My Boyfriend Has No Friends: Is It a Red Flag?

We like to date someone who is popular or who keeps the kind of people whose company we too shall enjoy. It is an unsaid expression where your friend circle expands and you hang out with them. However, when put in a situation where you come to understand that the guy you have been dating has no friends, won’t you find it queer? 

Making friends and keeping them tells a great deal about a person’s personality. However, not having them frees their earthly ties. These people are lonely and often have a dark past. Is it wise to date such someone? Read below to find out. 

Reasons why your boyfriend has no friends 

It is possible that he switched cities or migrated to a new country. He failed to stay in touch with people from his past and then he found you and focused all his time and action towards keeping you happy. 

However, there can be more to this when you come to think about it from different angles. Continue reading below to decode the various possibilities as to why your boyfriend has no friends. 

#1 He is an immigrant 

If you are dating a guy who is new to the country or whose occupation and field of work are transferable due to which he keeps on switching continents, it is understandable to not have friends. However, not having friends should not be confused with a lack of resources or networking. 

While a guy might not have friends, which by the way, you will find that most successful people around the world don’t have friends, he must have contacts. He should be someone who is so strongly independent in his thoughts and convictions that while he does not need to run to a certain someone to bare his heart out or to seek validation, he knows people at his fingertips who would owe him a favor. I might be making him sound like a godfather, but his reputation should be nothing less. 

What to do if the guy doesn’t even have a network? No human resources, no networking, and no friends or acquaintances put you in a danger zone. Such a someone cannot be trusted because he doesn’t have anyone to validate his actions or his past. You would solely have to rely on his words and trust him rather than get an account of his past from others. 

If you are still in love with him and find yourself in quite a fix, perhaps ask him about his past colleagues, and his past girlfriends. Tell him to share some memories and show some photographs to enable you to relate better. 

#2 He is an outcast  

If your boyfriend has had a dark past, something that he isn’t proud of, if he gets silent when you ask him about his past, or if he has told you that he doesn’t like talking about his past or that he will familiarize you with his past when the time is right, then it is for the best to fasten your belt and be prepared for the worst. You might be dealing with a criminal here. 

He might be innocent, or you might be his next victim. He might be someone who is on the run, perhaps a fugitive. You can never be too careful, however, acting with caution is advisable when you are dealing with someone so closely and you see the possibility of a shady business. 

You can understand more about this by checking his social media profiles. Look him up and connect with him on all the platforms. It will give you all the details of his past activities, the people and connections he maintains, the firms he has worked with, and the schools and institutions he has been in. If nothing is available on the Internet, if he makes lame excuses such as he has never been an Internet guy, do not buy the crap. He is faking it all. Make the quickest escape you can and if possible make it a piece of public knowledge because this guy might turn out to be potentially more dangerous than you can imagine. 

To know more on this subject, click on the link below.

Related Read: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Take Me On Dates (12 Reasons and Tips)

#3 He is evil (harmful, never does good to anyone, brings bad luck) 

If the guy is moving around intending to victimize women, if he is a misanthropist, you would be able to sense it. It is not always that he will be able to keep up with his game of pretension. Use those weak moments for your benefit. Trigger him further so that he is edged to put it all out. Don’t let go of the moment till he confesses the lies or till you are convinced that the story is air-tight. 

Mind you, the act of purging him, and helping him to overcome his vicious side or shortcoming so that he becomes a better person is not your thing to do. Don’t try to educate the guy. It will only make it more difficult for you. 

It could also be that due to his bad judgment or negligence, he is ranked low in the books of others. Try to understand the social point of view. Since there are no friends to account for him, it becomes a mandate to meet his family. If he even hesitates in making you meet them, he is hiding something hideous. There is a possibility that he is not on good terms with them either, and it is only a matter of time before this catches up with you too.

#4 He is antisocial (but fell in love with you, was quite unprepared to) 

Perhaps the guy’s political and social views are so radical that it is difficult to put him under any defined breadth of knowledge or school where his philosophy matches with others. This could mean only two things. The first is that he will found a new school of discipline which may get acknowledged by the current generation and bring him tremendous fame. 

The second, that he will be ridiculed for his thoughts and anti-communist ways till the end. In this case, his life will be more suffering unless he has inherited a big fortune from his family. Try to contemplate which one is the case here, and make your call wisely. The stakes are high and the chances that the guy might get strongly attached to you are also high. Leaving him vulnerable or ditching him out of the blue is not the fix here. You will have to appeal to his reason and come up with strong counterpoints to subside the whole case.

#5 He is an introvert (who pens his thoughts, perhaps a writer) 

If the guy is an introvert, his reputation might have remained unfurled without receiving any regard from anyone. Perhaps in this case, you will discover a secret diary where he pens down his thoughts and maintains a log of everything. 

The guy has to love to journal. He might even be a blogger or a social influencer who is very popular for well-attained reasons and has many followers but no friends because he feels that a friend will only want to profit from him. 

It would also make him a nihilist, and you will find him to be very skeptical of people’s purpose and intentions in life. As such, life with him will not be easy. He will have the potential to become a notorious misanthropist or chauvinist who likes to work in silence and follows a very serious principle of taking revenge and keeping things even in life.

#6 He is catfishing (pretending to be someone he is not) 

Perhaps the guy is merely setting a trap for you by being around at all places where you go. If you are a rich entrepreneur or come from a strong and great lineage of wealthy ancestors, this might have tempted the guy to secure pieces of information about you and behave in a certain way to get your attention. 

How to understand if a guy is catfishing? Well, I have prepared the following listicle for you to guide your way. 

• He pretends to be a nobody but with a significant trait that makes him attention-worthy in your eyes
• He doesn’t allow you to ask questions as he is too quick with his moves
• He only shows off the money until one day when he comes up with an offer that levels up with all your needs and requirements, a proposal that he is sure you would invest in 
• He never talks about friends or family
• His social accounts are invalid, or up to no good 
• He is not easy to catch in a frame, he never poses and makes vague excuses for not wanting to take a selfie
• He is an amazing storyteller 

You should try to test him for all these qualities and see for yourself. If he was catfishing you, it is advisable to report it to the police because this is not something that he must have done for the first time. Trying to stay a step ahead will at least enable you to match up with his thought process.

#7 He wants to keep it no-strings-attached 

He isn’t revealing his identity or his people because he isn’t serious about you. It is all a part of his master plan where he is trying to work a relationship out of the bond you share for his due advantage. The difference between him and a guy who catfishes is that this one is not a dishonest person. If you ask him what he wants or any of the definite questions, he will answer them honestly by making statements such as he finds you too beautiful and wants to know you intimately. 

In such a case, you either will get carried away in your feelings for him and work out an equation that suits both of you or you will appreciate his honesty and change this into a platonic friendship. To know more, click on the link below.

Related Read: My Boyfriend Goes to Bars Without Me: Is It Okay? | Let’s Find

#8 He is deformed 

If the guy is physically challenged or has a deformed face, it might make it difficult for him to secure friends. His deformity might gain his sympathy and certain merits as provisions in the society and institutions in terms of opportunity but not love or amity. This is how the hypocritical society functions. 

Now think for yourself, why are you talking to him? What is it about him that appeals to you so much? Perhaps it is the way he thinks of you as a goddess. He worships you. It makes you feel that no one has loved you so strongly. You fail to see that while his love is true, it is so because you let him love you. Your treatment of him isn’t that of a beast. 

This might sound like the fairytale of the beauty and the beast but he here might be the damsel in distress who has been kept locked in a tower where he could peer through the shams of the deceitful society. He found you different. 

However, now that you are conscious of certain facts, you might deem his love in alight where it might not appeal too proportional. What to do in this case? Well, nothing much. If you both can find ways to make your world beautiful then why care about the world? Hang on a little longer and if not a lover, you can always have a great friend in him.

What are the difficulties that you might face if you continue to date him?

Challenges could be plenty and sticking by someone who doesn’t have a friend can be arduous for you would have no one to run to when your boyfriend puzzles you with his conduct, there will be no credibility to his actions, and his life will become all about you. 

To know more, continue reading below. 

#1 He won’t have a life outside of you 

A guy without friends would either be a workaholic or devoted to you. In which case, you might find the equation more perplexing and overwhelming, rather than balanced or powerful. You won’t get a break or some space even when you need one unless you can establish certain ground rules and express the roles that you wish to play in each other’s lives. 

It would be interesting to see his conduct with your friends. If he vibes with them and they like him as well, it will provide you with some certainty and understanding. If he complains about them and changes into a nagging boyfriend, the last thing that you would want in the world would be to continue to date him. 

#2 You won’t enjoy his company as much 

Your relationship would only be about the two of you. Your friends might not like him. It will give you a hard time and might bring bad luck unless he is a man of hobbies and colors rather than of moods. If he can take you into a world of adventure filled with books, sports, and music, then why care for anything else, right? 

Think of E.L. James’ popular character Christian Grey. He didn’t have friends, right? Would you want to date him? I can see you nodding there. Well, any girl would. The guy is a treat. He is exquisite. He is not only a billionaire, he is a man of hobbies. He is passionate about his pursuits. You will enjoy with him. 

Hence, you know the essential quality that you wish to see in your boyfriend. You don’t want him to be a bore. Friends or no friends, if the guy is dumb and lacks social skills or sound knowledge, he is better to be left alone. 

#3 You will always be skeptical about him 

A guy without friends will keep you in doubt. You would want to be watchful because you will be too afraid to be vulnerable. As such, while he might give you reasons to enjoy his company, he won’t be able to gain your absolute trust. You will question his intentions and his past, for there will be no one to give credibility to his words and actions.

The idea of cross-checking his personality or what people make and think of him, whether they mock him or praise him, will be out of the question here. Hence, he either needs to give you strong reasons for such a lack of people, or sooner or later, the reality itself will catch up and you might see yourself at the exit door. 

#4 He might not be available for long-term 

If he is an immigrant or a soldier, due to which he might not have many friends, he might not be able to stick around you for a very long time. This is a strong disadvantage as it will keep him more aloof as a character. He would come to you for pleasure. He won’t rely on you for emotions. If he loves his trade, he will come across as a strong and rough personality who is too pragmatic. 

You won’t be in the capacity to defy the purpose for it will be wider and more meaningful than your bond with him. He might prove to be the jack of all trades but still might fail in love. You don’t want to be a helpless lady longing for her lover. 

It will prove to be a life of suffering, devoid of inspiration. Such a someone would hardly be a family man. He would have higher dreams, to explore the world, to travel, to meet new people, and to understand their culture. Settling down would not be on his list.

#5 Difficult to pose 

You won’t feel confident, or the eyes and looks of society will come darting at you if he is deformed or physically challenged in any way. It will be difficult to pose with him. People might question your love for him. 

They might suspect you of a hideous motive if the guy is wealthy. You would be called a gold digger. If you love the guy earnestly, it will give you the strength to fight all the battles. If you are uncertain of your commitment or devotion, it is better to leave now than to break his heart.

What to do if your boyfriend has no friends?

Help him to make friends. There won’t be a problem with him if he can make friends. If there is a problem, you will be able to spot it. It will help you to give a fair judgment and enable you to make the right call. 

To know more, continue reading below. 

#1 Dig into his past 

A study of the guy’s past, his family lineage, his family free, his travels, his social movements, his political views, and his commitments, among others, will help you to understand his current sequence of actions. It will provide you with a better position to analyze his behavior and to create an understanding in between. 

When you are convinced of his purpose, you understand his motives, you understand what draws him forth, and you will want to be with him. This is important. To want to continue, to yearn for his company, would show his appeal to you. That would make it worthwhile. 

You might wonder how to do the digging. It can be done through confrontations, digging the library, looking up newspapers, and asking his neighbors but in a succinct way so that it doesn’t look like an investigation. The more subtle you are in your ways, the more you will be able to enjoy the situation.

#2 Observe his conduct with others 

Observing how the guy behaves with you will keep your view of him limited and personalized. What you need to do here is widen your scope by expanding the horizon and gaining a collective view or popular opinion on the same. 

How he thinks of you, what he makes of you, how people think of him, how people make of him and you together, and why, these are the essential and meaningful questions. There is nothing sublime about it. 

When you attempt to fetch the answers to these questions, you might face hiccups, deviation, and distraction; it is advisable to not lose hope in your purpose or the focus of the case here. After this, whatever you do, you will be able to support it convincingly with the right set of credibilities rather than from some vague secondhand ideas. 

#3 Check his identification proof 

What is better than checking the official records to know that the person is telling the truth or fabricating a tale? Don’t limit yourself merely to one document. More than the identification and address proof, check his academic records. 

It will not only show you how bright he was as a student but also the institutes he went to. He may have friends but he is not very proud of them. It means that his friends might not be the set of people whom you would want to know or go out with. 

If the guy is from a socially inferior class and is very conscious of his station in life, he will hesitate to confide in you. It also means that he doesn’t trust you enough. Before working your way to gaining his trust, ask yourself why you want to do it. Are you genuinely interested in the guy? 

Keep your plans ready. Plan A if you discover everything good and noble about his character, what will you do, how will you explain your skepticism; plan B if he turns out to be the one you were fearing and loathing, what shall be your course of action then; and plan C if it is a conglomeration of both sets of characteristics. This will prevent you from getting caught off-guard.

#4 Check his police record 

If you are clouded with doubts and you feel threatened, it is better to check police records and take legal advice. It will help you to understand the right and fair course of action. You can also seek legal protection from the police if the need arises. 

It is also advisable to keep your parents in confidence when you feel that the stakes might be high. Don’t be scared of confessing your mistakes or poor judgment.

#5 Take him out with your friends 

Taking him out with your friends will provide him with a wonderful opportunity to make new friends and establish new relationships. It will bring you the opportunity to cross-check his story. If there falls a shadow between his instinct and affected behavior or whether he is free of pretentious will steer clear. 

You will also get to learn from your friends as to what they make of him. Since your friends know you well, there is no fooling around with them. They will be able to direct you to the right angle. We take the advice of our acquaintances before making small decisions, finding a prospective boyfriend in a guy with no friends ranks highest on the list, and it is neither a crime nor something to be ashamed of. If anything, you should be proud of your choice while staying open to sound and reasonable opinions.

#6 Meet his parents 

Meeting his family will give you a clear picture of his background and lifestyle. It will help you to connect the dots when you look back. If he agrees to show you to his parents and he is comfortable in doing so, it also proves that he holds you special and is proud of you. You will be able to see it in his eyes when he shows you around. How he introduces you is certain to make a difference.

#7 Help him start afresh (by making friends and boosting confidence) 

If his past had limited his ability to make friends, you can act as a boon by enabling him to start afresh and withdraw the behavior that was causing the tenacious ruling-out behavior. When you go out with him or introduce him to your colleagues, people will look at him after they have looked at you. In most cases, they will hold a favorable opinion of the guy because they hold you in high esteem and respect your choices. He will become more confident of himself and you might see a zeal within him to do better.

#8 Break up 

If he doesn’t help you find the answers or gets passive-aggressive about the whole matter, it is wise to split up. Don’t invest your energy somewhere where it is not well endured or respected. Moreover, you are breaking up after you have tried your best but got nothing in return from the other end. It is fair and you will not have any guilty conscience. While there are many ways to break up, the best course is by revealing the truth. Don’t fall into the trap of second chances unless he shows and proves things to you. 

Tips 

• Don’t judge a book by its cover. Look for the stack of satisfactory quality in your boyfriend. If he appeals to you in manifold ways and has not given you any reason to regret your choice then stop being skeptical.

• Unfolding histories are important. Knowing about each other’s past and family will help you stick up to each other’s expectations and perform better. Rather than portraying yourself as an insecure girlfriend, shift the angle to show yourself as a girlfriend who wants to give her 100 percent. 

• It is important to trust but it is equally important to act with caution. If you think something is worth reporting, do it. You don’t always get trigger warnings or second opportunities, hence it is better to not risk your safety. If he is a decent guy with nothing to fear, he will see your concern and appreciate your prudence.