10 Lies to Tell Your Boyfriend to See If He Cares

It is a truth universally acknowledged that lying is a vice. Lying to anyone is considered morally wrong (there are exceptions, of course, in the form of situations that require one to lie to save lives).

Lying to one’s partner is considered a big no-no in romantic relationships. Using lies to test whether they care for you or not or to test their loyalty is nothing but manipulative behavior. It holds the ability to inflict long-term damage to the relationship.

Nevertheless, the heart wants what it wants. We are only human beings, and humans willingly do morally questionable things that often have no justification. We just do it to satiate the hunger pangs of our curiously twisted minds.

We tell lies like these to make ourselves feel good, and this happens mostly when we do not live a life to feel good about. One may also lie out of insecurity or simply to cross-check. The lies may even work out brilliantly if they are clever and well-executed.

The very existence of this blog post proves the point I have made in the previous couple of paragraphs. In this article, I have jotted down for you a few clever lies to tell your boyfriend to see if he cares.

Keep scrolling.

A list of perfect lies to see if he cares

It has already been established that lying is wrong. But the fact that you are reading this article proves that you are willing to go ahead with it no matter what comes your way. You must have your reasons.

I have reason to assume that you are using lies to see if your boyfriend cares for you because you care for him (and you want the same from him in return). That means you care for (and probably treasure) this relationship.

However, you need to be careful about what comes out of your mouth while you are checking whether your boyfriend cares for you. The lie you come up with needs to be perfect in order to avoid misunderstandings that can irreparably damage the bond you share with your boyfriend.

It is up to you to make sure he never knows you are lying or that you lied to him. A perfect lie is the one that is almost like the truth. These are the ones that he will probably not care to question. Even if he does so, your job would be to answer them in a way as perfect as the lie you chose to tell.

Go through the list of clever lies I have curated for you. The lie(s) should coincide with your life organically, and it should match your personality.

Choose it wisely.

Use it well.

#1 I am not feeling well

This is a classic one. You can check whether your boyfriend cares for you or not by making him believe that you are feeling a bit under the weather. We humans are emotional beings. Each of us has been bestowed with various degrees of emotional sensitivity. This makes most of us feel responsible for the people we love. Caring for one’s partner is, therefore, an essential part of romantic relationships ─ a way of showing affection.

If you are doubtful about your boyfriend's feelings for you, lying about your well-being is one of the easiest ways to go. Tell him that you are not feeling well. However, this particular lie will require you to put up an act (not an elaborate one, though). You will have to pretend that you are sick. Let me help you with that.

• Simply saying that you are sick may not be enough in some cases. If you are planning to check whether he cares over a voice call, try to make your voice a bit nasal or uneven. Pretend that you have a blocked nose or a sore throat. Make your nasal voice believable. Do not overdo it.

• Acting like you are not feeling well can be difficult over video calls or in person. Here, you will probably need props like used tissues, flasks, teacups, and medicines on your coffee table instead of that aesthetic book on Renaissance paintings. Amy from The Big Bang Theory might be of help in this situation.
  
  In one of the early episodes of the show, she actually becomes sick and finds her robot-like boyfriend, Sheldon (who seems entirely devoid of human emotions), caring for her. She liked him that way, and therefore, she pretended to stay sick for a few more days (thanks to her impeccable acting skills) just to have him take care of her like a baby.

#2 I feel sad

Your boyfriend will be worried about your mental health as much as your physical health if he genuinely cares for you. Tell him that you are sad to see if he cares for you or not. The thing that makes you sad should be relevant enough for him to believe.

A bit of acting is essential for this, too. You will have to act like you are sad to see if he cares for you. You will be required to make up stories to support your sadness. Watch if he is empathizing with you. He should feel what you are allegedly feeling.

Most adults are sad because of their unsatisfactory lives. This stems from anxiety, frustration, and other mental health issues. So, convincing him will be easier than acting sick, as sadness in adulthood is relatable. You can simply tell him you feel a bit low.

Sometimes, the reason for your sadness can be overlooked if you act well enough. Your facial expressions should be such that he would respond with a no-questions-asked attitude. You can even stop talking for a while to let him figure out what is wrong with you.

Sob and sniffle if you can. This one is more applicable if you can cry at cue. Try to choke your voice on purpose to let him know how distressed you are. However, do not go to him crying. It is wise to let him come to you. You should not be the one to point out explicitly that you are sad. He should figure that out himself.

#3 I can’t cook to save my life

This part is written explicitly for a woman or the one who identifies as a woman. Since time immemorial, women have faced discrimination in the form of gender roles. Society has deemed them worthy of a homebound life.

The waves of feminism have managed to make things a bit better for women, but certain things remain the same in people’s minds. Cooking or preparing food is one such thing. Society has assigned that job to women. Therefore, saying you do not know how to cook can make people frown.

This particular lie is a bit unorthodox, and that is advantageous because it will spur minimum suspicion. There is a fair chance of your boyfriend being skeptical about your sudden illness or sadness. The one we are going to discuss now is something he will not be ready for.

An unorthodox lie needs more precision than a common one. Your story needs to be airtight. Well, it is known to all that cooking is a life skill. Not knowing how to do it may turn you into a subject for the judgemental eye of the society you are a part of. This is where it gets tricky.

Tell your boyfriend that you don’t know how to cook. Tell him it will not be wise for him to expect a home-cooked meal from you. His reaction to this will tell you more than you want to know.

• A sensible or woke person is not going to bother about the fact that his partner can’t cook food. He will probably look for other options. A man like this is definitely a green flag who cares for you a lot. Your ruse has worked in a positive manner.

• However, you can never rule out the possibility of the opposite. Your boyfriend may get annoyed at you for not knowing how to cook. Is he trying to assign a gender role to you? If that is the case, you need to distance yourself from him. This kind of toxicity should not be tolerated by anyone. Your lie has saved you from a botched relationship. You deserve better.

• There is a third scenario as well. He may care for you and get disappointed at your lack of cooking skills at the same time. That happens when he knows how to cook and considers it an essential life skill. He wants you to learn cooking and would probably teach you so that you may never get into food trouble.

#4 I had a traumatic past

This one can be called a part of the “lying-about-being-sad universe.” You can see if your boyfriend cares for you by telling him sad stories about your past days. Check for sympathy, empathy, and apathy in his words and body language.

Before getting into the details of this, I must say that these lies are particularly nasty as you are cashing in on trauma. Once you decide to do that, it will not matter whether your trauma was real or not because you will be doing it with the intention of gathering sympathy. The gravity of what you actually went through might decrease a great deal if you get caught.

Here are a few ideas:

• You can lie about getting bullied at school. He will probably be sympathetic to this and might lend a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on. He can even empathize if he had a similar experience when he was a child. However, be prepared for apathy as well, mainly if he was a bully at his school.

• Bad breakups give us a lifetime of trauma. You can choose to lie about such a breakup. Tell him how it affected the rest of your life. Making up a good back-story is absolutely essential here. Do not deviate from it, or you will invite suspicion.

• You can lie about financial hardships. Tell him it was difficult for your family to make ends meet when you were a child. Say that it affected your personality and education.

• You can lie about facing emotional negligence from your parents or primary caregivers. Things like this can cause a lot of pain if experienced in real life. Remember to keep your act intact, as getting caught will cause embarrassment.

You can even use your own experiences, but you might have to exaggerate them out of proportion if you really want his attention. It is wise not to run overboard with your stories. The job is to ward off suspicion as much as you can.

I would advise you to come up with convincing storylines if you are making up the entire thing. One mistake will mess things up. You may end up hurting him irreparably. That is something you do not want to do if you genuinely care for him.

#5 I would love to meet your friends and family

Friends and family are essential parts of an individual's life. You have them, and so does your boyfriend. In some relationships, people choose to keep their friends and families separate from their love lives. This depends on a lot of factors, the most important one being how long they have dated. Other personal reasons may also be there.

You can lie about longing to meet his kin to see if your boyfriend cares for you. You may not really care about his friends and family, but act like you are interested. However, do not nag him too much, or things can turn bitter.

Your lie about wanting to meet his kin can be met with the following reactions:

• He will get upset because he wants to keep the two lives separate. That can happen when he is ashamed of you or does not trust you enough to let his friends and family meet you. He may also react this way if he is cheating on you. His kin probably knows someone as his partner. Letting you meet them will bring the cat out of the bag. This clearly means he does not care about you. In this case, it is better to let go of this relationship. After all, that is the sole purpose of lying to him.

• He will be glad to introduce you to his friends and family. That is the reaction of a person who cares for you. If your boyfriend is willing to introduce you to his kin, know that he is a keeper. You should never let him go and never lie to him again.

• He will be surprised at your sudden interest in meeting his friends and family. That’s because you never actually showed interest in them. Your sudden eagerness can be suspicious. Therefore, my advice would be to gradually pitch the idea of meeting his friends and family. Take your time to do that. Your interest in them should look organic. However, this reaction is not as direct as the aforementioned ones. You will wait for him to decide. His decision will help you know what is needed.

#6 I snore

This one is more applicable when you have just started dating him, and you want to know whether he is worth your time or not. Let’s be hypothetical for a while. Let’s assume you snore while sleeping. It will not be a problem for you, but the person sleeping next to you might have difficulty sleeping because of the noise.

Snoring is a common relationship problem. It can break a perfectly fine romantic bond. Not all partners are okay with snoring. However, the one who wants to stay with you no matter what will attempt to live with it or will probably take you to a doctor.

Tell your boyfriend that you tend to snore at night and watch his reaction. This particular lie will have to be verbally convincing. It will not require you to put up an act (unless your boyfriend is extremely cynical and wants you to demonstrate how disturbing your snoring noise can be, and in that case, consider your ruse over, as it is pretty difficult to act out snoring noises while pretending to sleep with authenticity).

If he says he can’t stand snoring, you will have the answer to your question. He probably does not care about you. He is not willing to help you out with his problem and definitely will not withstand your snoring. He does not consider you worth the effort. The lie just saved you from wasting your time on this relationship.

However, if he is the one who is willing to help you seek medical attention or endure it for a while until it gets cured, he is the one to stick to. He cares for you and probably loves you enough to walk that extra mile for you. What more can a person want from their partner? In this case, your boyfriend is a true friend in need, and that is why he is a keeper.

#7 I met your ex

You can lie to him about meeting his ex to note his reaction. Did you see a hint of blush on his face, or did he flinch at the news? His body language will tell you what you want to know.

Like the previous one, this lie is a pretty verbal one, and it will not require you to act much (except for the convincing part). However, you will have to make sure your boyfriend is not in contact with his ex. Otherwise, the chances of you getting caught will increase tenfold.

After ensuring he does not talk to his ex anymore, you will be required to cook up a story about meeting them on the street. Focus on the details, like where you met them or who you saw them with. Be prepared for any kind of question that may come your way after lying to your boyfriend.

Remember, he knows his ex more than you do. Try not to act over-smart. Do not do or say things that will spur suspicion. Lying will be easier if you are actually acquainted with his ex. Meeting and speaking to them will make more sense in that case.

If you do not know them personally, it will not be wise to move forward with the lie unless you want to put up an act about how they spotted you in the crowd and identified you as their ex’s present partner. Don’t you think that will be a little far-fetched? It is totally up to you.

Watch how he reacts to the news. Is he getting too excited hearing about his ex? Is he trying to hear more about them from you? Did he ask what they said about him? This kind of eagerness can be a sign that he still has feelings for his ex. He cares more for them. He is not over his past relationship yet. His indifference to the news, on the other hand, would mean he does not care about his ex. All he cares for is you.

#8 I heard your friends were bitching about me

One can’t expect everyone to like them. It often happens that our friends end up disliking our partners. In F.R.I.E.N.D.S, the main characters often dislike each other’s boyfriends and girlfriends. There was one particular instance where everyone disliked Phoebe’s new boyfriend (who was a therapist), and she ended up breaking up with him. That is because she did not care much about the relationship.

Friends show that they dislike a person’s partner by bitching about them behind their back. Tell your boyfriend that you heard from someone that his friends were bitching about you.

The presence of the “someone” as a third person is necessary because you need to show that you are not entirely sure about it.  Telling him you heard it yourself will make him confront his friends, and you will get caught. That is why presenting it as a rumor is important.

Know that he cares for you if he gets upset at his friends for bitching about you. That would mean he believes you and trusts your words. He will probably go and ask them if the rumor is true and tell them not to do the same again. In this scenario, you are more important to him than to his friends. I do not think you should lie to him about anything anymore.

However, rethink the relationship if you find him unbothered by the news. He does not care about you or whatever mean things his friends have allegedly said about you. He does not have respect for you. In this case, your lie will show you the bitter truth of your relationship.

#9 I do not feel safe

As your boyfriend, your safety should be one of his primary concerns. You can see if he cares for you by lying about not feeling safe. There are several ways to act scared, and it does not always have to be explicit. Here are a few ways to convince him that you do not feel safe.

• I will have to go out late at night – This one will work best if you stay in a sparsely populated locality. Going out late at night can be dangerous in many parts of the world. Even in the city that you grew up in, there are certain places that you feel unsafe. Tell him you are going out at night alone and that you are scared of darkness and empty streets. Do not ask for his help directly. Let him offer help on his own. You will know he cares for you if he offers to drop you at your destination or accompany you.

• A creepy guy is disturbing me on social media – There is no dearth of creepy guys on social media. Tell your boyfriend one such is disturbing you. However, this particular lie may not work if he, out of concern, demands to know the creep's name to take action. Therefore, this one should be your last resort.

#10 I am going on vacation alone

I have nothing against solo trips. Vacations are supposed to freshen one’s mind, and people have the right to choose the kind of vacation they want. However, things change when one starts dating. Couples are expected to take vacations together. It is not always a societal expectation. At times, one’s partner too expects to go on vacations only with the significant other. This happens when they care.

You can lie to your boyfriend about going on a vacation alone. Tell him you need to get away from the hustle and bustle of city life. Tell him that the lack of work-life balance is making you cranky, and you need to clear your head. Do not forget to mention that you do not want to bother him by asking him to accompany you.

A boyfriend who cares for you will probably feel bad about the fact that you are traveling alone. He will offer to accompany you. Do not assume he is being clingy. He is looking out for you because he does not want you to feel lonely.

However, it does not always mean he cares less for you if he does not offer to accompany you. He may care for you, but his career is getting in the way of spending quality time with the person he loves. He can do nothing about that.

It is in his eyes, his facial expressions, his body language, and the way he reacts to your words (obviously the lies). You will know how much he cares for you by looking into his eyes as he refuses to take a vacation with you. A keen observation will provide you with insights that will help you determine whether the man is perfect for you or not.

Tips and life hacks

A few points to be noted:

• Make sure you don’t get caught, as that would probably be the end of your relationship. Lying to one’s partner is immoral, no matter what the reason is. Be extra careful about the stories you cook up, and try to put up an Oscar-worthy performance.

• A quick way to check his loyalty is to say that your female friend asked for his contact. Watch how he reacts to that. Is he too eager about it? Did he ask why, or did he just agree without a second thought? The solution to your problem lies in the answers to these questions.

• Another quick way to see if your boyfriend cares for you is to say, “We need to talk,” with a serious expression. If he truly cares for you, his facial expression will show that he is scared of losing you. These words are often used immediately before breaking up with someone.

• In the list of lies that you just went through, there are certain instances where you will need to lie about serious issues like safety and trauma. My advice would be to avoid that forte as much as you can. Do not go for them unless you think it is absolutely necessary to test him with a lie so serious that it can alter his perception of you. Use the white lies instead. They are comparatively harmless.

• Do not assume your boyfriend to be a fool. He is an adult who understands the world as much as you do. Be realistic about your lies. Do not say things that are too weird to be true. The point of this blog post is to help you with lies that will not get you caught.

• Do not harbor lofty expectations. You are lying to your boyfriend to see if he cares. There are chances he will disappoint you. Be prepared for that. Do not get disheartened, as Mr. Right is waiting for you to be discovered. Not all relationships end up being like Daphne and Simon’s from the Netflix show Bridgerton.