My Boyfriend Jokes About Cheating (Here’s Why & What to Do)

Relationships can take strange turning points with the introduction of vague phrases in the conversations. One such phrase could be joking about cheating. To cheat in a relationship is usually taken as a deal-breaker. To joke about such a sensitive topic is therefore ridiculous and beyond imagination. 

However, if you find your boyfriend joking about cheating, you should be cautioned. It is important to understand where this is coming from and what can be its possible effects. In this blog post, I’ll tell you why your boyfriend jokes about cheating with you and what should you do about it. 

To know more, continue reading below. 

What does it mean when your boyfriend jokes about cheating?

The strongest possible reason why a guy might joke about cheating is because he has already committed adulteration and wants to understand your reaction to it. Whether you would be offended and averted by it, or is it something that could be accommodated into the domestic understanding of you two? 

However, it doesn’t end with this. While the dots are always connected in retrospect, the possibilities of some such awful patterns can be avoided by careful anticipation and subsequent prevention. To know more, continue reading below. 

#1 He wants to see your reaction 

Your boyfriend may want to see your reaction when he jokes about cheating to understand if there is any scope or space for adulteration. Many people get bored with the singularity in relationships. They like to explore more. However, when they stumble upon that one person, they think that since this is the one, it is time to draw lines and be theirs. But they want to embrace their wayward ways again when the singularity becomes too much to handle. 

This can be the case with your boyfriend. He wants to explore more or is not satisfied with the sexual compatibility that he shares with you. This happens when you are hesitant to explore sexual energy in certain ways. If your boyfriend is wilder and more hornier than you, this can happen. 

One way of not letting the situation get a firmer hold of you is by increasing the excitement and intimacy that you share with him. Another way to do this is getting wild virtually if you are not very comfortable physically. A mental play, a way to take it forward to the point of climax will necessitate control over your boyfriend’s choice of words and actions.

#2 He suspects you of betraying him 

This can be a way in which your boyfriend is trying to test your loyalty to and devotion to him. He wants to understand whether you are in love with him or you are here just to fool around. This doesn’t mean that he will abandon you. Perhaps he will try to figure out a way to modify your feelings towards him in certain ways. 

Honesty might not prove to be the best policy here. If you have mixed feelings for the guy you are dating, it is okay. Now, after seeing his efforts, if you are getting drawn to him, let the clouds of doubts take a break. 

Even if you were talking to other guys to feel the water, now that you are more inclined toward your boyfriend, it is advisable to mend your ways. You don’t need to confess anything if you are at the beginning of your relationship. It will be seen as taking your space, which is only natural. 

Had your feelings been more powerful than your boyfriend, it would have been a different case. But if he was the one to ask for the privilege to date you and since you have willingly committed yourself to it, why not maintain it? Remember, the best kind of relationships are the ones where everything doesn’t happen at the speed of light. When you are taking your time to know the other person and gradually making space to accommodate the one, it will be more meaningful and promising. 

#3 He is taunting you 

Your boyfriend might be taunting you because of your sudden fondness or close association with another guy. He is jealous even if he doesn’t show it on his face. In such cases, it is better to encourage your boyfriend to talk about the harsh feelings and to open up about his insecurities. 

It is very important to understand the importance of giving space in a relationship. You should not feel confined to a person. When you are drawing boundaries around a person, they will naturally begin to feel agitated. 

Such instances can be avoided when you meditate on it. Ask yourself some basic questions:

• What will be the benefit of the decision that I am about to make?
• Will it come across as a benefit to him too or will he objectify against it by calling me mean or greedy? 
• Is there a better way of doing this which doesn’t hurt his feelings?
• Why do I want to do this? Is it a true action or a reaction? If it is a reaction, what am I reacting to? Will my reaction be too obvious? 

Now try to wonder if the tables were turned, would you have wanted your boyfriend to react to an action that wasn’t favorable to him or would it have made more sense if he could take you in your confidence and talk it out with you? I suppose it is the latter. 

However, if you feel that your boyfriend’s words are a reaction to an unpleasant action from your end, figure out ways to encourage him to talk about it rather than foiling it with taunts because that is not helping either of you to resolve the matter at hand. If anything, it is making the situation worse. 

#4 He is cheating on you 

No matter how much you trust your boyfriend, you should not negotiate the possibility that he might be cheating on you. It is hardly ever true that either the guy or the girl is not talking to another person. Even if they are not committing adultery in words or actions, sharing a strong emotional affinity with another increases the tendency to cheat. 

Now you might wonder if you are to guard your boyfriend’s door in a manner that no woman can knock at or invade it. Well, even if you want to, that is not only very difficult but will also be suffocating. If you are always on guard, you will not be able to trust your man or call him with possessive pronouns. 

So what is the way out or a wiser way of dealing over here? It is to keep the faith and look for red signs that are deal breakers for you. Since you have trusted the person enough, if he still decides to toy with it, there is nothing much that you can do about it except step back and close the door. Fighting for something that is already rightfully yours will do you no good.

#5 It is his way of expressing his insecurities 

He is not very comfortable with the thought that you might cheat on him. Nobody can be. But he isn’t comfortable either in uttering the words out. Hence, he uses this as a tactic to give you clues regarding his comfort and discomfort zone. 

Take it as a deal breaker from his end. He looks for uncompromising loyalty without which he will not move forward. No degree of infidelity is okay by him. If you would ever dream of another person who could be a possible better choice for you, he would urge you to not dream from a distance. The idea is heart-breaking, and at times that is enough to do all the damage.

#6 He was not thinking 

Perhaps your boyfriend was inebriated. When wasted, one does not mind their thought much. Most probably, he won’t even remember saying all this the next day. In his mind, he might be toying with an idea that materialized into these words. 

You might wonder what to do with this information now and if it makes the situation better. I suggest you use this situation as a warning bell. There is a thought pricking your boyfriend’s mind and he isn’t feeling as secure as he should in a normal situation. Hence, your task over here is to reassure him. 

I have discussed below some ways in which you can give reassurance to your guy: 

• Involve him in the process of making plans. Don’t make him feel excluded or surprise him with a sudden plan at short notice. Do it diligently and do it together. 
• Pamper him. This can be done in multiple ways. You can make him cards, bake him cookies, understand his likes and dislikes, and give them importance. When you pamper him, he sees your efforts. It buys him confidence and surety. 
• Talk to him about the challenges popular between dating couples. Ask for suggestions to ensure that you don’t face such challenges between yourselves. The way his thoughts go, and how he expresses them will keep the ball rolling and clear things for you without the need for confrontation. 

#7 His best friend got cheated 

If an unforeseen tragedy happened with your boyfriend’s best friend, if he was dating a girl for a long time and had given his best shot in the relationship yet he got cheated, his best friend’s situation and mental status will also affect your boyfriend’s mental stability. 

They both might be questioning fate, and trust and become nihilist in their approach toward life. If you want to break this, talk to him whole-heartedly. Shake off his notions by helping him recreate your memories. Besides helps his best friend to overcome the loss. Do something special for him. 

You both can take him to a counselor, spend some days with him, and make him feel loved and protected. All these will strengthen your bond and make the world a better place to live in. Sometimes all the answers that you are looking for are hidden within. It is all about a willingness to make things better.

#8 He has a dark sense of humor 

Your relationship might stand compromised if you don’t share your boyfriend’s sense of humor. Your wavelengths won’t match and it will cause unnecessary conflicts. You will try to cope and avoid every small inconvenience by focusing on the grander scheme of things. However, one day, when the stack of conflicts piles up, you won’t be able to bottle up your emotions anymore. 

To avoid that situation from arising, take your steps this instant. You cannot change who you are nor can you expect him to do it. Instead, be friends with him. But start making your distance without any delay. He will not bring you happiness even if he appears to be funny. The gross side that he hides before others unveil itself before you because he trusts you. However, he is failing to see the damage it is bringing to your mental health. Don’t jeopardize your peace and serenity, it is not worth it.

How to deal with a boyfriend who jokes about cheating?

As cheating is a very sensitive topic, and you might be a highly emotional person, bring this to the notice of your boyfriend. He should be able to reason whether it would be honorable to talk to you in a certain way or not. Don’t just play along to keep him happy. 

To know more, continue reading below. 

#1 Show him your disapproval 

The easiest way to show your disapproval when someone cracks a lame joke is by not laughing at it. Hence, when your boyfriend is making an uncomfortable joke and you are not okay with it, show him so. If he reiterates, confront him by asking, 

“I don’t see what is funny here. Can you help me walk through it?” 

Your boyfriend will understand that the joke has not been well-received. He will be bound to either give an explanation or a reaction. When he does either, use the opportunity to denmark a boundary. State him clearly the likes and dislikes. What you cannot even tolerate verbally will be taken as a great offense if committed truly. Your boyfriend will understand the integrity at force here, and if he is merely interested in hook-ups, he will take this as a signal to part ways. 

#2 Give an honest reaction 

Don’t make up a reaction. If you don’t like something, learn to express it. Your boyfriend might be the best guy to know you inside out, however, that does not make him omniscient. He has his limitations and you must acknowledge it. Rather than assuming that he will naturally understand by some telekinetic or therapeutic skills, don’t take your chances. Be vocal about your feelings. 

The best way to do this is confrontation. You don’t have to act weird. Your boyfriend has made the case weird. That does not necessitate your active participation in the same. You can give a blank statement by saying, “The joke is lost on me.” It will be a bold enough declaration from your end and he will understand what you mean.

#3 Ask him what is the matter 

To understand the source of this dark humor, if it is intended as an attack on you, it is very important to understand the purpose. While it might be to hurt your sentiments, something might have triggered him to do so. Insensitivity might be an innate quality in many but not in the one who claims to love you. If he is a keeper of heart, he won’t disappoint you with such a ruse. 

Making an inquiry clear about things you are not sure of is always witty. Why take chances and cloud your mind with unnecessary ingredients? You both are together to have each other’s back. Occasional leg pulling is granted but taunt and sarcasm must be kept away within a relationship. Unnecessary meddling is never appreciated. 

#4 Spend more time together 

If you have been very busy lately, this is your alarm to mend the ways. Your boyfriend might feel lonely and desolate when you are not around. As a result, even when you are around, he is not able to give his best to you. His mind goes haywire and he lets his subdued anger get the better of him. 

This is an alarming concern for both of you as the problem is not only in your unavailability but also in your boyfriend’s psychological response to it. He should have been more accommodating and tried to grasp your side of the story without giving a prudent reaction. If he is not doing so, it suggests that he is mean. He wants things to either be his way or nothing at all. 

When you start putting forward your views and your perspective, it will help to broaden your boyfriend’s mindset. He will be able to shake away the dullness. An attempt to put himself in your shoes will enable you to love him stronger. 

#5 Take your time to process things 

You don’t owe him an immediate reaction except for the fact that the joke is lost on you. After all, what can be funny about cheating on someone? It is okay to take your time to introspect upon things. Take his help in understanding what is the matter with him. 

When you go silent and wait for the episode to stir in, you skip a reaction of rage. You will need more than anger and ferocity to settle and get a better hold of the situation. T will mount a wall in between which will prevent both of you from taking a more profound and proper look within. 

#6 Evaluate your friendliness with your boyfriend 

Are you over-friendly with your guy which has allowed him the liberty to behave in this unmanned manner? Or are you not friendly at all due to which every small attempt by your boyfriend to take some space is put under check by you? 

Both of the above are not good. It is very important to maintain a healthy balance in a relationship. You cannot demand everything. There is nothing called a person of excellent character and composure. All may look light and well but might not truly be so. Remember, everything is a process and you are always in the making. Hence, there is always a score of doing better. 

#7 Draw lines 

It is after all a healthy habit to draw lines and state your convictions. You don’t have to change yourself for the convenience of another. You have the right to take your time and make things better. Draw the lines very strictly wherever you feel the need. 

It can come as an advantage to both of you because it grants him the same right and authority to do so. Anything either of you do, keep it is mind that it should be for the betterment of both of you. You want to work on it and make things better, not worse. 

Tips 

• The greatest favor you will do yourself is to start being vocal about your concerns. At first, your boyfriend might be put into shock because he is not used to this behavior. He might even call you “nagging” but don’t be demotivated. If he desires you as a partner, he will make attempts to keep you comfortable, even if those attempts are done half-heartedly. 
• Motivate your partner to come out clear. He should not find himself in the need of looking for eloquent and fancy phrases to win your heart every time. The phase of impressing each other should not come at the cost of willingly suppressing the extrinsic problems that can cause hiccups in your relationship.