you don't party or socialize? 

Perhaps you find solace and escapade in the world of books, right? 

Or, you practice your favorite dance moves because it is relaxing and calms you down. 

You might argue here that your boyfriend isn't relaxing, or you don't find it soothing but that is your point of view. It might not be the same for him. 

You can meet him midway by playing video games with him. In return, you can ask him to accompany you in things you like to do.

Once he develops a taste for it, be it cooking, art, or life skills, he will automatically switch to such relaxing means and give up entirely on video games. 

Some activities that your boyfriend might enjoy with you are:

• Baking: Guys usually enjoy baking. It could be banana cake, fruit cake, or truffle. Pick one that he is fond of. You can do the dressing together. The frosting can be an interesting process that will help you to spend quality time together. 
• Painting: Who doesn't like to play with colors? Choose the most favorite corner of your home and paint the wall with your boyfriend. Decorate it with string lights and photo frames. 
• Dance: It need not be a particular style and definite moves. You can start with freestyle by playing the music and dancing slowly to the beats. 
• Arcade: Since your boyfriend enjoys video games so much, he would switch to the arcade. You can go bowling too. A switch in the environment that involves more people can be happening and delightful. 

#4 He is a nerd 

Perhaps your boyfriend is a nerd and is friends with a group of nerds. In this context, you can think of the daily soap like Big Bang Theory. Assume you are Penny, and think about the episode when Sheldon introduces her to the game and she gets completely obsessed with it. 

You can use the example or show him the clip to explain the not so far fetched consequences of such behavior.

Nobody than the nerds know the best way to utilize their time calculatingly by making a sound division of their schedule and maintaining a fine balance among them. You can watch shows like Big Bang Theory, Doctor House, or Young Sheldon that a nerd will surely enjoy. Even if he has watched those, you can rewatch the episodes. 

There are many board games and fun activities that they play in Big Bang Theory. You can play those with your boyfriend. Most of them are board games and memory games. It will enhance your memory and will serve as a recreational activity for both of you. 

While the world enacts role plays in different ways, you can heighten your experience by adopting the skin of your favorite characters. You can either write a script or learn the original dialogues and mimic them. It will be a fun enriching experience. 

#5 He makes games 

If your boyfriend is a gamer, that is, this is not only his hobby but also his profession, and he makes money through this, it is only natural to spend time exploring more games or new games in the market. You will realize that he is taking notes while he is playing. Hence, it’s less play and more work.

Don’t get too fidgety about it without knowing the nature of work. If it is more work, you should be glad that he is pursuing something that he likes dearly. It should inspire you to do the same. However, to take extra care and precautions, you can see to it that he does not strain his eyes much. 

Using eye drops can be effective. Even trying cold compression can keep the strain at bay. If you are concerned that you are not getting as much time as you might have wished to, you can talk it out with him. 

Your mind won’t nag you much if you remember that he is working and not playing. This will help you to re-estimate him in your eyes. You will be more thoughtful and profound in your words and gestures. 

If anything, the fact that he works so hard while you waste your time might strike you hard and make you feel guilty. When it strikes you, use it as a positive affirmation and work on yourself rather than holding a grudge against him or yourself for that matter.

#6 Clears his mind 

Gaming could be a way to break negative thoughts, clear the thought -process, and find ways out of a seemingly clouded problem. It helps him indulge in new strategies. The gaming mode helps in boosting adrenaline for many. 

The tactics to find a way out of the immediate problem, to take down the opponent, establish a defense mechanism, adjust eyes with the color coding on the screen, and anticipate the opponent’s moves help the player a great deal in coping with sudden situations and finding a fix. 

You could think of video games as playing chess. The moves and every step counts and makes it worthy of the player’s attention. It is not for nothing that there are olympiads of all kinds of games and it helps to recognize the talent of worthy people with higher intelligence. 

When you try to see the positives in a person, the negatives won't hit hard. Plus, without perceiving things from their perspective, don't haste into making a call. 

#7 He uses this for anger management 

Your boyfriend might use gaming for anger management. It is a common tactic used by many. When you see your boyfriend firing down the opponents, in his imagination he is perhaps firing at his enemies. 

However, this can be alarming as it shows that he has a lot of pent-up anger that might be displaced wrongly upon you too in the future. It also shows that he holds animosity and grudges easily against people and doesn’t let go of those swiftly. 

It further implies that perhaps he is not very sociable, and hence enjoys his me-time alone. Remember, if you bar your boyfriend from enjoying himself, he will remain unhappy. You don’t want to see your boyfriend unhappy for it will affect your mood too and make it worse.

Hence, rather than thinking long and hard about this, try to spend more time with him. If he continues not to appreciate your company, you know better what to do. Staying for long in a place where you are not appreciated will make you sad and question your self-worth.

#8 He finds the relationship overwhelming 

Perhaps your boyfriend is playing video games to avoid you because he is bored of your tattering all night and day and needs a break. He might think that you never indulge in productive talks or that you are always too serious. 

When the relationship gets too overwhelming for either of the partners, it is mindful to take a break. Rather than bothering him too much at this moment, allow him to take the space lest you might jeopardize your relationship. 

In the meanwhile, you can try to work on ways of improving yourself as a partner. If you are too talkative and it is mostly useless gossip, perhaps it is time you draw a line between where to talk and with whom. Some things are better if addressed to your friend rather than your boyfriend. 

Similarly, while being future-oriented is wise and healthy but a nagging on the subject is unacceptable. When you see that you are not getting a reply from the front, it means that you should either change the subject or stop talking. 

#9 He is jobless 

Perhaps you should have figured this out before you started dating him but you fell for the looks instead. A guy who takes too much time in grooming himself has more often the luxury to waste time because he is not doing anything productive. 

Think of the case of Joey in Friends in this regard. Though he was loved by all, he wasn’t up to any good and more like a burden on others. However, such people have brilliant emotional quotients. If you are good to them, they will be generous to you.  They are emotionally available and will be a good listener. They would regard your emotions and if you do something that hurts them they won’t think twice before shedding tears before you. They make up great friends.

You can try to help them in securing a job by using your network. A job where the primary need is to trust will do them well. You might keep them for company but if you are an ambitious woman, it is better to settle for someone who shares your dream.

#10 He is bored 

Perhaps your boyfriend is merely bored and it is a good thing that rather than playing around, he is more focused on a video game. Let him spend the time the way he needs it. As long as he is not talking to girls or the game isn’t about animated women that he can fantasize about, it should be fine.

Boredom can kill the romance. Hence, if your boyfriend is enthusiastic about something, it is a good sign. Don’t let it waste or hamper your relationship. Rather than bugging him with the matter, try to seduce him through your voice, dress up, and move. If he gets to chill with you, he might not care for the game at all. 

Hence, know what is your strength and work on the mechanisms in which you can captivate him. Both of you should have an upper hand on each other. If you don’t have it, or if you can’t think of a way, you are not with the right person.

#11 He is addicted 

Perhaps your boyfriend is addicted to gaming. Many rehabilitation centers help people to fix such problems. When a habit recurs and is toxic, it is better to find a fix for them. 

I still remember when the game called Candy Crush became an addiction to many. Various rehabilitation centers have opened up all around the world to help people withdraw from the candy syndrome. You can look up one such to help your boyfriend.

What to do when your boyfriend plays video games all day?

Leave him be. When you stop doing much or anything at all, your boyfriend might have a reawakening which will strike him hard and make him realize that he has been doing it all wrong. 

If this seems too much to you to do at once from the beginning, worry not. Scroll down below to find out better alternatives.

#1 Play along with him 

When your boyfriend is a gamer and is addicted to video games, why not sit and play along with him or rival him as an opponent? It will instill a competitive spirit in you and if games are a big deal for him, you will see yourself with a newly earned respect in his eyes. 

Moreover, you will understand what it is about these games that interest him so much. There could be things deeper than superficial. Some games allow you to make friends online. You will get an idea as to what kind of friends he is making and it will help you in estimating your zone of comfort with him. 

While it might be time-consuming and you might not understand it all at once, think of it as a time investment in your relationship and eventually you will get a hang of it. People tend to get bored with a singular activity. When that phase strikes in the life of your boyfriend, he will round off to square one. 

#2 Talk it out 

When your boyfriend is relentlessly playing games for hours and has become a couch sloth, you should utilize the opportunity by expressing your concern and pointing out that he is gaining weight and losing out on valuable time that can be put to better nature of work. 

Suggesting remedies and setting boundaries such as playing games only on weekends for a total of 3 hours can help you both find a way around the problem. It will fix the trouble without causing much displeasure to either of you.

Always approach your dear ones with a polite and friendly tone. Remember, your greater objective is to create an understanding between him and you. He should not feel alarmed or threatened by you or against you in any situation. 

#3 Help him develop hobbies 

When you see your boyfriend in a pickle that he might not be conscious of, you can help him in staying afloat rather than leave him stranded. You can do this by helping him get distracted by the things that can be more physical and joyous.

Pick things that you both enjoy doing. This could be reading, playing outdoor sports, board games, or chilling. Take clues from the games he plays. If they are motor 3-dimensional games, you can ask him to take you on a bike ride. If it is about superheroes, you can watch Avengers together. 

Eventually, you can level up from merely spending time with each other to doing something creative and productive together. This could begin with a brainstorming session where you can list all the activities that you enjoy doing. You can then go about allotting each activity to each day so that both your choices are acknowledged and a balance is maintained between them.

#4 Start ignoring him 

Silence has proven to be the best remedy in many cases. Your boyfriend will understand that he has overutilized his liberty. It might hit him hard that he is losing on important things and spoiling his relationship over something that will do him more damage than good in the long run.

You can ignore him by not texting him first, not calling to check on him, and boycotting sending him your photos. He will miss you and long for you. That is when you give him the option to choose between video games and you. You will know if he is worthy enough of your attention and time.

#5 Seek professional habit 

There is no harm in consulting a psychologist, or someone who studies and understands human behavior. It will help you to know how we mimic behavior and replicate the outcomes. You will know that the only by-products that it might leave you with will be a waste of time and friends. 

The way a counselor might put forward the words will do great to help your boyfriend overcome the constant triggers in the environment, and resist temptations. Remember, if you don’t do this right away, it might get too late to be healed, and one thing might lead to another. He might eventually get astray into trying drugs and getting addicted, it is better to mend ways as soon as possible by embracing the path of healing.

#6 Take a break if it becomes overwhelming 

If the relationship has become so overwhelming that you have exhausted your resources and drained yourself by constantly supplying your boyfriend's needs single-handedly while getting nothing worthy enough in return except sweet talks, it is better to stop breaking down and shun the tears. Don’t feel sorry about yourself but when you feel that you are in a sorry state, do immediate recovery before you release completely. Dump him for good and embrace the path of self-love and beauty.

Handful tips curated for you 

• Learn to value your happiness before others. If you don’t prioritize yourself, others won’t either. Be like our boyfriend, selfish and calculative in moves.
• Stop obsessing over your boyfriend even if you think that he means the world to you and that there is nothing more that you would have wanted from him but to notice your presence and appreciate your efforts.
• Always practice introspection before raising your fingers at others. Have you not been obsessing over something or someone for a long time now? Have you given your boyfriend any reason to treat you unjustly? Ask yourself before asking him.
• Don’t be after your boyfriend. If you will keep reiterating your points, he will be hell-bent on doing it more. When you loosen the grip, he will become restless and feel the deprivation. You don’t have to be the strict mommy all the time, sometimes absence and silence are good enough tools to tame a petulant disobedient person harmlessly.