Long-Distance Relationship Boyfriend Never Calls (What To Do?)

Everything has been going too well. Thanks to the internet, you are always connected with your boyfriend over video calls. You send each other desserts and flowers without waiting for occasions. It never felt like you haven't met for so long because truth being spoken, even if you had been in the same city, you wouldn't have met that often. 

However, suddenly without any warning sign your long-distance boyfriend begins to ghost you. He used to be crazy about calling you and checking on you, but it all came to a stop. Now you wonder what went wrong. What led to this radical change of behavior and who is to be blamed for it?

Your tears don't stop flowing and you hate being helpless. You don't know who to approach because you don't know anyone in that city either. 

If you have found yourself on such a threshold, this blog post is for you. Take two deep breaths and read on ahead to figure out what would have triggered such a radical change in your boyfriend's behavior and what can you do to fix things back to normal. 

Reasons why your long-distance boyfriend doesn't call you anymore 

He has been engaged in a crisis or some emergency task. Give it more time to see for how long he continues this way. If it goes on for more than a week then the reasons could be one of the following stated below. 

Continue reading to know more.

#1 He has found someone else 

Long-distance relationships aren't for everybody. Your boyfriend might be feeling a strong need for physical intimacy. He has perhaps even found someone to whom he can trust and stick. 

If you don't ghost him in return, and stay by to remain available as a friend, he might tell you his reasons eventually. In such a case, you should ask yourself how you feel about everything. 

If you had been feeling a need, a crisis, or a desire too which your boyfriend wasn't able to fulfill, perhaps it is for the best to move on to something more materialistic and concrete. 

Although the right behavior would have been to discuss it and arrive at the discussion mutually. If you love him with all your heart and have invested yourself completely in the relationship, you might want to visit him to get clarity.

#2 He is guilty 

Perhaps your boyfriend is just ashamed of something that he has done recently. He might have cheated on you. The guilt trip might be too much to meet your eyes. 

He is taking his time to understand what pushed him to go astray. Has he been forcibly continuing the relationship? Is he out of love for you or has this made him realize how scared he is of losing you? 

A candid conversation will help you figure out the problem. You need to encourage your boyfriend that you aren't here to judge him. All you are trying to do is to arrive at a solution, either together or away from him. 

The guilt trip is unnecessary. We are humans, and we are committed to follies. It could have been triggered by intoxication or neediness. If you had a fight or things aren't going strong, and there was someone after your boyfriend, things might have toppled off in the wrong direction. I suggest you do not come to any conclusion right away. Stay calm, talk, understand, and then arrive at the conclusion.

#3 He has lost the enthusiasm 

Don’t be too shocked to find out one day that your long-distance boyfriend has lost his enthusiasm, and won’t receive or return the calls any longer. Such is the way of the world. Till the time people are getting kicks and enjoying their moments, they will be interested. When things start getting a little dull and off, they ghost you without warning. 

Losing enthusiasm is mostly due to dullness. If you are not meeting up his interests, if both of you don’t engage in exciting things, and if the things are not hot and exciting, then it is boring. You can talk about books, narrate previous experiences, video calls, and do various stuff even to make a long-distance relationship interesting. 

Get on movie dates virtually, make reels, and stalk hotties, or newbies, not everything has to deal with questions. Rather than interrogating or staying silent, start proposing things from your end. Dress up for him and try to carry out a virtual role-play. See his reactions to find out which of the options excites him the most. 

It doesn’t mean that it will all be one-sided. He too will contribute. All he might need is a kickstart. Give him that and let him take the game forward from there on. Make this a habit. One person will lead, and one person will take the game forward. Maintaining a synchronicity will do both of you good. 

#4 You are gaining weight 

If you are not maintaining yourself, and have been having medical issues, excessive hormonal disbalance, gain of weight, lethargy, and more, your boyfriend might begin to lose interest in dating you. A good human will try to push you toward recovery. He will encourage you in many ways such as by sending inspirational posts, sharing meal recipes, and working things out. 

However, if still you haven’t been responding in affirmation and have been a laid-back person altogether, your boyfriend might not appreciate it. Hence, don’t take things casually just because you aren’t meeting your guy daily. Help him stay pumped up by reminding him that he has a gorgeous woman by his side whom he should take care of.

#5 You are giving mixed signals 

If you have been fooling around with your guy, not taking him seriously, and giving him mixed signals, he will not appreciate it. One fine day he might decide that he has had enough. From this day, he might not treat you in the same manner. 

Hence, don’t drag your relationship to that moment. Your relationship should be rooted in trust that brings confidence to your face and keep it radiant. The momentary doubts can do both of you much harm. Moreover, nobody likes to keep chasing another person. At one point, all we wish for is stability that keeps us going smoothly. 

Giving mixed signals is equivalent to disrespecting a person’s space, commitment, and time so liberally allotted to you. Hence, when you are skeptical about a proposal or feel that things have changed, convey it to the person. It saves you the friendship and prevents you from getting into any awkward confrontation.

#6 You don't answer his calls at once 

If you throw a lot of tantrums when it comes to greeting your boyfriend, answering his calls, or making replies to his texts despite the engulfing distance, and you blame it on the disparity in time zones, without making any conscious effort from your end to alter the situation, your boyfriend might not feel himself anymore.

A long-distance relationship can only remain when there are deliberate efforts from both ends to make it happen. If you are clouded in doubts, and don't know which way the relationship might be dwindling, it is because you haven't determined the path and the direction yet. 

Having a mindful and provocative conversation about the future can lead you in the right direction. How and where you see each other in five years will bring you clarity. If you are aiming to keep things short-term, why endure the pain of distance at all?

#7 He is busy 

Perhaps you are the one who is overthinking. This might be the peak season of the year for your boyfriend's organization and he might be genuinely busy working. 

You can ask him to share his schedule or tell you about his day. It will give you an idea about what is going on with him. Expressing your resentment isn't bad either. You can ask him if he is deliberately not calling you or what is holding him back.

You can work around his schedule. Figure out a way to deal with it. Be more patient and kind. However, don't be compromising all the time. If the work schedule is getting too hectic and he hasn't promised you to make up for it, perhaps you should step back a bit.

The most important thing is to not be obsessed over a person even if you love them. If you don't practice practical detachment, life will be tough. Your priority should be yourself. Everything else is secondary. If you are obsessing over the guy you think you love, it is infatuation. 

#8 He is sick 

He might be ill and has been keeping it from you because of the distance. He perhaps doesn't want to fret you because he knows that you get too worried about everything.

Try video calling and checking on him. You can also ask him about it, or if you know anyone there, his friends or relatives then ask them to check on him on your behalf. 

You can practice a routine medical check-up together or maintain a journal about it. Since life is so unpredictable, all these will help you stay careful and alert. It should be done from both ends at regular intervals. You can make it a point to go for checkups together. It will enable transparency, and careful decisions at all times and places.

#9 He is planning a surprise

Don't be too surprised when you figure out that your boyfriend has been planning a surprise for you all this while pretending to act distant from you. Guys love that kind of thing. While you might feel that letting you go through such a hard time for momentary pleasure is not worth it, your boyfriend might be a statistics guy who feels that when you curb a certain emotion for a period, the accentuation of emotions will be greater bringing you higher pleasure than you had anticipated.

Play these factors around in your mind but don’t get too excited for the same. Always keep the bandwidth of disappointment in check. Keeping the hope range too high is not good either. You don’t want to shoot down at a greater speed or intensity. Hence, stay grounded. If things happen the way you desire them to be, well and good; if not, keep a backup plan ready; if things turn out to be way better than you had expected, sing your prayers.

#10 He needs a break 

There is a possibility that your long-distance boyfriend might find the relationship too overwhelming. He feels that all his time goes into this. He is looking for a break now.

You need to make him express his wish over here. You cannot assume things for the consequences will be deal breakers. Instead, tell him that he has your confidence and you won't judge him on the call he makes.

Ghosting and ending relationships will only create disharmony. If ever you feel the need to bring things to a halt, do it in a manner that keeps you regret-free. You don't have to break the other person's heart. Say the same to your boyfriend. 

#11 He is afraid of commitment

Perhaps your boyfriend is afraid of making commitments. The way things are progressing, he feels that it will change shape and form so soon that it might take the form of a stereotypical relationship. 

He doesn't want you to obsess over him. He wants to give you space. You might have to read the vibe and slow down for a while. Don't make it so overwhelming that he feels the need to run away or get underground till the point all the sound silences down.

What to do when your long-distance boyfriend doesn't call you anymore?

Start taking the initiative from your end while keeping your self-worth intact. If your long-distance boyfriend has moved on in his life, he will not heed your efforts. 

There are certain things that you can do, and certain things that you shouldn't do. One such thing is to try to force or beg someone to stay. If your long-distance boyfriend is giving you clear red flags, it is time to take a step back. 

However, if you feel like making one last try, attempt by doing one of the following steps. Continue reading to know more.

#1 You call him 

If he has stopped calling you as much, he might feel that you have taken him for granted. It is okay to reverse the table and shower your love on him. The easiest way to do this is by doing convenient things. When you are doing things that do not require added effort, you won’t mind doing it.

For instance, smiling at someone, sending roses, calling up to check on a person, ordering their favorite food parcel, these are things that are done with a few clicks. It neither requires much time nor monetary investment. It shows that you care. It will make him think and revert accordingly.

Break his false notions that you have lost your interest, and renew the relationship with romance. Consistency is the key to longevity. When he sees you putting through his tantrums and negligent behavior, he will automatically readjust his conduct with you. 

#2 Give him a surprise 

Why not visit your long-distance boyfriend to remind him of the meaning that he holds in your life? Give him a surprise. It has many advantages. First and foremost, it will bring you happiness and reassuring confidence. When you are in any kind of relationship, you need to be happy. 

If he is cheating with you and sleeping with someone else, you will have the chance to catch him red-handed. If he was anxious about losing you and has been behaving awkwardly, therefore, this will turn out to be a pleasant surprise indeed. 

Carry his favorite flowers and cook him something. Be prepared with your best foot forward. If he has chosen to break your heart, let him feel what he is going to lose. 

If everything goes well and you are received with love, spend some days with time. Have fun and create enough memories to keep you going till the next time. 

#3 Contact his friends 

If you feel that something might be wrong on a note that you don't want to take lightly, if dating you has been so long and good that breaking up never crossed your mind then it is for the best that you get in touch with your friends. 

It might have been some kind of emergency. He might be in some kind of a fix. He is either taking his time off or is too busy sorting things. You can pretend to do a catch-up call rather than starting all with interrogations. Be polite and humble. Don’t let your anger get the better of you. 

If his friends hesitate in opening up to you, gain their trust and confidence. Don’t make it sound like a big thing to you. Keep it light-hearted. Greet them with a favorable memory before shifting the context to that which is worrying you presently.

#4 Go on a vacation with him 

If you feel that the increasing distance can be curbed by undertaking a vacation together, if the cause of the distance is nothing except the distance itself, there is no misunderstanding, no third person, no lapse of communication, but falling out of love due to not spending quality time together, plan one. 

A vacation will bring both of you new memories to cheer. It will be special. You can describe how difficult staying away for so long has been. Pamper each other by turns. Show that the love of both of you is enough to keep you going for years. More importantly, plan your future together. 

Chalk down ways in which you can see more of each other every day. It will help you to prevent such situations in the future where you feel that it isn’t working, and begin to ghost unnecessarily.

#5 Visit each other more often 

If you feel that a long-distance relationship is not working for the two of you but everything else is fine, make it a short distance. Plan something out. 

When you started dating, you must have thought of this moment. It is easily anticipated in every long-distance relationship for the fear of being vulnerable. 

Revisit those plans. Talk things out. Giving up on the people you love is never the right choice. Fixing things out, and figuring out the problems will help you to decrease the distance.

Remember, even with no distance in between, you can still feel distant from a person. There is no trick here. It is all about making them your priority, giving them special treatment, valuing them, and sticking by them that counts.

#6 Ask him about it 

When your boyfriend stops calling you out of the blue, he might be ghosting you. You have the right to confront him and ask him the reason. Approach him politely. Tell him that his side of the reason will help you move on in life.

Besides, knowing the reasons why a person is ditching, dumping, or ignoring you is important. It will prevent you from going the same pathway again. Next time, that is, if this doesn't work, you will be able to make better and wiser choices.

#7 Take a break 

If a person doesn't want to stay in your life, you cannot force them to. Instead, take a break to detoxify yourself with all the residual cold memories. Filter them and keep only the good parts that will keep you satiated. 

Don't lose your individuality over someone else. Don't try to change yourself. If they don't want to stay, you cannot force them to. Instead, take a break and focus all your attention on yourself. A year down the line, all this will not matter as much. Once you liberate yourself, you will find yourself in a better condition to deal with things you love.

#8 Consider the future of the relationship 

Think to yourself why you are investing so much in the relationship. Do you think it will do you any good? Is there a future to it, or are you merely passing time? 

What is your objective? Why do you want to be in a relationship? Are you getting rightly rewarded and appreciated? When you ask yourself the right set of questions, you might be in need to have difficult conversations but it will help you in the long run. Your future will be secured, your present will move in the right direction. 

Tips 

• A long-distance relationship might need more time and effort investment than a short-distance relationship if you want it to work. Eventually, you must take steps to move from a long-distance relationship to a regular relationship. When you realize that this is it that you want, work towards it. 
• Never be greedy or selfish in a relationship. It should be a selfless equation where your primary objective is to love the other person. Your life has to run on that thought. If you love selflessly, your commitment and affection will find their way back to you in one way or the other. 
• Start writing a journal where you describe your day-to-day goals and activities. It should be something that you can read before going to bed to ascertain the growth and development in your domain. When your focus shifts from external situations and circumstances to inward calmness and growth, life will be more optimistic and you will be more courageous and open-minded irrespective of the situation.