He Texts Me but Doesn’t Keep the Conversation Going (Here's Why)

People’s behaviors are as strange as their characters. They can throw you off balance at every turn. The same theory goes for men who do not act in the usual manner, especially in online conversations with people who expect them to respond in a somewhat straightway.

This is an age where talks are replaced by texts, and there is no denying the fact that they have emerged as one of the most effective means of communication. Yet, there are guys who are not an open book when it comes to speaking their minds, be it through messages or in personal meetings. 

Life examples will show you that one in a thousand guys behaves this way while they are the ones to initiate the conversation in the very first place. After a certain point, they become silent, and you are stuck in a bind about whether to wait or to move on.

The human mind is not a piece of cake. It won't be wrong to say it is the most complex and convoluted cave of thoughts and actions. You never know how it chooses its courses of movement. Therefore, you will be too far from knowing the truth if you are quick to form ideas about someone by a single act. 

Walking on the unconventional path doesn't mean a person is likely to be weird or unacceptable, and rather, it may point out the darkest parts of their minds, which are yet to be explored by you.

If you face challenges in a journey of a relationship where you find the man next to you striking an abrupt pause halfway through an interesting line of conversation, let me tell you, it's as common as the fact of the sun rising in the east. 

Things may stir up turbulence for a moment, and you may be on the verge of losing hope. But patience will land you in a more hopeful mound. 

If you are going back and forth with this same confusion, don't forget I'm here to help you with a stroke of balance. 

And how do I do that?

You, too, will know this shortly once you finish the following article aligned with your needs and requirements. 

Let me chime in

Before I move right into the different shades of this concern, I think a little more light can be well shed to illuminate and elucidate a few things.

Our inner selves are much like a misty winter morning to people who are often misled by the enigmatic character of it. It's pretty natural to misinterpret what's there behind the curtain if you are myopic and lack the insight.

Not everyone happens to be comfortable in a space of conversation, even if they manage to untie the rope and initiate it. 

This, however, leads to a lump of mystery revolving around their nature and traits, and people get offended, hurt, or annoyed due to their inability to enter the lion’s den. 

I must tell you that a lot of other things reside in the private corners of the minds of individuals who appear to be hesitant in carrying on with the flow of an informal discussion after they themselves make the first move. 

‘Crazy’, that's what you believe they are.

But, they might be shy, less-confident, sometimes flirtatious, and opportunists, too, which is why they take a U-turn as soon as they do not feel like vibing with you.

Reasons and contexts are aplenty and need serious consideration if you indeed want to disentangle the twisted end. There can't be one single direction to the conclusive destination. Instead, you should reflect on the varied palettes of psychology that might be the gigantic force behind a certain strangeness.

To peel off the layers, I have unfolded the deeper threads of this issue by elaborating on :

• What is the usual pattern of the conversation 
• Why is he texting you
• What makes him stop texting
• How to keep him moving

Let's kick things off.

What is the usual pattern of the conversation?

So, this is the first thing that needs to be taken into account when you look for the hints of the actual grounds. 

Take one step behind the other without losing your footing. The specific pattern of your chats, if any, will be a big help to separate the wheat from the chaff. 

Without delay, come and see how they play their roles.

#1 Is it casual or deep

Textual conversations are used as a momentary bridge between two people. They engage people in a string of sharing a part of their lives with each other. So, it's essential to sniff out the air of personal touch in the verbal engagement. 

It appears out of place if either of them goes on a tangent all of a sudden during a serious conversation. But, if the discussion has a casual tone, maybe he has started it, not bothering about the further gush of emotions you expect. 

In some cases, guys type words of greeting to see you online or your social media activities. Unfortunately, they don't have an idea what can keep the conversation alive once it's started. 

And that is how they drift off and don't notice how it affects you and the connection they share with you. 

In this context, remember that when you both are taken into a deeper level of heart-to-heart conversation, it is shockingly insensitive to stop midway without letting you know. It might break the rhythm, resulting in frustration and a feeling of irritation.

I say this because a meaningful talk is no less than an emotional process that, if broken, loses its spark and brings you back to level zero. 

Therefore, if he disconnects himself from those intense and deep-rooted points of the narrative, it is a real worry to ponder.

However, a couple of light-hearted small talks can allow a little disruption and eventually won't define a clamorous shift of a character. 

What I mean is that it is acceptable to take a break during a free-flowing dialogue, especially when it is more of a pastime activity without much involvement since it doesn't set off a connection in the true sense.

#2 Is there a tone of flirting

There are ten thousand reasons why I mention this. Guys begin to send textual messages flirtatiously because this is what they want. To flirt and nothing more than that. 

And in no time, you will see that for yourself by the phrases and things they refer to in their messages. 

In all probability, they must have started talking to you like they do with other women, and the moment they discover you are not among those who enjoy flirting, they turn around and take a reverse course.

Well, how should you identify the slyness by the patterns of the texts?

I will show you some examples:

• “I just had a dream about you.”
• “I saw someone, and that reminded me of you”.
• “Hey, it is strange how I can't stop thinking about you”.
• “I miss you when we don't talk”.
• “I find this lately that I can't resist myself from texting you”.

These are the types of texts that stop in a seemingly uncanny way if you do not fuel them up with the redoubled spice of flirt and appear to be blasé to their coquettish efforts.

#3 Is it one of the fun and friendly conversations?

Friendly chats do not demand heavyweight emotions as it doesn't lead to the obligation to answer back on a continuous and seamless current.

Apart from the battle of wits, there are these fun chats that people love to delve into, not caring for emotional investment. It's healthy and stimulating when you are isolated and suffering from negativities.

Having that in mind, it’s allowed to switch activities from chatting to any other prior things for men who converse in an easygoing way to assuage the element of seriousness.

These talks are meant for bantering up the playful spirit of a friendship. So, any of you can freely start or end it without taking the pressure of playing it right.

Suppose you got a text from him asking about the weekend or a fun experience he has had very recently. After you both share a few words, he gets offline. Yes, that's fine because it doesn't promise anything more profound than an amusing activity. 

How about getting some of the examples?

• “Hey buddy, did you listen to Justin Bieber's latest track? It's amazing!”

• “What are you doing this weekend? I was thinking a movie plan would be great. What do you say?”

• “Babe, I just tried a new dish, and I'm waiting for you to come over and taste it.”

• “Hi, dear. I thought I must ask you if you have heard of the joke that became an online sensation these days. In case you didn't, just meet me tomorrow, and I will share the entire stock of it, and trust me, you would burst out laughing.”

Why is he texting you

You notice him getting involved in a textual mode of communication quite deliberately, but later on, as your chats move on, he seems to go to an unnatural stillness. 

The most obvious thing to cross your mind is, “Why did he text me if he can't get the ball rolling?”

And it keeps bugging you until you find a definite answer. True and justified. 

I would like you to go through the next part of the blog to get to know some of the possible reasons for his texts. 

Let's explore.

#1 He wants a friendship

You will surely agree that friendship is the purest form of a relationship between two people. Not all guys aim at a sensual pleasure out of a man-woman relationship. 

So, it may be one of those unblemished desires to receive a friendly assertion from you that motivated him to take a small step by texting a simple ‘hello’ to you.

Perhaps he believes it is the safest way to approach you and grow a companionship that will be harmless. 

It might be a genuine call if the person is honest and innocent. I must admit that there are guys who can see through the characters of a woman and expect nothing romantic in return when they wish to be friends with them.

But, yeah, of course, I can't take the guarantee that there won't be a possibility of a romantic interest from any end, although it depends on time and the type of relationship you both decide to stay in.

Sometimes, it could be the budding phase of a relationship when a man thinks it to be wise to offer a hand of friendship that may culminate into a nurtured romance of a lifetime. 

As a result, he slides into the phase by growing mutual understanding and personal beliefs through texts and online chats. 

It might not be a stamp of confirmation that he has developed a strong interest in you, but it may indicate that he is willing to be your close friend and share a private part with you because he feels happy being your pal.

#2 He has a recent break-up and wants someone to talk to

Being a guy, I have personal stories in store that show me it's not unlikely for a boy to seek an empathetic shoulder from a girl after his breakup. It's not that he is in a hope to get into a fresh commitment with her, but maybe he tries to treat her as an arm of support.

Loneliness, that's what we all fear, that's what we all try to run away from. It is this same loneliness that makes him search for a company to fill in the unexpected void. 

Most of us get used to a talking schedule with our partners during a relationship. Our world tones down to a single person whom our life clock is devoted to. 

But what happens after a separation is that we struggle to fit in the emptiness left by our beloved sweethearts. This is when we desperately attempt to hold on to someone who can boost our spirit. 

So when you see that he is taking the extra care to text you with an abiding regularity, it might stem from his isolated self that craves the presence of a friendly soul. 

Yet, unfortunately, he runs out of what he should say next and slips into sleep mode. It happens due to a stage of uncertainty and the nameless character of your relationship. He doesn't know the boundary and steps back despite his eagerness.

With a prediction that you may turn out to be the person he needs to open up to, he might have thought to hit the conversation and possibly makes a retreat when he realizes he has gone too far.

In case you can't relate this to the breakup theory, you need to know: 

• Whether he broke up with his girlfriend very recently.
• Whether he still remembers her and feels sad.
• Whether he finds it hard to cope with the sense of abandonment.
• Whether he hardly has any friends to unburden himself.

#3 He has started liking you

It is the most credible cause that might drive him into an action of verbal exchanges through text messages. He has fallen for you and is looking for excuses to get in touch with you. 

In this situation, the most convenient method to come into your virtual contact is to start a brief conversation with you. 

What you should make a note of is whether he doesn't fail to ping you almost every day. This will demonstrate his keenness to get attached to you by hook or by crook. 

This is because it will, in an odd way, ensure your existence in his life, and he will cherish being one of the few ones you talk to. 

But a clumsy nervousness takes over when he is expected to take it further by both asking and answering with visible enthusiasm. He stops there, not knowing the ideal terms or sentences he should scribble off to enrich the flow.

I know this because I'm tired of hearing the same stories from my friends who went through a similar dilemma. 

One such friend of mine has shared how he used to take a long break during a warm discussion in order to find out his next words to impress the girl he was trying to get along with in those days. 

In the meantime, he would sit and craft things, but by the time he thinks he can reply, it would be too late. Every time he looks like a gauche who seems creepy in his style of talking in spite of his fondness toward the lady.

I brought up the story to provide you with a clearer vision of how some guys start texting you as a result of their interest in you and still cannot make it because of the absence of quick-wittedness or sometimes self-confidence. 

#4 He loves attention

We often hear about people who love to get the spotlight from others. Probably, the guy in question is no better. He could be in love with the amount of attention he can manage to draw from you.

You might wonder why. This is nothing out of the world because people like him are called attention seekers for their inherent need to get noticed by whoever they interact with. 

It works like an ego-booster for them to see someone is taking trouble in worrying about them. And the minute they sense that these are the ways to grab your eyeballs, they can't wait to do them repeatedly. 

Now, how is it related to his texting habit?

Very simple. He sends you messages to engage you in a conversation that would become your habit. You will miss him once he stops texting you or delays it. This is how he likes to see the whole thing. 

By exchanging a few words, he might be wanting to get a self-assurance that you love spending time with him. And when you start to respond to his word salads, his notion will be reinforced and strengthened.

Look carefully and decide whether this is true:

• Does he mind if you take longer than usual to reply?
• Does he ask personal things in the messages?
• Do you see him sulk when you get busy with others?

#5 You both have things in common to discuss

Have you ever felt that we all like to talk to those with whom we share a common connection? We come across hundreds of men and women every day, and quite a few of them come to our good books. 

The moment we find out someone has the same interests as we do, there comes an immediate rapport, and we continue having discussions with them.

If you are intelligent, you have already taken the hint. Yes, you are right if you think I'm talking about the subjects of your discussions being of your mutual interests. 

More often than not, people come close through their shared passions. Maybe it is a creative collision of the two of you that's binding you together through a verbal journey.

For example, suppose you both love traveling

and, most of the time, share favorite places, different cuisines and cultures, and stories of adventures. That's how things go on. And that's the very reason he takes delight in talking to you. 

It's not you but the secret handshake of the souls, which he tries to appreciate by communicating with you more than once.

What makes him stop texting?

It's good to receive texts and have a tete-a-tete with your favorite person. But what pushes your button for the worse is how he dips into hibernation mode and hardly says things you want to hear.

On one hand, you want to believe he is happy being on the other end of the narrative, but on the other, his muted self gives you a shudder of uncertainty.

To decide the most appropriate reaction, you ought to magnify the apparently minor reasons that might have held him back from going further with the conversations.

Relax more and worry less, as here lies the probable bunch of ‘whys’.

#1 He is bored 

Don't get me wrong if I say he is bored with your texts and stops keeping the conversation alive. 

Look, it may not be your drawback because there are men who have energy that you cannot match. Even in online communication, they are high on spirits and expect the same from you.

Another trait of their personality is that they get easily bored with people unless they are supremely interesting and boisterous. 

If your words do not excite them, they want to make a run from the dullness very soon. You may be struck by the sudden vagueness, but here, you must consider that he may not find the color of intrigue in the words you forward, or perhaps after the initial encounter, he has understood that you two are poles apart in terms of your taste and liking.

#2 He gets busy

Being busy is a common phenomenon in a racing time like ours. Not everyone deals with their tight routines in a gracefully balanced way. Some of us miserably stumble upon either relationships or on the work fronts.

What if the man we discuss is a busy one who has to sacrifice his personal life pretty often?

I will take the liberty to dig a bit deeper and elaborate. 

Imagine a scenario when both of you are equally hooked in a conversation, and suddenly, he disappears for a lengthy while. And he does this most frequently to your utter disgust. 

Later, if you ask him, you may know that he has to stay in a condition that demands immediate participation, which he cannot avoid. It may be an urgent client call, an impromptu meeting session, or a project work his senior may assign him. 

It can even be his responsibilities in the family that might need his assistance, and he has to make a quick move from virtual to real life.

You can speculate his busyness by 

• His mentions about the professional challenges he faces.
• Work tours he has to attend.
• Kind of tasks he is entrusted with in his job sector.
• His less involvement in other social media activities. 
• His limited online presence.

#3 He starts over-analyzing things

It's not one in a million examples for a guy to feel apprehensive of excessive talk and its negative consequences. 

Some are, by nature, overthinkers of situations that deserve less attention. Again, there are others who have had bad experiences in the past where people have tried to stay away from them due to their inquisitiveness or overindulgence.

If that is the truth, spinning the stick behind all this weirdness, he must have been overanalyzing things before they actually happen. 

It's true that it is his own choice to take part in the conversations, but history rings a bell of caution when it's time to actively take things forward, and he becomes alert before making the next moves.

Possibly, he is filled with an air of alarm that he might seem nagging or pestering you, or he might appear to be too nosy in asking things related to your life. This is where he goes off the trail and restricts his engagement in fear of being discarded by you.

Reading about this context, I flicked through experiences shared on online forums like Quora discussions and found a resemblance where most people opine that guys can sometimes be intimidated by the thought of rejection and stop carrying on with their textual flow.

To avoid bitterness or miscommunications, he might think it to be far more viable to go by the book and stick to his reservations. 

#4 He is poor at keeping the chat alive

There are two groups of people. One is shy and introverted and not much comfortable socializing with others. The other category is those who are believers in in-person meetings and devote less time to textual discussions.

Shy people are commonly known as the ones who sweat in to use the right words or exhibit the smart approaches girls love to flip over. 

They are more private and composed and prefer dry texts. Therefore, in most cases, the cocktail of thoughts remains pale and insipid with a one-sided emotional connection. 

You could see him as inept, unpolished, and a fish out of water in a social setting as well as in a personal wordplay, which in turn makes him a disaster in picking the pace up.

Related Read: Decoding Shy Guy Texting Habits

On the other hand, men who opt for face-to-face meetups are not much into the process of virtual talks. They would be perky when you see them in person, but no textual room can make sense to them in building an affinity.

#5 He is taking chances with you

Tick off the chances that he is doing all this with a calculated purpose. It means that the way he sinks into silence or stays away from asking you things during a mutual dialogue comes from his intention to poke and gauge your interest in him.

You know, it's a tried and tested process to trigger the intensity of someone’s presence by creating a temporary absence. 

So, you can view this as his intentional disappearance or reluctance to see your reactions and to know whether it impacts you or not. If he has a future plan with you, he must be very sharp in testing your patience and the repercussions at his aloofness.

Lots of men are discreet before taking a romantic turn with a woman. They use the time to think and determine whether it will be worth the effort to commit to somebody. 

Men often use texting as a way to test the waters, to gauge a woman's interest before making a more direct move.

- Helen Fielding, Bridget Jones's Diary

So, this quote from Helen Fields testifies to men’s desire to dip a toe into the water carefully before diving into the depth of a commitment.

This can be an insightful trick to deduce the ultimate truth. If you hadn't been interested in him, you wouldn't have bothered to give it a thought. 

That you are consulting and seeking expert advice is an evident sign that it does affect you. And after a certain time, he too will be able to conclude the same by your unstated restlessness.

How to keep him moving

The story doesn't end there. When you come to know about these possibilities, I think it will be your turn to play your bit with thoughtful and measured acts.

Supposing you have developed a feeling for him, now is the time to reverse the wheel with your own gestures and make him talk and join you in the shared discourse.

Experiment, experience, or end. 

See which one suits you best.

#1 Take the lead

Communication is a two-way process. It requires equal participation of people on both ends. So, when you perceive his passiveness, take the lead to get him out of his shell of shyness and make it happen.

Analyze the whole situation and the probable reasons rationally, and think about the best approach toward them accordingly. 

It could be a minor distraction or his apathy to continue the discussion. Trust me, making a conclusion based on assumption won't help. Therefore, follow the breadcrumbs and get the missing link.

There are smart ways to turn him around once you spot the error. Follow them as stated:

• Ask him open-ended questions that can't be answered with a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’ and need detailed information. By this, you can get him hooked on a specific topic. For instance, instead of asking, ‘Did you enjoy the movie?’ make it, “What did you like the most about the movie today?”

• Use your sense of humor by cutting jokes and sharing funny experiences with him. But remember his humorous side before you take the plunge.

• Try to talk about the subjects he loves to discuss. It could be his passion, his favorite actress, someone he looks up to, or his ambitions. 

• You can mention past memories that can make him feel nostalgic, and he might rediscover the old emotions he used to cherish once.

• Take references to your own life and professional parts to let him speak about his.

#2 Understand the meaning of the pause

Sometimes, being patient is necessary to acknowledge and understand a pause the other person wants to take. You cannot judge his silence without knowing what circumstances he is dealing with.

The best understanding comes through silent communication. If he finds you being friendly and unquestioning in his fleeting absence, he might appreciate your sense of boundary and feel free to talk about it later at the right time.

Sometimes, silence is the best response. Don't feel pressured to answer a text immediately if you're not in the right headspace.

- Lori Gottlieb

There are occasions when people wish the other person would give them the space to recollect their thoughts and respect their ‘awkward’ cloak of quiet.  And this is what is exactly said by L.Gottlieb in support of the self-chosen ‘break’ by men.

Learn to wait until he feels at ease to break the ice.

#3 Accept the end and back off silently 

What would you do if nothing works out despite your interest?

Then, my dear, the time has come when you have to learn this is a blind alley. I know it won't be easy to withdraw yourself, but believe me, the sooner you accept the final exit, the better.

After all the efforts fail, there lies an opportunity to learn that not everybody is your cup of tea, not you are their cup of tea either. Whatever you have shared has come to a wrap.

It will not stop your life from going on, so move ahead with the footprints by saying, ‘Have a great life.’

Tips

• Deeper conversations need verbal openness. So, before expecting his wholehearted involvement, be mindful about your own texts that mustn't be short enough to demotivate his responses.

• Encouraging him to talk about himself can be helpful if you know how to broach those subjects in the best way.

• Keep asking things that he cannot avoid by putting in a short reply.

• Bring up your life stories before him to make him relate to his own, and afterward, let him share a little more details in connection to yours.

• Wake him up from his ‘lull’ zone by expressing your exuberance and infectious energy to talk.