My Boyfriend Doesn’t Text Me Much Anymore: Is It Normal?

As the relationship gets older, the thought of remaining engaged in texts around the clock gets too much to keep up with. You get out of topics and it becomes dull. There occurs an unsaid expression that suggests that if there is anything urgent, you can get connected over a call. 

Hence, if your boyfriend has stopped texting you a lot, don’t panic. It can be a sign of a growing and mature relationship rather than a boring or flickering one.

In this blog post, I will discuss why your boyfriend doesn’t text you much anymore, and what should you do about it. Keep reading to know more. 

Reasons why your boyfriend doesn’t texts you much anymore 

He is afraid that there is nothing much left to share, and he might bore you to death. Hence, he is playing safe by not doing anything at all. You can try adding some spice to your relationship to make it better. 

Continue reading below to find out more.

#1 You are in a live-in relationship 

Possibly earlier you were in a long-distance relationship and now live together. The parameters and circumstances shift in such a case. 

While both of you wanted to make the most of every moment when you were in a long-distance relationship, in a live-in relationship, you are making the best of every moment. The wanting element has gone for good. 

Think of it this way, when your boyfriend knows that at the end of the day, he will come back to his apartment and find you there, then why will he explain everything that went by the day over text? 

He waits to return home to you and to share everything meticulously in person so that he gets to see your face, read your interpretations, watch your expressions, and feel delighted about everything. 

The error would have been if your boyfriend had not only stopped texting you much but also shared things with you. That would have come across as negative. Moreover, you can always text him to be sure that he is doing great. Simple texts such as You miss him from your end will keep a smile on his face.

#2 He keeps busy 

As and when we are dating a person, we are always trying to become better by touching newer milestones. there is growth in ourselves as we become better every day. 

What you were a year back, you won't be today. You have learned new skills, taken newer responsibilities, and are still making way for better opportunities. In the process, it is unjust to expect out to stick to older habits. You should be targeting to influence everyone around you to become a better and greater person too. 

Hence, when you started dating, your boyfriend might have been a juvenile but now he is working as an intern. He has undertaken newer responsibilities and is relentlessly working towards newer goals. If anything, you should encourage him to do the same, and simultaneously work on expanding and improving your domain too. Henceforth when you talk, you will talk about all the greater achievements and newer people that you have met and new friends that you have made.

If you keep holding and clinging to older habits, you won't be able to make space for incorporating the newer and better ones. Besides this, it is important to note that at the beginning of a relationship, you were in the ice-breaking process of getting to know each other. Now you are doing better. You share a certain level of confidence that shows that you know one another more than anyone else, and you feel comfortable with what you know inside out. Such affirmations go on to make the backbone of relationships, if you don't have this, you have nothing.

#3 He has a bad network 

If your boyfriend has had a change of location, that is, if he has moved to a new office, or if he is traveling and visiting some relatives, etc., these places might not be too well connected and your boyfriend might be experiencing persistent bad phone connectivity.

However, in such a scenario, you can encourage your boyfriend to inform you about it. Moreover, he can share the itinerary with you so that you are at peace regarding his whereabouts. Knowing where he is going and when will he be returning to his dormitory will enable you to keep things dynamic between both of you. 

Don't indulge in your insecurities. Practice giving reassurance to yourself. Have faith in your endeavors and the choices you make. Remember, when you are doubting your boyfriend, you are doubting yourself and your decision-making process. 

Put yourself in his shoes and try to share his point of view. If you were traveling and exploring new horizons, trying to build up contact with new people, would you rather wait to share all your experiences at once with your guy after you make your return home safely or would you keep sharing every detail spontaneously? 

While the latter is doable, it will only hamper the entire process and make your journey very slow. Hence, be more open-minded. Since you are already committed, it shows your willingness to take the risk with your heart. Trying desperately to ensure that your heart is not messed up will only worsen everything. 

#4 The relationship has lost the spark 

"Wanted wear" and "wear and tear" work on every occasion. At the beginning of a relationship, we all want to explore things and take things ahead in the spirit of unbidden enthusiasm. We urge to spend day and night together, and our heartaches and laments for all the moments spent away from each other. 

However, with time, and as we familiarise ourselves with the shallow side of men, things about us that we aren't very proud of when our vulnerabilities and insecurities stand exposed before our beloved, we stand shaken in a trance. 

While the peculiarities don't shock us, we begin to take things slowly. We realize that we also need time to process everything and trace our journey. In other words, the relationship begins to lose its spark. 

Your boyfriend might be in such a trance. He is taking time because he doesn't want to lose himself while making it work with you. Allow him the same. Be functional in the background. Send him sweet reminders, and be patient with him. Make him proud of his decision and commitment to you. 

To know more about losing the spark in a relationship, click on the link below.

Related Read: My Boyfriend Doesn’t Take Me On Dates (12 Reasons and Tips)

#5 He is going through something 

Perhaps your boyfriend is going through something that is making him less communicative. This could be a personal issue, such as stress or depression, or it could be something related to the relationship. 

The only way to know this is by talking to him. Such talks are better addressed in person rather than on call. Little gestures such as holding hands, nodding your face, kissing the forehead, and looking at them as they talk to show that you understand go a long way into building and maintaining a relationship. 

Express your willingness to be there with him in his thick and thin. He should know to be able to acknowledge that you are there to support him. The degree of investment should be stated clearly so that when he is stressed, the first thing that comes to his mind is to talk to you. 

If he still hesitates, help him recall all the events when you were low and he had willingly lent his shoulders to you. Tell him that it would be a privilege to be able to do the same for him. 

#6 He is trying to change the way you communicate 

If your boyfriend has stopped texting you as much, it could be a sign that he wants to communicate differently. Perhaps he was never a texting person but since you were more comfortable getting connected on text than over call, he was doing it your way. 

However, now that you both have come down a long way, he doesn't see why you could have trouble talking to him over call. 

Voice calls and video calls, both are very feasible options that allow you to not only connect but be with each other virtually by escaping the torment of the long distance that separates you in between. 

Many couples are scared of talking too much because they find the silence distressing. Connecting over the phone does not mean that you will always have to talk. The awareness that the other person is there present with you is good enough to keep you happy. 

Alternative ways to remain connected with your boyfriend if he doesn't participate in exchanging texts are by sharing memes, sending voice notes, talking over calls, sending love letters, and tagging in memes. If nothing works, start staying together. A live-in relationship will help you stay connected for as long as you want. 

#7 He wants you to text first 

This might look like a silly reason and make you feel that you are dating a man-child, but many guys are vainly egoist. It means that they have inflated egos but it is for all the wrong reasons. 

One such reason might be that he is the one to always text you first. Like a child, he will get all upset about it, and change such a small thing into a big issue. 

Early traces of such a behavior is when you find that the guy is always fussy, and keeps complaining about everything and everyone. You realize that he is just not a happy person. It is very difficult to please him. 

You have an either-or option to overrule the situation. Either you text him first and help him overcome his ego, or you leave him for a less vain person. The problem with the latter step is that if you leave him because he might show bits and parts of vanity, it shows that you are vain too. Plus, you might be attached to him so the whole part of overcoming the breakup will be taxing too. 

This doesn't end here. The process will continue with the next guy you date. If not exactly this, there will be a related issue. It is then that you will understand that the problem is in your approach. You might not have focused on the bigger picture. Your focus was more on escaping the problem rather than confronting it. However, until and unless you work on yourself first, the world will appear to be invaded by a group of shallow people. 

#8 He thinks you are betraying him 

If you spend more time with other people including guys and colleagues than you do with him, or if you prefer to spend time with others rather than your boyfriend, it will send him mixed messages. He will feel that you don't like him as much. This will lead him into thinking that you are betraying him. 

Practice transparency. With video calls and the exchange of media, being transparent in your conduct has become easier. When you go out with friends or on an office outing, call your boyfriend and show him around. Introducing your boyfriend to everyone will help him in trusting you. It will also encourage him in doing the same. 

The scope of cheating and betrayal will be shunned. You will have better problems to deal with. Remember, the worse kind of problem is the one that is in your head. It will trouble you and drain you without any significant reason. Hence, whenever you are in doubt, reach out to your boyfriend and take his help in clearing it out.

#9 He wants you to stop obsessing over him 

While we all like to spend time with our partners and disclose everything to them, what we will not like or admire is an obsessive disorder for the people we love. It is compulsory to have a life outside of your boyfriend. Maintaining a friend circle to hang out with will enable you to keep sane when your boyfriend is not around. Moreover, it will allow your boyfriend to see you with other people. He will be able to obtain a better view. This is important because we not only behave differently with different people but the kind of way in which we behave with our loved ones is far superior and different than the way we behave with others. 

The same behavior is expected out of your boyfriend, however, instead of bringing it to his notice verbally, try to lead by example. It will have a lasting impact and what you shall witness in return will be honesty.

#10 He likes to mess with you 

It might be a tactic to make you angry so that you get wild in bed. Yes, you read that right. If you have made a plan to meet him, and he didn't care to call you on that day to ask about your plan or whereabouts or to pick you up, the reason might be because he wants to deliberately mess with you. 

You will feel ignorant and get agitated. Sometimes you will see that out of nowhere, your guy will talk about other women and praise them. You will have a difficult time understanding the reason or purpose. 

You might even ask yourself why he would behave like a m*r*n when he can see that you are annoyed. This is a knowledge universally acknowledged that a girl cannot readily listen to greater things said about other women except about her best friend. Hence, your boyfriend is not doing it without a motive.

What to do when your boyfriend doesn't text you much anymore?

Switch to a better, quicker, and more reliable form of connection such as a video call. You will get a quick glimpse of your boyfriend, you will get to see where he is, and it will save him from long hours of futile word exchanges about petty talks.

When you want to convey something urgent, simply give him a call or leave a voice message in his inbox. Much texting is usually done when you are sitting idle. It is a sign of less productivity. If either of you are engaging at great length of texts, it means that you should rather put your phone away and pick up a book, or go down for a jog. 

It wasn’t so in the initial stages of a relationship because the heart yearns, aches, and longs to be with that person, but once the love fever is down, you look for stability with that person. To know this and understand more, continue reading below.

#1 Get demanding and talk to him about it 

This is perhaps the first step that will occur to you if you have been too accommodating and holding yourself back for too long, so we might as well talk about it. What will happen when you get demanding and try to talk about it with your boyfriend? Will he understand your concern and not repeat the process? Let us find out.

He will listen to you and acknowledge your concerns, yes. He might behave well or try to put up with your demands for a couple of weeks, granted. But will this not become a pattern and you will not go back to square one? Take a minute to think of the possibility here.

There is a greater chance that things will go back to the way it was and after a week of toleration, you will bring back the same concern again, and again until one day either of you might declare that it is not working and that the other person has changed.

Now ask yourself why does this happen? Can we prevent this? How? 

Let me answer one by one. It happens because while you stated the problem, you did not come up with a tactile solution. You left the job incomplete. Your boyfriend apologized and dismissed all your concerns with a forehead kiss. You got carried away with the enchanting power of the three magical words, and ta-dah back to square one! 

Yes, we can prevent this. The solution is simple, find one. Solve by talking to your boyfriend. Open your heart bare before him and ask him how to secure it. The best way is to find a better alternative or to set a time. Say his work gets over at 9 pm and after 9:30 he likes to chill. He doesn’t enjoy chatting much because the entire day he was sitting before the screen, explaining problems and chatting with his clients. He doesn’t want to treat his girlfriend like a client. 

How to help him here? Catch up for a movie. What you care about is spending time with your boyfriend, right? Why not go for a watch party together? Select a movie that both of you will enjoy and while you watch it together, there will be scenes that you would want to comment on and talk about. It will break the monotonous daily of your conversation by giving it a relaxing turning point. You will enjoy it as much as he. More importantly, he will appreciate it, and his fondness for you will increase. That is how you take baby steps toward maintaining a relationship.

#2 Start ignoring 

I bet that you might have already started doing it if not consciously then unconsciously. How long will this take you ins securing your boyfriend’s attention, and even if it does, will it also make him fonder of you, or will he get more inclined toward a female friend or colleague who feels for him and showers sympathy towards him? Let us find out.

If you start ignoring your boyfriend, one thing that it will certainly do is increase the distance between you and him. In the process, it will create a void in his life that will readily though not willingly attract other substitutes to satiate his emotional longings and understandings. You might feel that you are supposed to do anything but ignore your boyfriend. Well, that is not true either. 

Ignorance should be your last resort. Ignoring someone is not an easy play either. It is more difficult when you are addicted to talking with them. By ignoring also you will be putting effort and draining yourself. So what is a better alternative here? When you ignore, maintain a degree. Your boyfriend should understand that you are ignoring him. 

Perhaps open his texts but reply to him late. Stop calling him, or answering his call at once. Let his call go amiss, and return his call after a while. Keep your phone busy to make him curious about who you might be talking to. Live your life, enjoy it, click photos with your group, include guys in this group, and post it. You will see that the table will turn in no time. 

Now, play smart. Don’t allow him to exploit you in the name of love. Don’t be available round the clock unless it is very urgent. Be tender, and smart. Your priority should always be your sanity. By doing all this, you are setting a benchmark to show him how to give you royal treatment and love.

#3 Try to understand his reasons 

Is he giving you excuses or explanations as to why he is so unavailable? What is keeping him busy? Perhaps he is traveling or attending to his family, or worse, he is down with a fever. Did you hear him well? 

When he is dating you, he is obliged to give due explanations for his conduct to you. If he is not serious about you and has no intent to keep you then he will do and go whichever way his heart wants and takes him. 

Perhaps asking him the reasons, the way he says so will help you know if he is bothered by your concern or if he couldn’t care less. Based on his attitude towards the challenge that you are facing, you will be able to understand your importance in his life.

If he gives you a genuine reason, and if this behavior is temporary, and does not repeat itself unless he is having a very hard time, there is no reason or need to be upset. You should instead have a sympathetic approach towards him. Know him, acknowledge his reasons, and perhaps look for credibility to the reasons he provides to be able to trust him strongly and set new standards for the rest to follow. The last thing that you need in life is drama.

#4 Stalk him 

If you doubt what your boyfriend is doing when he is not texting you, perhaps look up his activities on social media. It will tell you how frequently he has been active, and that will help you to understand if he is deliberately ignoring you. Stalking him will also work as you would get an idea about the people who he is paying attention to and getting interested in. swindling about, getting influenced, all this will show on his highlights. 

Perhaps when you meet him next, look at the applications on his phone. It might make you an insecure girlfriend but he gave you reasons for it, right? If he gets too sad about it, explain to him the need for transparency in the relationship. If he doesn’t show it to you, take your clue. If he is perfectly alright by it, drop the matter, it is not worth checking, he has passed the test. 

Sometimes even when we know the truth, we might want to behave otherwise before the ones we trust just to see how they play us, or if they were genuinely guilty. While some mistakes are pardonable, others are not. 

#5 Leave him loose 

Sometimes it is not worth holding back a person. The better reward is to let the guy loose and observe his movements. Where he goes, whom he meets, how he spends his time, when does it hit me to call you, does he show up at your door, does he apologize or does he let you be too? All this will give you all the answers without wasting a single question. 

This is the best tactic when you feel like you are losing your patience and if you keep on holding strongly then it will only take a worse shape. Set a limit to your indulgence. If ever you go beyond it, it should be only when the person deserves it. 

#6 Plan a staycation 

If you feel that these are the signs of increasing distance between you and your boyfriend, perhaps plan a staycation. It will help you to relax together and have a good time. You will also get good opportunities to discuss your plans and how you intend to take things ahead. 

Don't plan it as a surprise. Instead, ask him to actively participate in the planning so that you both are sure to have a great time together. These small things will help you stay calm and take you to great lengths in your romantic relationship.

#7 Take a break 

If you have tried everything and nothing worked, perhaps it is time to take a break. Take your time away from your boyfriend to evaluate things and to understand the course of the journey that you are undertaking. 

The time when you are away from each other will help you to understand what to do next and measure your steps accordingly. It might also encourage your boyfriend to open up about the challenges that he might be facing with you while you stood ignorant about all of it.

#8 Focus on your life outside your boyfriend 

If you lack a life outside your boyfriend to the extent that you have made a whole world out of him, you couldn't have been more wrong. It won't portray you as a great lover but as a lunatic person with an obsessive disorder. 

At the beginning of the relationship, everything is accepted and approved, but after a while begins the criticizing period where you scan the other person's actions and behavior or the lack of it to run away from them. Understand here that some people are afraid of commitment. Your boyfriend might be one of them, and you will only make the case worse by not working on a life other than your boyfriend in it. 

A friend group will help you to stay versatile and create a dynamic lifestyle of which your boyfriend shall be an important part. It will help you to retain your identity, the sacrifice of which at the altar of love is the worst mistake a person can make.

#9 Consider your options 

If all else fails and you've tried everything to address the issue, it may be time to consider whether this relationship is right for you. This time, don't just use your heart but think from your mind. 

Ask yourself where are you at the station of your life, where you want to take it from here, and how is the relationship helping you in doing this. 

Also, ask the same questions to your boyfriend to understand if both of you are on the same page in life. If not, you might want to consider your relationship status seriously.

Tips 

• Keeping patience with your boyfriend and allowing him the benefit of the doubt is very important in a relationship unless there is proof to state otherwise. You cannot curb one's space just because they are dating you. The kind of treatment you give is the same that will return to you in the long run. 
• Understand the vibes. If it is not just the messages but an overall detachment from the side of your boyfriend then he might be indulging himself too liberally. It is advisable to seek clarity and move on promptly.
• Love is always in the air. Hence, letting go of the ones who don't deserve you is necessary. Unless you do this, the right one will not be able to pave his way to you. Trust in destiny, and believe in your power not only as a charmer but also as the best girlfriend available.