Why Does My Boyfriend Go Out Every Weekend (+How to Deal)

Going out on weekends is not a crime. Your boyfriend has the right to spend some time on his own. Everyone (and that includes you) deserves some “me-time.” Your boyfriend goes out every weekend to spend his share of me-time, doing what he loves with or without the company of his choice. It helps him rejuvenate his mind. Your boyfriend goes out on weekends to clear his mind off the convoluted thoughts and worries of the week.

If you two are in a live-in relationship, his going out on weekends is actually healthy for the relationship (but only to a certain extent). Spending some time apart can help a couple put things in perspective.

We live in a fast-paced world that often takes a toll on our mental health. We have to multitask all the time with our work and home, and our family and love life in the tow. Therefore, spending some time to unwind the mid is an utmost necessity (not just for your boyfriend, but also for you).

However, there is a flip side to everything. If your boyfriend uses his weekends to get rid of spending time with you, then I would advise you to think about the future of the relationship. You will have to rethink the equation you have with him and whether he is worth your time and attention. You would not want to spend the best years of your life in a dead-end relationship that adds no value to your life whatsoever.

There are so many other perspectives on this issue, and through this blog post, we will make an attempt to go through most of them. Let’s get into his mind and find out the reasons for his actions. That way, we will also be able to come up with suitable solutions to deal with your problem. Read on.

Reasons why your boyfriend goes out every weekend

Your boyfriend tends to go out every weekend because he likes to socialize (at least that is the most feasible reason for his action). He could be an extrovert and extroverts often need the company of a crowd of humans to survive. He loves being around people, and weekends are his only opportunity to socialize as his weekdays are committed to the job that earns him his daily bread.

You are here, looking for answers, because you have a bit of a problem with the fact that your boyfriend goes out every weekend. That is probably because you are not an extrovert like him. You like to stay indoors and choose your company wisely. You miss him during weekends because you like his company and want to spend more time with him. You have spun your world around him while he has so many other people to include in his life. You are emotionally dependent on him while he has dozens of friends to talk to. He can survive without you in his life while you will probably have a mental breakdown if he stays away from you for a week.

We acknowledge your issues and we empathize with them. Let’s dig in to find out more about your boyfriend and the reasons behind his absence during weekends. Scroll down.

#1 He likes to socialize

It is a fact well known that humans are social beings. This particular aspect differentiates them from most other species. However, some humans are introverts while others are extroverts. Quite opposed to your nature, your boyfriend falls in the second category. He likes to socialize.

Weekdays are busy for him and most other people (including you). That is why weekends are his time to meet his friends and spend time with them. Weekends may have a different purpose in your life, but that does not mean your boyfriend will change his entire personality to accommodate your lifestyle.

You have a problem with him going out probably because you are less social than him. You like to spend your weekends at home, catching up with that extra bit of sleep that you lose during the busy week. Going out to meet people does not hold much value in your life.

However, terms like “sleep,” “rest,” and “leisure” are not that important to him. Going out and meeting people is his thing, and most importantly, he is comfortable doing that. He loves to be around people. He loves talking and listening to them. The exchange of words and experiences is precious to him. He values the unique stories he comes across each weekend.

#2 He wants to stay away from you

Your boyfriend goes out every weekend because he wants to stay away from you. For some reason, spending time with you has turned into an excruciating task for him. Depending on the kind of person he is, the reason behind his behavior can be silly or serious. I have listed a few reasons below. You can go through them to look for the one that suits your cause.

• He is bored in this relationship: He can avoid you by going out every weekend (without you) if he is bored of this relationship. Weekends provide him with the perfect opportunity to stay away from you for a considerable period of time. He looks forward to spending time without you because this relationship has gone stale for him. He is not being able to derive any kind of pleasure from this relationship. He is bored of talking to you, going out with you, spending time with you at home, or even your presence. He gets irritated by your existence in his life. Now, you may ask me why is he still in this relationship with you. Why is he dragging it? The answer lies in his inherent politeness. He is tired of this relationship but he is too polite to end it. He does not like you but he does not like hurting you either. This caring attitude comes from the residual feelings left in him for you. His conscience is making him wait for the perfect time to let you know about his intentions. He does not want you to feel bad and breakups are supposed to feel miserable. Finding out a solution to his problem is a difficult task and he has chosen that difficulty willingly.
• He feels constricted in this relationship: He goes out every weekend because he feels constricted in his relationship with you. Your affection smothers him. As a matter of fact, different people have different attitudes towards love and relationships. He wants a breezier one while you are all for the passionate kind. You two are clearly not on the same page here, and when it comes to relationships, not being on the same page can wreak havoc. He likes you but he also wants to be free. He is not a homebound person. His weekend escapades do not mean he is leaving you forever. However, he might harbor the hope of having a relationship that understands his lifestyle and does not constrict him like the present one. Well, he can’t be blamed for that.
• He is mad at you about something: Now, this one is applicable when he has been going out every weekend for the past few months. He is mad at you about something. For couples who live together, work stress on weekdays leaves little time for them to see each other. Weekends are the perfect time to spend time. Your boyfriend is so annoyed that he is willing to let go of the weekends. He does not want to spend time with you. Observe him carefully and you might find him making the least amount of interaction with you during the weekdays. You must have really messed up big time to make him this mad. However, it may not always be your fault. Misunderstandings can also make a person mad at their partner, and it happens more often than you think.
• He needs some “me-time”: Your boyfriend goes out every weekend because he needs some time to spend on his own. He needs some “me-time,” and that means staying away from you. Refer to the point where I talked about getting smothered by affection in a relationship and feeling constricted in love. This is a valid reason to crave the coveted “me-time,” but there are other reasons too. You may not be the reason for his weekend getaways at all. He likes to spend some time on his own and he will do it even if you two are on great terms. It is like a personal tradition for him. It is probably good for his mental health. Not going out on weekends makes him cranky.

#3 He has an obligation (read tradition) to spend time with his friends or family

Speaking of traditions, some people have certain family traditions in which they need to spend time with their families. Your boyfriend spends his weekends with his family, and he can get extremely emotional about it. The family time is a willful obligation for him. He probably looks forward to the weekends. This also means he is quite close to his family.

The fact that you are here denotes that you have a bit of a problem with this aspect of his life. You do not like the idea of him going out every weekend. You might not like what I am going to tell you. It can be a tad bit disappointing. Now, let me be very clear about this. Your boyfriend prioritizes his family. He loves spending time with them. However, that does not mean he is not in love with you. His feelings are not related to what he feels for his family. If you two stay together, under the same roof, then spending weekends with his family does not seem unjust. He spends the whole week with you. He thinks his family deserves a part of his time. After all, they raised him to be the person you are dating today. It is still not unjust to spend weekends with the family if you two live separately. You still get to spend the week with him when his family only gets the weekends. For him, it is like a pleasant duty towards his family.

Your boyfriend loves spending time with his family. Look at the bright side here. He prioritizes them. The idea of “home,” and “a family” is important to him. He will probably treat you with the same importance if you plan a future together. I know, that too much attachment to the family can be considered a red flag, but the fact that he treats them with so much importance can be considered a green flag too. I will leave the rest for you to deal with. You know him better than anyone else.

Nevertheless, your boyfriend’s weekend visits to his family can also be a result of pure obligation. He has to visit them even if he does not want to. It is like a social protocol. Family traditions often fail to take people’s comfort into account. This happens especially in old families. If your boyfriend comes from old money, visiting his family would mean that he will get to have a proper claim to the fortune. There are so many more complicated reasons for him to visit his family every weekend. Every family has their own little secrets, and it is better to leave them alone with whatever they are trying to conceal over the weekend. I hope you have The Invitation. If you have watched it, you will know what I mean. If you have not, go and watch it as soon as you can.

#4 He is cheating on you

Well, it is as clear as daylight. Your boyfriend goes out every weekend because he is cheating on you. Weekends are his time to get away to nurture the forbidden part of his life. He would never want you to be interested in his life at this point. The more aloof you are the happier he is. However, the fact that you are scrolling through this article is bad news for him.

When one person falls out of love, the inevitable breakup comes with a bout of humiliation and embarrassment for the other (don’t even get me started on the part where you feel bad and your mind goes numb). To be honest, there is nothing we can do to eradicate the sad feelings, but we can explore ways to reduce the embarrassment. Every failed relationship shows some early signs ─ signs like the one we have just discussed. Try to read these signs.

Look for signs that support this point in your boyfriend’s daily behavior. Here are a few to help you out:

• He smiles while texting.
• He is on the phone all the time.
• He has suddenly changed his phone password.
• He is not hanging out with his friends anymore.
• He never receives phone calls while on his weekend getaways.
• He prefers texts over calls whenever he is not with you.
• You have caught him lying on more than one occasion.
• He has been coming home late lately.
• He smells different.
• He acts cold around you.

#5 He is learning a new skill (or practicing a hobby)

Your boyfriend loves learning new things. He uses his leisure to be creatively productive. He goes out every weekend to learn a new skill. He could also be practicing a known hobby in seclusion. Creativity needs calmness. It requires a person’s undivided attention and a lot of concentration (especially if the skill involves intricate details). His weekdays are filled with chaos just like yours. He needs the weekend getaways to be happy for a while.

He must have joined a class to learn something new. It can range from fitness-enhancing activity classes to pottery-making classes. He can go to the nearest woods to practice photography ─ a hobby he almost neglected because of his nine-to-five job. This is just one exemplary instance. You can try to find out his hobbies and interests through conversation. He can learn anything under the sun. He is a curious learner and a disciplined one too. So much so that you are here looking for reasons why he is always absent on weekends.

Learning new skills or practicing hobbies by staying away from you on weekends does not mean he has fallen out of love. He is a pretty mature person who knows how to keep his life separate from the relationship. He knows you may not like what he likes. He knows your interests are not bound to be similar even if you two have been in a relationship for years. He respects your individuality and wants you to do the same. He would not have a single problem if you decide to spend your leisure doing things you like. Well, that is the definition of a mature relationship.

#6 He is extremely stressed at work

Your boyfriend may need a weekend getaway if he is stressed at work. In this fast-paced world, people are often overworked. Their weekends are mostly filled with work-related pressure and office chaos. The extreme stress that we are discussing can arise from being in a post that requires him to be responsible for a lot of things. A managerial position can bring in added stress in life with the accountability it comes with. A job is not just about the money.

Unchecked work stress can make a person sick ─ mentally or physically. A professional can’t really “check” their work stress. They can try to cope with it instead. That is what your boyfriend is doing over the weekends. He is trying to make his already stressed-out life a bit more bearable. Doing things he likes on weekends makes the upcoming week more tolerable for him. This can happen especially if he is in a dead-end job that he does not like just as Chandler from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. He just wants the week to be over. He looks forward to the weekend.

Now, the legit question to ask here should be: Why does he not let you be a part of this? That is because he probably seeks solitude on weekends. He may need solitude to work on something creative as we have discussed before. He may need solitude to meditate and detoxify his mind. He wants to stay away from human connection for a while (and that includes you). He may not even include his friends on his weekend getaways. He gives immense importance to the me-time he gets to spend after an overworked week.

However, if he spends his unwinding weekends with his group of buddies, there is nothing to worry about until things turn really suspicious. Hanging out with friends can be a good stressbuster. I am sure it works even for you. He never seems to include you in those weekend trips because he thinks you will feel like a fish out of the water among his friends. He thinks you will feel bored listening to their endless discussions. Your boyfriend has a like-minded group of friends who share what he feels. They seem to be happy in each other’s company.

#7 He loves travelling and you do not

Why doesn’t his happiness lie in being with you? Believe me, it does, but most people can’t survive with just one person to share their life with. One can’t expect their partner to be passionate about the same things they like. Your boyfriend loves to travel and you do not. That is why he leaves you on weekends to pursue his happiness alone, or with like-minded friends. Not having the same likes and dislikes does not mean you two are incompatible with each other. You should know that you two are two different individuals. You guys have the right to be passionate about entirely different things.

In a mature relationship, you should be able to go on with your life with or without your boyfriend on your side. He loves traveling and you do not. You love to binge on movies and TV shows with an indulgent order of takeaway on your plate. It is okay to be like that. Your boyfriend has found his happiness in something that does not involve you. The happier he is, the better he will be in the relationship. You can try out the same thing instead of pining over him on weekends.

Let’s get something very clear about the situation. No matter what, your boyfriend is going to travel out on weekends. He will not ask you to accompany him as he knows you do not share his passion for this. He is an explorer. Not going on these weekend tours would suffocate him. He may develop mental health issues without his weekend getaways. There is nothing wrong in doing what one loves with or without people who share similar passions.

#8 He holds a deep dark secret

Your boyfriend goes out on weekends because he holds a deep dark secret. He is definitely hiding something from you. It can be anything under the sun. He can have a disturbing family secret like the movie Ready or Not. He can have a personal secret creepy enough to flip you out. He stays absent on weekends to attend to something related to his secret. He has his reasons for not sharing it with you. He probably thinks you will not be able to tolerate the fact. He thinks he might lose you over this.

Your boyfriend having deep dark secrets can be a legitimate matter of concern for you. It can even be dangerous at times. Not knowing the person you are dating is not a wise thing to do. The fact that you are looking for answers here proves that he is successful at hiding whatever secret he harbors. Let’s talk about two scenarios here. One deals with the dangers of being in such a relationship, while the other deals with staying willfully oblivious to his actions.

A relationship in which your significant other hides things from you and stays away for entire weekends can be dangerous. Do you really know your boyfriend well? Are you sure he is not a predator waiting to strike you at the right moment? People with deep dark secrets often have deep-seated issues (mostly unresolved) that can be harmful to others. Your boyfriend could be an offender (who has not been nabbed by the law yet). If that is the case you could be in imminent danger. Try to look for signs that prove he is being suspicious. You see him regularly, and that is why you will know his behavior better than me.

It is important to mention that deep-dark secrets do not always translate into lawlessness. Sometimes people with past trauma can act in weird ways that seem unexplainable to other people. Your boyfriend is probably dealing with mental health issues. He is suffering silently. He remains absent from your life on weekends because that is the time he deals with his psychological issues. He probably visits his therapist on weekends. He does not want to bother you with his problems, and that explains the suspicious behavior. He thinks you will not understand him (like many other people in his past). He is scared of opening up to anyone. He is afraid of sharing his emotions just like Bruce Willis’ guest character from F.R.I.E.N.D.S. called Paul (father of Ross’s weirdly young girlfriend Elizabeth) who dated Rachel briefly for about two episodes. He seemed like a stone-cold person in the beginning but after a lot of persuasion by Rachel to talk about his emotions he had a tearful outburst about his childhood issues and Rachel reacted poorly to it. She was insensitive and rude at times until he stopped at once (going back to the stoic man he was before). Your boyfriend is afraid of a similar situation. He thinks you will judge him for being too emotional. He is pretty lonely, I must say.

How to deal with the fact that your boyfriend goes out every weekend

As we have discussed earlier, going out on weekends is not a crime. Your boyfriend has every right to do so. You can also do whatever you like to spend your weekends. However, in this scenario, you will have to accept the fact that your boyfriend will not stay at home during weekends, no matter what the situation is.

With acceptance comes the ability to reason. Once you have accepted the situation, you will be able to use your voice of reason to get to the root of the problem. This particular situation is more about you than it is about your boyfriend. He is unaware of your problems.

The problem is yours and therefore, the solution will focus on you too. I have curated a list of probable solutions for you to consider in order to deal with the issues that are bugging you. Keep scrolling.

#1 Consider accompanying him in his travels

You two have a communication problem. If you want him not to be alone on his weekend travels, you can offer to accompany him on those. He loves traveling and nothing will ever make him stop doing that. If you are unable to find a way to deal with your weekend loneliness, go out with him to explore the local marshland or the nearest beach. Drive out to the closest bed and breakfast for a change. If you two have stark opposite personalities, try to work out a deal that makes both of you happy. Let me explain. For example, you love binge-watching movies with takeout on your plate, and your boyfriend loves traveling. You can combine both. Travel throughout the day, and reserve the evenings for movies and sinful food.

Conversation is key here. Talk to him about his passion. Try to show some interest in what he likes, so that he does not feel he is forcing you to go with him. Nothing about this situation should feel forced. Talk about places you have been to and would want to visit. You two can go through travel groups on social media to look for offbeat destinations and barely explored locations. The necessity is to be a part of the process. Participate in the pre-travel work with your boyfriend if you seriously want to travel with him. Take up responsibilities like booking hotels, renting cars, or finding good eateries and watering holes.

#2 Take necessary actions if he is cheating on you

Cheating in a relationship is absolutely unacceptable. You will have to take the necessary actions if you find him cheating on you. Your boyfriend goes out on weekends to be with someone else. If that is the case, his relationship with you has no value whatsoever. You are not important to him anymore. If he can attempt to find momentary happiness elsewhere, he can stay without you as well.

If you ask for my advice, I will recommend you to get out of this relationship. There is nothing left for you in it. Your boyfriend does not care about you anymore. It is not your job to carry the burden of this relationship entirely on your shoulders. It takes two people to do that. He is clearly not interested. Break up with your boyfriend as soon as you can.

To be honest, breaking up with him will hurt (especially if you two were in a long-term relationship). But, the more you drag the more pain you will feel. Do it quickly, just like ripping a band-aid off a festering wound. The quicker you quit the better you will heal. What your boyfriend did is condemnable, but that does not mean you will suffer. Try to find happiness elsewhere. The right person is waiting for you. You can even stay single for a bit.

However, do not forget to make him realize what he did with your words. Have a conversation in person. Be mature and do not cry while doing that. He does not deserve your tears. Tell him that you are leaving him for what he did. Inform all your common friends about the fact that he cheated on you. They will be on your side to support you. You should also ask him to pay any kind of money he owes you and pay him if you owe him any money. Do not keep any links for him to contact you again.

Love is a tricky thing. People fall in and out of love all the time. While falling in love feels like heaven, falling out of it feels more like a slow burn ─ it is painful, yet unstoppable. It is painful to watch the person you care for, slowly leave your side. Stopping them is futile because, honestly, who has ever succeeded in forcing someone into staying in love (especially when they clearly do not want to be in the relationship)? If he does not like being with you anymore, I don’t think you should try to keep him in your life. Let him go and find your own peace.

#3 Try to understand his problems and leave him alone on weekends

A mature relationship is one where two people understand each other, and give each other space. Your boyfriend goes out every weekend. If he is unwilling to involve you in this matter leave him alone. He probably needs solitude as we have discussed in the previous section. Hectic weekdays bring in mental fatigue for him. He goes out every weekend to unwind. He stays with you all week, you can spare him two days. It is not that difficult. Try to put yourself in his position and think of what you have done to deal with work pressure. You probably already do that in your own way.

Everybody has their own way of dealing with things. You can attempt to have a conversation with your boyfriend about his problems but do not nag him if he seems reluctant about sharing his thoughts with you. The best you can do for him is to let him do whatever he wants without asking incessant questions. However, do ask him to share his whereabouts so that you can reach him in case of an emergency.

#4 Find out what’s wrong

Talk to him. Ask him what is bothering him (only if he wants to talk about it). Try contacting his friends to find out more about his problems. Do not beat around the bush whenever you are having a conversation with him. Ask direct questions that address the problem you are facing with his weekend getaways.

Ask him if he is bored or tired of this relationship. Trust me, there are ways to deal with such an issue. The key is to know what is wrong. You can take action unless you know what the problem is. Ask him if he has a secret to share. Try to find out whether he has a mental health issue or not. He could be suffering silently in his bizarre secret. However, do not speculate things on your own. Try not to guess what is wrong with him based on whatever limited knowledge you have of him. Allow him the opportunity to speak ─ to share.

Offer him a safe space to speak his heart out. Do not be judgemental or impatient when he starts sharing his feelings and innermost thoughts. Do not pass comments or interrupt him while he is speaking. Let him speak his heart out. He probably just needs a good listener. He might look like he is okay, but he is hurting. Try to be his rock. He needs someone to hold on to.

#5 Come up with clever ideas to make him stay with you

Now, this applies when you are an impatient person seeking quick results. You clearly do not like the fact that your boyfriend goes out every weekend (alone or with friends). You can cook up ways to make him stay. However, I must warn you about this. Your plans may not always work (or, they may stop working after the first few times). Think of things that will interest him and might make him stay at home. Find out more about his likes and dislikes from his friends and family. You can even go through his social media profile to get a glimpse of his personality. You know him well, so this part will probably be a cakewalk for you. You might face a bit of a problem while planning the perfect weekend. Here is a list of a few things you can try out:

• Have a movie marathon with all his favorite movies lined up.
• Go on a date to the place where you two had your first date.
• Ask him to teach you a skill he is good at.
• Redecorate the home together.
• Surprise him by dressing up as his favorite character (like Ross and Rachel with the Princess-Leia-in-a-gold-bikini incident)
• Invite his friends over for a house party.

#8 Do whatever you like on weekends

You should not wait for him to be happy in your life. Learn to enjoy without him. There is more to life than boyfriends and relationships. You matter, and that is the most important truth of your life. Do whatever that makes you happy. Here are a few things to start with.

• Get a hobby – Start doing something you know and love. You can start a new hobby or revive an old one. Start collecting things. You can take inspiration from the book Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens (which is also a major motion picture now). You can even learn something new ─ maybe a new skill or a language. Look for interesting classes to attend in your area.

• Travel – Why should your boyfriend have all the fun? Travel if you want. You do not have to accompany your boyfriend on his travels if you do not want to. You may not like the places he visits. Build your own bucket list and set your itinerary accordingly.

• Sleep to your heart’s content – We do not get enough sleep in our fast-paced lives. You should definitely get some sleep on weekends. Let your boyfriend do whatever he wants. Focus on yourself. You can pamper yourself with a DIY facial kit or simply just a sheet mask. Brew some tea, shut the curtains, and take a blanket. I am sure you will sleep like a baby.

Tips and life hacks

A few points to be noted:

• Do not depend on your boyfriend for your happiness. Live your life on your terms and let him deal with his life on his own.
• Do not pester him to spend time with you on weekends. Just make a subtle offer. Let him go if he is not interested.
• Do not tolerate a cheating partner. He will only make your life miserable.
• Ask your boyfriend to see a therapist if you find him in agony.
• Try traveling with him once. You do not have to repeat that if it is not your cup of tea.