I Hate My Boyfriend’s Dog (Ways to Deal)

People have a glorified idea about relationships before they enter into one. They believe it to be a safe haven for two souls who are ready to leave the whole world for each other.

But guess what? It's a pipe dream. 

It never concerns only the two lovers but all the close ones with whom they have journeyed so far. You cannot expect your love story to be restricted to you and your partner as you experience the reverse in due course of time.

And you cannot confront this truth since everybody shares a part of themselves with their dear ones whom they do not want to part with just because they are seeing someone.

You can agree that friends and family are the inseparable fabric of our existence. But what if I say it's his pet, who is also a ‘third wheel’?

I know many of us would be shocked if you say you hate your boyfriend’s dog. They will start judging you and sometimes stigmatize your choice. 

This is because they do not see beyond the conventions. It's almost like the way one hates her boyfriend’s sister or best friend. People are understanding of the fact that you can hate his family or friends, but coming to his pets, it suddenly sounds mean and inhuman.

Moreover, you know that telling this to your boyfriend can worsen the situation and offend his emotions. 

Yet, you can't get over the not-so-pleasing feeling about his pet and relax. You love him, but you fail to love his dog. 

Have no worries, babe, because you are not alone in this. There are a bunch of girls who follow the same beeline. But the good news is you can find a solution if you pay heed to your brain and a few smart tips.

Tap into this blogspot to taste it.

Let's take a step back and see through my eyes

Dogs are adorable creatures. They are too cute not to love. 

But does everybody feel this way? 

Unfortunately, no.

And when it is your boyfriend’s dog who always comes in the way with its poking nose, you may be far from loving it.

Some people are more comfortable in keeping a fair distance from pets, especially from dogs, for their furry quirks and annoying barks. But things seem difficult as your aversion is meant for your partner’s pet, whom he is deeply attached to.

I have seen people suffering from the same painful story. Even my own experiences led me to quite a similar scenario. 

So, my best advice for you is to draw a line of harmony in a way that saves you from being tagged as an insensitive animal hater and the worst girlfriend. 

Well, I find it reasonable to not feel at home with the company of a pet you almost detest. Yet, your boyfriend might not be on the same page since he won't be able to use his rationality to justify your displeasure about his favorite angel.

Then, what can be the much-wanted backdoor?

Will you mind me taking you to the glimmer of hope through a bit more elaborate sight?

This part will encompass sections like 

• Why do you hate his dog
• What is your boyfriend’s reaction
• Here is how to reach a state of resolution

For the next few minutes, trust me as your guide to reach the silver lining. Read this article as the handbook of secret mantras.

Why do you hate his dog?

I know that you hate his dog. But a few people bother to know the actual reasons. If you do not want a band-aid solution that will leave holes in your wounds, you have to drill down and probe beyond the surface.

Make a move and get to the crux.

#1 The dog is barking all the time

You go to your boyfriend’s place with a heart full of excitement and joy, and you are welcomed by the barking shouts of his dearest pet. I can imagine how it may feel.

You can't help feeling disgusted at every occasion when it barks you into the house, and you have nothing to do about it. Not only that, whenever you get up or move into other places, it starts all over again with its ceaseless vocal warnings. 

“Why can't you keep your mouth shut for a second?”This might be what you want to tell each time the yells echo into your ears, but you have to bite your tongue. You notice his constant yelping ruins the stillness of the peaceful ambiance and pushes you to the edge.

A barking dog is often more annoying than a biting one.

- Joseph Wood Krutch

The words by J.W. Krutch ring a similar bell in this context and may sound like the common phrases of those who have to tolerate the bugbear.

You wish it didn't exist, but you have to hide your irritation as you see your boyfriend pampering and playing with him. 

Instead of throwing it out, you have to wear a false smile and pretend to be enjoying its presence, which rubs you raw to the core.

Let me share something in this regard. 

My cousin had a pet dog, Jordan, and he loved him so dearly that nobody could utter a thing against it. 

His girlfriend, who started hating its habit of persistent howling without an apparent cause, had to meet him outside simply to avoid its noise. Even then, he refused to hear that he must do something about its non-stop screaming at random people. 

As I observed this situation, I couldn't blame the girl for detesting the creature and realized that anyone in her place would have reacted bitterly at these round-the-clock yaps.

This is where the problem lies. If you ask me to give you a solution to this, I would suggest you to discuss this with your partner and know

• whether it is barking for a specific reason 
• or it is upset and asking for attention. 

This approach might be taken in a good light as it reveals your caring side to him.

#2 It drools around and licks your face

There is hardly anyone who would like to have a dog slobber on them. And the worst part is if it does that more often and, you can't do anything about it because it belongs to the love of your life.

There can be several situations when you may wear your best and prettiest dress to meet your boyfriend and end up getting frustrated with its saliva all over it. 

This is nothing new to me as I have years with such dog owners who think it to be a part of their dog’s playful gesture to lick one’s face and body parts. And the feeling of displeasure escalates when they don't want to acknowledge the irritation you feel when their dogs salivate on you.

The dripping saliva does not provide a great sensation to a few people, even if it's an expression of joviality of the dog. They might take it as an utterly unpleasant experience and grow an apathy for those pets who leave wet patches with their sticky drool.

To some, it seems one of the most unhygienic practices to come into contact with the spittle emitted from the mouth of an animal. So, if your boyfriend’s pet is one to drool over and lick you around, it might drive you nuts and earn your loathing for it.

In such cases, you can

• Give it a quick wipe.
• You can try to make it busy with something else.
• You should tell your partner to hang a bib around its neck.
• Ask your boyfriend to talk to a medical expert if there is a health issue behind the excessive saliva.

#3 You find it weird to make love in front of it

Although it sounds funny, getting intimate in front of your partner’s pet is indeed disturbing. It is almost like allowing someone to sneak into your private space and let it ogle at you with an eye of disapproval.

My best friend had to undergo this weirdness during her meeting with her boyfriend. At that point in time, I used to burst out laughing to hear her grumble at how his dog kept an eye on them getting close. 

I clearly remember one incident when it was her birthday, and she was feeling on top of the world as she was going to see her boyfriend after months and had surprise plans to impress him. 

But she was furious at the moment when they were at a very personal juncture of kissing each other, and his dog jumped between them and began to stare with a look of objection. They tried to ignore and move ahead, but it was too awkward to create a passionate atmosphere with two bulging eyes cast on them.

Finally, she had to be happy with a few conversations and a luncheon and departed being upset.

Many a couple can relate to this ‘comedy of errors.’ The bottom line remains the same that they can't manage to get fond of their partner’s dog.

#4 It smells bad

You can't like the foul odor of your boyfriend’s doggy even though it looks like a cute little munchkin. 

You step into his house and stay with that gross smell throughout the day until you are ready to come out in the fresh air. And all the time, you can't help but feel sick of the stinking rooms, furniture, and cushions that bear the unpleasant stench of it on them.

Catching a whiff, you might wish you met him somewhere outside where there would be no malodor to distract your mind and test your patience so badly.

That's a valid reason why some people avoid going to places where there will be a pet who has a rancid smell. 

Probably, it induces nausea in you to the point of hating the creature and triggers an adverse reaction in you against it. You think you hate it, but it could be the pungent odor of it hung heavy in the air that puts you off and evokes antagonism in you toward the little being.

Though it is difficult to act sensible in the face of such noxious surroundings, kindness never fails, my dear. Before you despise it more, try to use your senses and realize that it is as helpless as you are in this whole event. 

These lousy breaths are sometimes caused by yeast and bacterial infections or inadequate grooming. Diet issues and allergies, too, contribute to it hugely. 

Hence, instead of getting your patience worn thin, advise your partner to 

• Look after its dietary adjustments and health.
• Clean it regularly to control the fishy smell.

#5 You are allergic to its hair

We know that it's common for pet dogs to shed hair wherever they can. This adds to the vexation of those who have to suffer a lot due to circumstances when they see this hair sticking to the clothes and mattresses they use.

Most importantly, it can prove dangerous if you have an allergy to the hair. Medically, it cannot be recommended to those who have witnessed themselves sneezing or having itchy sensations or skin rashes as soon as they are exposed to the dog dander. 

For both allergic and non-allergic, it can be equally horrible to find hair on the pillows, usable stuff, and on the floor where they have to walk and work. 

But, it is a matter of serious concern for you if you know that the fur shed by the pet dog can result in severe illness, including breathing trouble and hay fever, which are common diseases spread by dog hair. It can be life-threatening if left uncared and unaddressed. 

So, by any means, the first thing you must do is to protect yourself by taking all the caution and letting your partner know about your susceptibility. 

The issue can be dealt with sensibly if your significant other agrees to focus on the root causes of shedding hair of his furry friend and does the needful to save the interest of both of his dearest beings.

#6 You do not feel comfortable with pets

Oh, the famous fear of dogs! How can one ignore or dismiss it as a pointless one? 

I know you can identify these words with yours if you happen to be one absolute struggler with this ‘dog’s fear.’ 

Staying around dogs may be an uncomfortable feeling for many people who are affected by the fear of being bitten or attacked by them. 

This might sound absurd to some dog lovers who believe their pets are too sweet to be scary for anyone. But the truth is different. I can understand that it has nothing to do with their sweetness. Rather, it is a mental state that must be acknowledged and handled with care.

The journal called Behavior Research and Therapy, published in 1988, reveals that people’s fear of dogs is aggravated by the apprehension of being harmed by them and painful experiences of being bitten in the years bygone.

Psychological researches have drawn the facts that this feeling of discomfort is born out of multiple factors like past experiences, parents’ lack of confidence about pets, etc.

I will explain this with examples.

Suppose you or one of your friends has been a victim of dog bites during childhood or later. Or you have been badly chased and injured by dogs in the past, which created an attitude of discretion whenever you see or hear a dog in your earshot. Immediately, you feel a lump of unknown dread taking you over, and you try to distance yourself.

Again, when a child notices his parents having that shadow of fright to see dogs nearby, they start believing that dogs are not the creatures one should be safe with. They get scared of being present in the same place where there will be pets. With age, it takes shape into a more severe phobia that turns them against these four-legged animals. 

In reality, when you know that you are not comfortable sharing a common space with dogs and your partner does not take it into account when you pay a visit to his place, this fear or uneasiness transforms into hatred. 

Fear is a funny thing. It can turn the most harmless creature into a monster.

- R.L. Stine

This quote by R.L. Stine proves that, in most cases, a dog might not be as fearful as your fear itself.

You should watch a particular episode by stand-up comedian Akash, who has humorously and sardonically shown how one has to face challenges at their exposure to dogs.

#7 Your partner is over-possessive about it

One good reason to harbor a feeling of resentment toward your partner’s doggy can be his overindulgence with his pet. He might not see it as something abnormal, but people in his close proximity can be well aware of his attachment to his dog.

My suggestion, in this context, will be to look back at the sources of his excessive affection for it. It could be over the years that he has fostered a strong bond with his pet and began to cultivate a camaraderie and friendship with it. 

Perhaps he has loved it as a companion at his loneliest hours and became dependent on it. A lot of us treat our pets as family members, and especially when it is a dog, people get emotionally anchored to them for their loyal and unconditional devotion. 

You can also consider that your better half might have found it after undergoing a past of losing another pet. If that's the way it is, they are likely to be deeply co-dependent, and consequently, he has become overprotective about his ‘tail-wagger’.

The common words for pamper can be

• “He/She is a little naughty. But don't worry, he/she won't harm you.”

• “My doggy never bites anyone.  You just have to get yourself familiar with him/her and show some love.”

• “Come on, he/she is such a cute angel. How can't anyone love him/her?”

• “He/she won't disturb you until you provoke him/her.”

I can imagine the disheartening state of mind you might be in to see him giving all his time and attention to his pet. It is also possible to fan the flame of jealousy and insecurity in you to feel left out at times when you need him, but he is busy looking after his pet.

You can do one thing to make yourself happy, and that is to join him in his activities and be a part of the family. By doing so, you will get to spend more time with him, and you never know, it might open a strange new perspective toward that ‘bundle of joy’.

What is your boyfriend’s reaction?

A lot depends on how your partner is reacting to this love-hate relationship between his two best halves.

Things will be simpler when he helps you come to a middle zone and understands the glitches with a sensitive heart.

Your next move, therefore, will highly count on the way he is ready to approach the acrimony and handle it.

Let's discuss them one after the other.

#1 He doesn't care

You can't deny the truth that there are people who prioritize their pets over everything and everyone. They will never be willing to listen to your words regarding their pet’s behavioral peculiarities. On top of that, they don't pose a neutral outlook if it is meant to criticize their dogs.

So, there lies a chance that he doesn't care about your grudges and grievances if they target his dog. It can spring from different variables like:

• He may be having a totally different expectation from his dog. Barking, peeing, and jumping here and there can be very usual conducts he thinks his dog is allowed to do, whereas these are the same things to arouse growing enmity between you two. 

• He has another definition of ‘well-behaved’ in mind when it concerns pets. Like all pet lovers, he might be in the belief that not biting a guest and letting out a warning bark is the most loving part of his dog. 

• There is one more less-explored fact that in trying to evade possible arguments and differences of opinions, he simply turns a deaf ear to the confrontations and denouncing remarks you make about his canine buddy.

• If he had similar complaints from other people against his dog, by this time, he must have been accustomed to it and has, strangely, learned to stay dismissive about them.

#2 He makes fun of you

He hasn't missed the marks of irritation on your face with each and every encounter with his dog. But, in the end, he takes delight in making fun of your sore spots. 

It will surely hurt you if this keeps happening to you, and he doesn't stop in spite of seeing your troubled look. 

But what goes on in his head when he generally pulls your leg for fearing his pet? 

• He might get it all wrong and mistake your fear for a humorous part of your behavior. Unless your lack of acceptance for his pet is rightly communicated to him, he may not be able to figure out the graveside with sensibility. Being your partner, he may look it upon as a frivolous act to poke your nerves and drive you up the wall, more like a game two lovers are often involved in.

• Is he mature enough to consider the matter of phobia and irritation quite logically? To know your pain points and work on them is not a child’s play for a man who is yet to grow up emotionally. Perhaps he teases you to see you reacting as he is immature and doesn't possess the intelligence to perceive the seriousness of things like these.

• If you root around deeply, you might add one more reason behind his act. It could be his deliberate decision to project things as funny to discourage your fear and kindle an easy-going interpretation toward it so that it appears to be normal to you to befriend pets. 

#3 He gets angry

Do you know that we all are the same when it comes to digesting criticisms against our dear ones? At some point, we all get angry and do not want to receive negative comments with a pleasing smile and appreciation.

It is mostly seen among pet owners who are rigid and prejudiced toward anything that tries to belittle their four-legged kids. They are infuriated the very minute you are displeased with those pets and try to stay away from them.

Hopelessly, it is true for boyfriends as well. He won't be an exception to show his reactions to your hatred quite offensively and might call it unrealistically unkind. 

In the rarest of examples, people who own pets are flexible and rational about their fur babies. If your partner gets mad at your repulsion, it's just another way to assert his possessiveness about his dog and obstinate unwillingness to admit the reality and act like a lover.

I have a memory that will mirror the authenticity of your present issue. My uncle’s neighbor Dhiraj was obsessed with his puppy. We used to visit his place every time we went there and played with Fido, his labrador. But, never did we expect that he would break up with his girlfriend just because she dared to shout at the pet and asked Dhiraj to keep it away. 

He got so immensely cross that he never thought of meeting his girlfriend again.

#4 He wants to know the reason for your discomfort

Now, this is the kind of assurance people seek at a challenging point. If your partner has an empathetic view, it will leave you with no signs of worry.

Be it a pet or anyone else, you must make the most of the privilege of having an understanding boyfriend who doesn't get stuck at a point of refusal.

It is a visible proof of respecting your boundaries and emotional imbalance with certain subjects that you do not feel nice to share with everybody. 

Whenever he comes up with a caring hand to extend and know your weaknesses, even if it is about someone he is close enough to feel hurt, take up the opportunity and express your gratitude to him for having a rationally equipped brain and emotionally poised mind.

Discussing Quora forums, it came out to be a common suggestion to people to be rationally sensitive to his or her partner’s apparent abhorrence for pets, and further, it was added that it can be handled with leniency provided one partner acts logically to the other in sorting out things.

Here is how to reach a state of resolution

Reaching a resolution is the most crucial stage of the turbulence you are putting up with. And this is the moment you should be wary of sharing your vulnerabilities with your mate. 

Read them and learn how to strike a balance.

#1 Talk to him

The good old cliche idea of talking and deciding never fails those who are messed up in an emotional chaos.

Bring it up with him in a way that won't upset his feelings for his little companion. Your practical advice will take him down the road where you have been walking alone so far.

So, what will be the aspects you must pick up in your discussion?

• If it is true that some of its behaviors are causing a nuisance, be specific about them when you mention them to him. Try to show him that it's not the dog you hate but the unhealthy habits it must be taught to get over.

• Offer him concrete suggestions on being attentive to its food habits, health check-ups, and regular brushing so that it stays fit and fine. If necessary, promise him to participate in vacuuming the room to set up a hygiene-friendly atmosphere for the guests and the dog itself.

• Highlight the areas that you are grappling with to make peace with. Put your opinion with a tone of compassion that can make him change his perspective for the sake of both his pet and his ladylove.

#2 Read, research, and learn pet’s behavior

One of the productive means to bond with your boyfriend’s pet is to learn about its behavior and temperament. By this, you can be able to strengthen the relationship with your partner and win his faith.

Here are the routes to serve the purpose:

• You can google out and have free access to online information and resources about dogs and their nature. Moreover, there are more than a hundred podcasts, and meaningful dog shows that deliver helpful knowledge on specific habits and activities of pet dogs.

• Books like ‘The Science of Dog Behavior’ by Jessica Pierce are a well-researched guide to teach the desired fields on dogs and their lifestyles. You can give them a thorough read to familiarize the unknown facts about dogs to yourself.

• Take help from a trusted dog trainer or contact animal experts to discuss the moods of a pet dog and how to calm it down.

• Keep a watchful eye on the dog and study its pattern of communication, howling, and other body language to know it closely.

• You can visit the rescue shelters very often to learn about the breeds and how they are raised to interact with specific impulse. This will broaden your insight about pets, and you will find it easier to cope with the provocations.

#3 Spend time with the dog

Just like the way an individual gets to know others by spending time with them, you can grow an uncanny friendship with the pet by investing time in it.

You don't have to make a huge deal out of it, but act playful with the creature by showing love and gently stroking his back with your affectionate hands. Rub his body with a slight caressing touch and be his playmate.

Don't get overwhelmed by its barking noise, and stay quiet and wait for it to stop yelping. Do actions that ensure your company to it. The more you act normal, the more he is at ease with your being there.

Find time to give it a shower and grooming session, or take charge of his physical well-being by making a diet schedule. All this will convince it that you are a harmless one who can exert her best efforts to monitor and tend to it. Along with that, it will please your boyfriend to see his partner mellow down toward his best friend.

#4 Focus on the relational issues hidden beneath it

You are trying to decode the language of your partner’s dog because you value the relationship. Now, it is his turn to honor your trust by crossing the threshold and working together.

If he is still being unbending, I'm afraid you have to reconsider the hidden truth lying beneath the surface. It is, indeed, time to question yourself whether he would be ready to step up to the plate if the future demands. 

Maybe his rigidity and possessiveness are the warning signs of his controlling and dominating side. Seek help from a trained professional to clear the mass of indecisiveness and do whatever suits best to you and the relationship.

Whether it is his pet or his friends, he has to put you at the topmost place of priority to call you his soulmate. Period.

Tips

• Try to follow the course of actions and responses of the dog to get along with it.

• Setting boundaries with your partner and his close ones, including his pets, is important to preserve the integrity of the relationship.

• Evaluate your own mindset to make out whether it is about the dog or some of his behaviors in specific.

• Communicating your dislike in a decent way can initiate a greater understanding and better management of the situation.

• Read about dogs to learn how to befriend them and be a part of the family of the three.