My Boyfriend Hung Up on Me (Reasons + Things to Do)

Love is a tricky thing. It goes through a lot of ups and downs. These ups and downs are manifested in various forms. The topic we are discussing right now is one such scenario. Your boyfriend hung up on you. An incident like this is rightfully supposed to make you anxious (or even annoyed). It will make you think about what you have done wrong to receive this kind of behavior from him (even if you have done nothing to spur his anger).

Well, I can assure you about one thing: this kind of behavior is not always about you. It is mostly a reflection of his issues. It is more about him than it is about you.

What else is it about?

Now, this question will have many answers. They can range from genuine emergencies to silly tantrums. However, hanging up on someone is considered rude (whatever the reason may be). The behavior is worthy of redemption only if it has a proper cause. Hanging up abruptly while speaking over the phone makes the person at the receiving end anxious and most importantly, it is extremely insulting for them.

Anyway, let's focus on your problem now. Your boyfriend has hung up on you and together we will make an attempt to find out possible reasons for his behavior and along with that we will look for effective ways to deal with the situation. Read on.

Reasons why he hung up on you

Your boyfriend can have so many reasons (or lack of it) to hang up on you. He can have a good, explainable reason for the way he acted, or it could just be another tantrum thrown by the man-child that he is. Hanging up on someone is considered rude. We will have to get to the root of this rude behavior demonstrated by him.

Understanding his mind is an easy way to deal with the situation effectively. You would not want to create a misunderstanding by judging him in the wrong way.

I have carefully curated a list of possible reasons for this kind of behavior. Go through them to understand what made your boyfriend hang up on you. Keep scrolling.

#1 He received an important call

There is no need to overthink the situation. Your boyfriend hung up on you because he received an important call. Some calls are more urgent than common chitchatting. They often need our undivided attention. That is what happened in your boyfriend’s case.

Hanging up on you, abruptly, does not always mean he is deliberately being rude, or he is no longer in love with you. He can like you very much but still, hang up on you when he receives an important call. He needs to know that you will not chide him for what he has done. He needs you to understand the circumstances he was in.

There are several calls that people can’t avoid. He can hang up on receiving a call from his boss. Calls like that often have the power to make or break a person’s career. For obvious reasons, he will not jeopardize his career just to talk to you over the phone.

Repeated calls from family or friends might force him to hang up on you to call them back or receive their call, in order to know what is wrong with them. Your boyfriend can hang up on you because of important calls when he is already going through a crisis. You have called him at the wrong time.

At this moment, he needs to concentrate on the problem that has been bugging him. Talking to you might be an inconvenience for him. It is something he can’t say to your face because he is too polite to do that. But if the need to hang up on you occurs, he will do it without question and probably apologize to you later.

#2 There was a misunderstanding

Misunderstandings can often cause these situations. Your boyfriend could have misunderstood a word you said as a cue to hang up. He could have misinterpreted your words and thought you said something offensive (something that you never meant with what you said). Here are two common scenarios for you to study:

• He thought the conversation was over - Your boyfriend hung up on you because he thought the conversation was over. Now this could happen when a person keeps quiet for a considerable period of time while talking to someone on the phone. Your silence could have brought on the situation. He misunderstood your silence to be a cue to end the conversation. After all, not everybody can read minds. Your words can also bring on this situation. You must have said something that made him think the conversation was over, and hence, he hung up on you. You may not have conveyed your thoughts properly. However, there is a chance that he is a bad listener. He must have been thinking about something else while you were talking. He made up something in his mind when you stopped talking and instead of reacting aptly to what you said, he disconnected the call abruptly.

• He is mad at you – Something you said can make him hang up on you. Let’s assume, he was listening, but that is not enough in this case. He listened but interpreted wrong. You said your words with a certain intention and he received them in an entirely wrong way. Now, he is mad at you. He probably would not even pick up your calls now. He will need some convincing about the misunderstanding. Anger can make us do regrettable things. Hanging up on a loved one is an example of angry behavior. Your boyfriend’s sense of judgment has been clouded with anger since he misinterpreted your words.

#3 There was a technical issue

You thought your boyfriend hung up on you and now you are mad at him. Think about it carefully, it could have a technical glitch. It is okay for you to get annoyed when the call gets disconnected while you are speaking. It messes up your train of thought and that can be infuriating. However, you should take technical issues into consideration, especially when it is quite unlikely for your boyfriend to hang up on you.

Nobody knows your boyfriend better than you. You know his behavioral pattern. Do you think he can do something like this without obvious provocation? If you have doubts, then it is better to analyze and cross the situation. You can’t rule out the possibility of a technical glitch if your boyfriend is a nice person.

Technical issues with the phone’s network can be pretty annoying. A call getting disconnected at a crucial moment in a conversation can spur misunderstandings like the one we are discussing now. In this case, it will be your job to find out whether the speculation we are talking about is true or not. If it is true, getting mad at your boyfriend is unjust and futile.

#4 He is not serious about you

Relationships are complicated. It often happens that two people fail to be on the same page. Not being on the same page in a relationship can give birth to a series of problems like the one we are discussing now. The relationship often turns toxic with one person putting more effort than the other. This causes an imbalance, and the imbalance often leads to the end of a relationship. Your boyfriend hung up on you because he is not that serious about this relationship. Let’s go through the scenario.

• He is trying to hide your existence – Your boyfriend is trying to hide you from someone. That is why he hung up the phone on you. In this case, ending a conversation abruptly (sometimes hurriedly) could mean infidelity in love. Your boyfriend is probably being disloyal. He is cheating on you. A person gets disloyal in a romantic relationship only when they are not serious about the person they are supposed to adore. However, it is not always cheating. There is no need to be happy about it either. Your boyfriend may not be cheating on you, but he could still be hiding you from the world. He hung up on you because someone he knew (friend or family) entered the room. He does not want them to know about you. This could happen when your boyfriend is ashamed of the relationship. He wants to keep it a hush-hush affair. Now, that could be extremely disrespectful to you. You have the right to demand social recognition as his girlfriend. Such behavior occurs only when your boyfriend is not serious about you.

• He is being rude – A person who is serious about you will think twice before being unnecessarily rude. Your boyfriend is a rude person who likes to torment you by hanging up mid-conversation. He does not let you speak. He stops you from expressing yourself. I must say, this is not a healthy relationship. Your boyfriend probably wants to teach you lessons this way (by making you feel miserable). This is a textbook example of toxic behavior. He is not at all serious about you. He thinks he owns you, and therefore, can do whatever he pleases. He will probably yell at you if you behave with him in a similar way. Your boyfriend is an entitled brat who thinks being rude to a woman is a sign of masculinity. He derives pleasure from making you feel bad. He likes it when you are sad and needy. That is probably the moment he will portray himself as the larger-than-life savior who saves you from sadness ─ the same sadness that he inflicted on you.

#5 He did it to annoy you on purpose

Our boyfriend is a pretty annoying person who likes to make you mad for no apparent reason. He loves irritating you by doing things you do not like or might not like. He hung up on you during a full-fledged conversation. That is rightfully supposed to make you angry. That is precisely what he wants. He wants you to get all riled up about it.

Your boyfriend is an immature person who likes doing childish this for pure fun. The behavior that irritates you is quite a playful thing for him. He is exactly like those little elementary school boys in the schoolyard who tug on the girls’ ponytails to annoy them. The angrier you get, the happier he is. Your rage is a win for him. He thinks that his trick was a successful one as it managed to push you over the edge.

The film industry, with all its romantic comedies, has made us believe that this kind of boyish behavior is okay in a relationship. It is considered charming. But reality begs to differ. Behavior like this becomes tiring after a short while. A man-child is the last thing a woman wants. Even thinking about such a scenario can annoy a person. You were talking to your boyfriend and he hung up on you for pure fun. That is the lamest thing to do, especially for an adult.

His behavior only proves that he has not grown up and he is certainly not cut out for a serious relationship at this moment. He is probably a misfit in your life. You deserve better and the better person could just be around the corner.

#6 The phone battery drained

Your boyfriend did not hang up on you. His phone battery drained the phone got switched off. His only fault here is that he did not put his phone on charging at the right time. You have already misunderstood him by now. The fact that you are here looking for answers proves that. Misunderstandings occur in relationships. It is not unnatural. However, chiding him for an unintentional mistake is not the right move. You will have to understand his situation as the same thing can happen to you at any given moment.

I understand that getting disrupted during a serious conversation can be frustrating. However, the frustration should be kept at bay while looking for the reason why he hung up on you. The draining of the phone battery is something he can’t control, especially when he has been out for a long time. He can face this situation if he has lost his phone charger. Older phones often start having battery backup issues. He could have used his phone a tad bit more than usual. There are so many other reasons for battery drainage. None of them ensures that he has fallen out of love with you. It is quite ridiculous to think that one incomplete phone call will be the beginning of the end. There is so much more to a relationship than bickering over these silly matters that will mean nothing after a month.

#7 He is in danger

Just as I discussed in a previous point, you know your boyfriend better than anyone else. You know his behavioral patterns and general habits. If the fact that he hung up on you, mid-conversation feels a little odd, then do not rule out the speculation of him being in danger. Yes, this is a possibility (a bit far-fetched, but not unrealistic). He disconnected the call either to save himself from imminent danger, or because of a danger that had already befallen him.

Certain perilous situations often demand our undivided attention. Disasters like earthquakes, fire, floods, etc often make people forget social protocols. Saving oneself becomes the priority. Other situations may need us to put our phones aside to think of a solution to get out of the mess. The point I am trying to put forward is that certain situations are to be prioritized in life over mere phone calls that can happen at any given time.

He hung up on you abruptly because danger does not warn anyone. Before getting mad at him for hanging up on you, think about what you would do in a similar situation. It can be said with surety that you too will forget an ongoing phone call in the face of immediate danger. It is okay to do so. It is okay to be scared. However, not even trying to understand a person’s circumstance (in which they disappointed you) is not okay.

#8 He was embarrassed about something

Your boyfriend hung up on you because he got embarrassed about something while you two were talking over the phone. Now, this one gets a bit funny. Embarrassments come in all shapes and sizes. It can occur in any form. It will surprise you, and might even shake you to the core.

Your boyfriend could have been embarrassed about something he said during the conversation. He must have blurted out a secret or a silly factoid about himself. Oversharing is often a source of embarrassment for us. However, instead of facing the embarrassment, your boyfriend has chosen to bury his head in the sand by hanging up on you.

Embarrassment can also be physical. A perfect example of physical embarrassment is flatulence, especially if it is loud enough for the person on the other side to hear. Certain funny bodily noises can cause embarrassment. For example, making a sudden snort-like noise while laughing or an involuntary change in the voice can bring embarrassment.

Ideally, there is nothing to be embarrassed about these things as they are pretty common, but people still do get embarrassed. That is how society has conditioned us. It teaches us to be the best version of ourselves and uphold a courtly demeanor even though it becomes exhausting at times.

What to do when your boyfriend hangs up on you?

It is okay to feel bad (or enraged) when your boyfriend hangs up on you. You might even feel like ending the relationship or going into a no-contact situation. However, I would advise you to act according to the scenario. Read the room before you make your move. These circumstances often invite the worst kind of misunderstandings. You might want to avoid that if you really like this guy.

No one is asking you to tolerate problematic behavior. However, before you get defensive think about whether your actions will blow up on you or not. But, if your boyfriend is actually being problematic, there are several options for you to choose from (as solutions to your problem). Keep reading.

#1 Wait for him to call back

Do not start calling him incessantly the moment he hangs up on you. You can try calling him one time. If he disconnects the call, stop calling him. Do not contact him again until he calls you back. Allow him some benefit of the doubt. He might have to attend to something urgent. Maybe, that is the reason why he hung up on you.

Most of us have a tendency to attach a negative undertone to the act of hanging up abruptly (as it is often negative). You should not assume everyone to be rude, especially not your boyfriend. You have known him for a while. Is he really a rude person? If the answer is “no,” then I think you will have to wait patiently for him to call back, and I know he will.

Repeatedly calling someone when they are busy can be a bit irritating for them. Your boyfriend hung up on you for a reason. He should be allowed to do whatever made him hang up while you wait. You do not have to sit idle. Stay busy with your life until he calls back. So much obsession over such an issue could be harmful to your mental health.

Your incessant calls can make things worse in this case. He may even end up snapping at you. People often say regrettable things when they are angry. Both of you may get angry at each other with the exchange of rude words in such a situation. Do not let a petty issue get the better of you guys.

If you two do not have a pre-existing feud, I am quite sure your boyfriend will call you back the moment he is free to do so. However, it may take some time. The amount of time he takes to call you back will depend on the kind of thing he has to focus on by hanging up on you. He might even apologize for his actions if he is a nice person.

Your patience will show him that you care for him and understand his plight. Such a gesture on your part could do wonders for this relationship. The way you act in this scenario could be an example for him to follow the next time a similar situation occurs (where you or anyone else has to hang up on him for a non-angry reason).

#2 Text him if he does not call you back

Wait for some time for him to call you back as recommended in the previous point. Drop a text if he does not call you back. Try not to send multiple texts. Your message should be short and clear, and it will be better if the text reflects your concern. Try not to be rude in the text. Let your boyfriend know that you are not mad at him for hanging up on you (based on the circumstance of course). However, your text should not have a mushy undertone either. After all, hanging up on someone without a warning is considered rude. Let your boyfriend know that too, with subtlety.

Here are a few ideas that can help you while texting. Feel free to explore.

• “Hey. Why did you hang up? Is everything okay?”
• “It has been some time since you hung up. Is everything all right?”
• “Are you okay? Call me once to are done.”
• “Are you there? Call me as soon as you can. I am worried.”
• “Do you need me to call you?”

#3 Call him after a few hours

Wait for him to call back. Text him if you want. If he still does not call you back, you can attempt to call him to know what he is up to. Again, you should not call him multiple times. Call him twice (maximum) and wait for him to respond. He will call you back once he is done with whatever he is doing. We have discussed so many reasons for his actions. He could be in a plethora of problems by now. Your calls could make things worse for him. Therefore, it is wise not to contact him much for the time being. He is not running away.

If your calls go unanswered, you can do something else instead of calling him back again and again. Contact his friends. It will be better if you contact a common friend. The job is to get information about your boyfriend. His friends might know something that you do not. If you are acquainted with his family, you can call them too. However, try not to scare them. Do not be the source of their anxiety. Also, you should only go to such extremes as calling his friends and family when you have not heard from him in hours. You need to be one hundred percent sure that he is not available on call or in the texting apps. Creating unnecessary panic amongst his kin can rightfully annoy him.

Your patience is the utmost necessity in a situation like this. It is okay to be angry at him for hanging up on you, mid-conversation. It is frustrating when you are not allowed to finish what you are saying. However, you can wait for that discussion to happen. Let him do what he is doing at the moment. Getting mad at him or even yelling at him can wait. He is not going anywhere, and you have the right to show your anger.

#4 Ask him whether he is serious about you or not

He hung up on you. There must have been something more important than talking to you ─ something that was a bigger priority. The next time you get to talk to him, ask what made him hang up on you. If you find his answer genuinely unsatisfactory, bring out the difficult question. Ask him whether he is serious about this relationship or not. It is important for you to know that before investing more of your time and energy into this relationship.

Now, before proceeding further, I must mention that this particular point is more applicable to situations where a person takes their partner for granted. This is a behavioral pattern. As I have mentioned earlier, you know your boyfriend more than anyone else. You know the good and bad aspects of his personality. With keen observation, you will be able to notice patterns in his behavior, especially when he is around you. It is a universal truth known by all that hanging up abruptly while talking to someone on the phone is rude. Has he been doing this for a while now? If the answer to this question is “yes,” then think about how he behaves with other people versus how he behaves with you while talking on the phone.

You will know he has taken you for granted when you find him being all nice and proper with other people (including his friends and family) while behaving rudely with you. He seems confident about the fact that you will never leave him. He thinks you have nowhere to go, and you will probably get no one better than him as a boyfriend. Clearly, he is delusional, and most importantly, you have zero importance in his life. He is not at all serious about it. His priorities lie elsewhere. This is a matter of concern if you have been serious about this relationship so far.

Talk to him about this issue and tell him that he can’t take you for granted. Tell him that you need him to prioritize you. A relationship is a two-way street. Only one person’s efforts can’t do anything for a relationship to survive. You have put in your efforts. The fact that you are here looking for answers, proves that. Ask him to put his share of effort into this relationship. Ask him to be a bit more serious. You can even tell him that it will not be possible for you to continue like this if he retains this rude behavior.

#5 Call him out if he is being rude purposefully

You need to call him out for his rude behavior if hanging up on you has turned into a pattern now. As we have discussed in the previous point, taking someone for granted is absolutely unacceptable. In this case, you should wait for some time before you make your move. Wait for him to call you back. Drop a text if he fails to do so in time. If that goes with a reply, call him to ask what is wrong with him. If any of the above does not work, go for the next step.

You can call him out for being rude on purpose. Tell him he is making you feel miserable and mention that he does not have any right to do that. You two are in a romantic relationship, and romantic relationships are supposed to be our happy places. Making you feel this way is only making you drift apart from him. Tell him it is not our responsibility to behave well in this relationship if he fails to be civil around you. You are not the emotional doormat he assumes you to be. Do not be a pushover that he can use as he pleases. Raise your voice no matter what the consequences are. No relationship is better than an emotionally abusive one.

You can call him out in front of his kin (common friends and family). Let everyone know how he behaves with you. Letting more people know about his rude behavior will help you learn more about his personality. You will get to know how he behaves with other people. If his behavior is similar to all the other people he talks to, then it is safe to assume that he is an entitled brat who does not care about other people’s feelings. Your boyfriend is a self-obsessed man who loves to love himself. He thinks everyone else is beneath him. You need to show him his place. Make him realize that he should not behave like this with other people and that he is not going to get away with his rude behavior this time. Do not worry about him breaking up with you. You will find someone who treats you well.

#6 Apologize if you have done something wrong

So far, we have talked about his fault. What about your part in this fiasco? Have you done something to make him mad, to annoy him? You will have to apologize if the answer is “yes.” He hung up on you, mid-conversation, probably because you said something that offended him. Try to back-track your steps like Hangover if you are not sure about what made him so mad at you. I am sure you will find your way to the reason.

Apologizing is a tricky job. Your boyfriend is clearly angry at you. He may not want to listen to what you have to say. It will be more difficult to convince him with an apology if the offense is a blunt one. However, be honest when you say sorry. Do not try to act smart by saying things like you did not know the meaning of the word (or words) you said. Your boyfriend is not a fool. Like every other adult, he understands what word is uttered with what intention.

Your apology should be unconditional, especially if he has said nothing to annoy you. He needs you to acknowledge your mistake. Your only way out of this fiasco lies in an honest apology. Do not say things like:

• “Will it be all right if I apologize?”
• “I am sorry, but it was not my fault alone.”
• “I am sorry! Can you quit acting like this now?”
• “I am sorry, but I don’t think I have said anything wrong.”
• “I don’t know where I went wrong, but I am sorry.”
• “I apologize, but was that really offensive? Aren’t you being a little extra?”

#7 Ask him if he is all right and offer help

You can ask him if he is all right the next time you two speak over the phone. Show that you are concerned about him. Tell him that you were worried when he hung up on you. He is your boyfriend. Try to be compassionate about this matter, especially if hanging up on people is not something that he does often. People can have emergencies, and it is okay to hang up a phone or two during such situations.

Ask him how he is doing, but do it without nagging. Do not repeat the same question if he refuses to answer. He might be dealing with a lot right now. Your incessant questions (the moment he starts talking to you) will overwhelm him. He might enter a no-contact situation because of this. He will share his problem with you only when he is ready. Try to put yourself in his shoes for a while and you will understand a part of his plight.

Ask him if he was in danger. You can offer to help him out in dealing with the issue. However, do not nag him into accepting your help. Let him move at his own pace. He will ask for your help if he has a genuine requirement. However, letting him move at his own pace does not mean you will take up a laid-back stance in this situation. Try not to behave like you don’t care. The fact that you care will act as a mental support for him. He will be glad to know that you are there for him whenever he needs you.

Tips and life hacks

A few points to be noted:

• Do not bother him with texts and calls if he says he is busy. Acting like that might jeopardize your relationship.
• Think twice about a relationship where your partner behaves rudely with you on purpose.
• Try not to start a fight. Be patient and act with maturity, instead. Your calmness can be your biggest weapon.
• Do not chide him over technical issues that may have forced him to hang up on you. He is probably feeling bad about that already.
• You should always listen to their side of the story before getting defensive about the situation. An exchange of harsh words can only bring more damage.