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Do Guys Assume You Are Exclusive? (Answered by Him)

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People, irrespective of their different time zones, places, and diverse religions and genders, are hungry for love- love that continues to motivate them into far more shaped things in life.

That is where the term ‘exclusivity’ comes in. A sense of single-mindedness in terms of devoting oneself to one's other half. 

Guys follow the same path when they know they have fallen for someone wholeheartedly, and in turn, they expect the other one to be focused on them with all their true emotion and genuineness.

As luck would have it, some find their exclusive partners very soon. In contrast, others have to undergo a long-term process of mutual understanding, communication, and emotional upheavals to find the right person for themselves.

Most of us may wonder about their actual status in a relationship after a short while of seeing each other. But let me be very honest, it doesn't come easy. 

A meager fondness makes its way to unfurl itself and grow into a stronger feeling of love that brings on a willingness to surrender when we stop our mind from distracting us with other people. We learn, by the grace of time, to come to a stop with a single person who would truly be our better half.

If you are here to get the tidbits of the world of ‘exclusivity’, wait for the article to serve the purpose. 

To offer a fresh lens

Each couple is unique and extraordinary, with the quality of exploring facets of romance and love. As I try to read the minds of young boys and girls, I come to a common assessment that at some point in time, either of them starts feeling sorted about their relationship goals.

This is a digital era, and an entire generation of youth is having a life of experiencing love stories on virtual platforms. They have an influx of means and are greatly plugged in about the ideas of relationships.

They have open access to online articles and expert guidelines to help them enter a romantic partnership with discretion and calculated insights.

Both guys and gals are using dating apps and social media platforms to meet people and try out options that are conveniently meaningful for reaching an exclusive relationship after a series of encounters.

They talk, share opinions, and make joint decisions to either move in or to move apart. And finally, one fine morning, they find the best fit for themselves in the form of an exclusive partner. 

How, why, and when will be a mystery if you don't have the patience to read through this blogspot that is perfectly optimized for those like you who are missing the key pieces of information about an exclusive alliance.

The highlighted segments will be

  • What does being exclusive mean
  • Why do guys want exclusivity in a relationship
  • What are the signs of being exclusive
  • What if you think otherwise

Let's zoom in on the details.

What does being exclusive mean?

The word ‘exclusive’ is an exclusive one in the dynamic of a relationship. Not everybody is completely aware of its implications and how it works. 

To assume your partner is exclusive for you calls for prior knowledge of the very expression. The definition won't come in a brief span and needs a rigorous discussion of its multifaceted atoms.

So, go with the flow!

#1 Exclusive dating versus exclusive relationship 

When a guy starts seeing a woman, there comes a stage when he assumes you are exclusive to them. 

But what does that really mean?

In simple terms, being exclusive is nearly synonymous with being monogamous. Monogamy is when you believe in having one partner at a time instead of going around with multiple others. So, being exclusive is the exact way monogamy functions.

Now, coming to exclusive dating, you must take it as a dating period when two people consciously agree not to see anyone else and to concentrate on each other. It's much like a trial period before the final show of getting official. 

Suppose you set out on the journey of dating by casual hook-ups with more than one person, and a few days or a few months later, grow fond of one of them in particular. You want to take it to the next level and decide to stop hanging out with others. 

This is the very part of the process where you choose to acknowledge each other’s company and invest your time and emotions because you want to give it a label of exclusivity and make it work out.

On the other hand, an exclusive relationship refers to the time when you have already taken the leap, got pretty serious about the person, and are formally titled a couple. In short, your relationship has shifted from the ‘test-drive’ dating phase to the ‘grand culmination’ point of permanent partnership.

#2 Difference between ‘dating’ and ‘exclusive dating’

What we understand by dating should be more precisely defined as ‘non-exclusive dating’ for ease of comprehension. 

Yes, it is a blatant truth that amidst the overt algorithm of digital match-matching, casual dating is ideal for most of the guys who have to keep up with the fast-paced demands of careers and spot the compatibility with their future mates before they promise a commitment.

To give you a clearer sight of the thin, blurred line between exclusive and non-exclusive dating, I must add and assemble a melange of loose ends.

Casual dating(often referred to as ‘dating’) is an open space for men (or women) to see several people, go out with them to measure their mutual desires, explore the suitability, and have the freedom to choose who among all of them actually fits the individual idea of a happy relationship. 

It involves less engagement, less responsibility, and fewer expectations, and you can go on trying through ‘trial and error’ to determine the potential romantic permanence simultaneously with a number of people. It is devoid of the intensity one seeks from the other in a ‘love story in progress.’

But if you think of exclusive dating, it is stuck to a single person to whom you want to pour in your emotions before transitioning into a relationship. It is a state where you date only one man or woman, although it doesn't guarantee the official seal of a serious relationship in the future.

In a nutshell, it is a dating episode that tones down to one guy or girl, restricting your options to that person to do the last experiment before having the tag of being ‘taken’. It is exclusive because it entails deeper emotional involvement and mutual consent in closing the doors to new connections.

#3 Who can be called ‘exclusive’ in a relationship

There is no standardized version of being an exclusive partner in a specific relationship. Still, guys assume certain characters in their partners as a part of their exclusive selves.

To be precise, an individual with whom you share a consensual communication suggesting that both of you will look for no one else as your partner is an exclusive mate. 

Since it is unequivocally agreed upon that two of you will solely be invested in each other, and the other one is supposed to stay faithful to you, it is a fair assumption that they are categorically exclusive. 

If I take the technical things into account, it is when your partner is emotionally and physically set for providing social recognition to the relationship and starts taking care of the partnership as an essential part of their life that you can claim them to have turned into an exclusive companion for you.

Why do guys want exclusivity in a relationship?

There are men and young guys who love to be in an exclusive relationship. Although it may not be true for all the guys out there, those who prefer exclusivity have their own reasons for the preference. 

The reasons are valid and varied.

Let me fill you in with them.

#1 They want commitment

Oh, the kind of men who want commitment are the rarest gems in an age of people taking random dives into the dating pool. They exist in the crowd of guys who hate casual flings after having enough of it.

Guys who are staunch admirers of holding on to one girl at a time might be the ones who haven't forgotten to trust in human connection, love, and loyalty. 

A guy wanting commitment is ready to respect your dreams and your beliefs, which allows you to be yourself. Without the foundation of commitment, it is never possible to build a strong structure of your relationship. 

This is the reason guys wish their partners to stay exclusive and add value to the dimension of their companionship. 

Those who are emotionally and socially committed to a relationship know how to care for their significant others and pay attention to their needs. 

So, men who love to be treated exclusively by their ladies are the ones who crave validation and undivided affection from them.

#2 Exclusivity strengthens trust

Being exclusive expands the boundary of trust and faith in partners. When you know that you can share your biggest secrets with the person next to you, there is an outflow of a long-suppressed flood of emotions that can only be brought out through a sense of co-dependence.

Building trust is one of the key components of a relationship. It is a healthy indication for people who are in love. And the quality of exclusivity develops an iron-solid trust in each other that people cherish and feel essential in their most vulnerable states.

I will explain with further detail.

For example, when a guy knows that you are dedicated to him and abstain from mingling with others as a sign of your spontaneous readiness to stay true to him, he loves to believe that you won't betray him and lays bare his heavy soul to you with unfiltered honesty.

Consequently, it fosters a safe space between you where both of you can rely on each other with your personal life and experiences.

An exclusive relationship, hence, encourages transparency, which is imperative in anchoring your hearts together. 

#3 Guys prefer stability and security

This goes with the men who have a history of being cheated in the past. A desire for security arises from the lack of it. Guys who have unpleasant experiences in their previous relationships strive for a secure future with their current mates.

Exclusive relationships ensure a safe nest of love, warmth, and graceful acceptance of each other. 

When a man learns that you are emotionally invested in him and not interested in casual dates or random meetings with others, it takes a second for him to foresee the long-expected certainty. 

I won't say that every guy has a similar perspective toward exclusivity. But emotional security and stability are the first and foremost things for those who have suffered and survived infidelity back in the days of the past. 

Knowing that there is someone for you who can support you during the challenging moments and go out of their way to protect you gives you a feeling of integration and inclusion. 

Non-exclusive relationships are too open to assert the stability, sense of belonging, and harmonious resonance one looks for after an example of feeling abandoned by loved ones.

#4 They want a deeper connection

Do I need to mention that exclusive people affirm deeper connections? Yes, partners staying in an exclusive companionship are far more rooted in their committed landscape. 

If you mull over the concept of it, you might see that it tends to denote a bond that doesn't limit itself to having fun or exchanging ideas on superficial things. 

It goes beyond the surface level, and you would find yourself getting into meaningful conversations, securing an urge to connect on a deeper level, and having your innermost feelings aligned with his. 

And that's what exclusivity promises you to allow you to go beyond physical intimacy and look at each other in a light of empathy, approval, and appreciation.

Men who have yearned for selfless and unconditional love due to a phase of deprivation and emotional exploitation at some stage of life want someone exclusive as their partners who would never take their hearts off them. 

These guys opt for an engagement that will assure a life-long kinship that won't be breakable and easily damaged by empty words of falsehood. Therefore, exclusive relationships, to them, are the only form of relationship they admire and nurture.

#5 They might want to work together on important things of life

We probably don't know that there are guys who are best known to have a holistic approach toward a romantic relationship. It means that they adhere to the principle of equal contribution and the role of both partners in the canvas of a relationship.

This is rare, but a lot of guys think this way. They get immensely pleased by sharing the dreams, desires, and goals of their female halves and working on them to make them a reality.

If both partners are in sync with their ambitions, aspirations, and personal milestones in the context of their romantic commitment, they might jointly brainstorm actions and executions for the shared objectives.

For example, buying a new house or saving money for a world tour can be a mutually decided and preferred mission of a couple, where it becomes easier for the guy to make a harmonious resolution.

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.

- Henry Ford

The above words of Henry Ford have the echo of the message that for a successful relationship, partners are to move hand in hand and keep things gathering pace of recognition with a collective effort.

You might ask, what is the role of exclusivity in this?

Well, it's the exclusive pattern and mindset of people that bring them onto the same page of investing time, emotions, and energy toward navigating a life’s adventure, led by the relational liabilities they carry for each other.

What are the signs of being ‘exclusive’?

How is a guy supposed to identify the exclusive features of a girl? How long does it take to reach the point of exclusivity? 

There are visible signs to follow that would remove the clouds of confusion. 

Get pumped to make your way to it.

#1 You spend long hours with him

This is an age of rushing hours crammed with busy faces who can never afford to wait and waste time for anyone. We rarely get ourselves a free Friday or an off time during our pressing workweeks. 

But, when it comes to someone who we love to talk to on those running sprees, hear his voice, and suddenly feel a relieving sensation through the veins, it has to be the exclusive one who can outshine everything in our life.  

If you get a jolt of joy in the midst of your tight schedules to see his name floating on the mobile screen and happily manage a few minutes to make yourself available to him, trust me, he is the one your days are bound for.

It is not difficult to figure out that you are already big on this guy when you find the free days of your calendar filled with prior appointments with him in unknown places and weekends packed with long drives or movie nights with him to spend long hours and come back happy.

It was unanimously shared by couples in online forums like Quora that exclusivity proves its way through talking for hours and close emotional proximity with each other for a long time discussing aims and mutual interests.

And what else to look for?

  • You save your holidays to get to spend quality time with him.
  • You make impromptu plans to surprise him on a busy day.
  • You postpone or cancel others to accommodate yourself to his schedules.
  • You invite him to your place for his company during your lazy hours.

#2 You are eager to know his close circle

What an exclusive relationship abounds in is the air of certainty. So, when you can hear your inner voice asking for social validation, especially from his close ones, it's a big green flag about your confidence in the partnership.

Your eagerness to meet his family, friends, and acquaintances may be born out of an emotional need to stay close to them and see if you can get along with them in the coming years. 

It's an urge to know him better, his roots, his backgrounds, and whom he considers to be important in life. In a way, you are willing to be a part of his world and call them your family, too. 

Since these people are indispensable parts of his life, they start to matter to you as well, and you want to settle with all of their dark and bright sides. This is where you want to commit to the exclusivity by taking it to the next level.

Well, isn't that a big step toward getting officially together? 

Again, you will be equally keen on introducing him to your parents, elders, and best friend and silently wish them to love and accept him the way you do.

With a closer reflection, things will be clear that you are mentally prepared to fit into the bigger frame and turn the page of a new chapter with the guy that is not at all like your previous dating butterflies.

#3 You see a future with him

The seriousness of a relationship comes with the visions of the future. What I mean is, the moment you know you envision a future with a guy, be sure that he can be nothing but the love of your life, without whom your life would be an unfinished story.

We'll grow old together, like two old trees with tangled roots.

- Victor Hugo

Victor Hugo, in his lines, became the mouthpiece of a lover who wants to cross the roads of life with his partner and belong to the same future.

Seeing a future with him is an implicit hint that you are driven to grow together with an eye to the long-term well-being of the relationship.

Following are some of the ways you might contemplate a life together:

  • You open joint bank accounts with him and save money for shared targets.
  • You celebrate the special dates of his close people and get to know them closely.
  • You dream about getting married, and having your own family and kids.
  • You plan vacations and set a bucket list of destinations to explore with him.
  • You talk about moving in with him and living together.
  • You will start referring to ‘us’ instead of using ‘I’.
  • You will discuss your career and crucial decisions with him and want him to take part in them.
  • You may mastermind memorable experiences to celebrate your anniversaries.

#4 You make him your priority

You have possibly reached the pinnacle of exclusivity when you admit to yourself that he has become your priority whom you never think of treating like an option.

So, what made you convinced about the recent shift in priorities?

  • You are affected by all the ways he feels.
  • You want to see him smile and be happy.
  • You compliment his smallest efforts and encourage him by acknowledging his hard work.
  • You have begun to curtail other commitments in order to invest the time in him.
  • You feel excited to share his excitement and show that to motivate him more into action.
  • You will show up whenever he needs you, no matter what happens.
  • You will listen to him patiently and put aside other tasks to be with him.
  • You will brag about him and show off in front of others as a proud partner.
  • You will never miss a date that's special for him and try to win him out by doing the best things to please him.
  • You choose him over your favorite things and people unapologetically and unquestionably, without remorse.
  • To be with him and a part of his life will be the biggest goal of your life.

#5 His smallest details do not escape you 

The exclusivity of companionship lies in the cutest little things that are often ignored by us. We run after the glitz and glamor and fail to notice the incredible magic of the finest moments that are left in the subtle gems.

You don't realize, but the smallest details of his life are kept safe in your private cells of memory. 

You would forget the date of your graduation day or may miss the day to arrive and wish your brother on his birthday, but the name of his preferred whisky brand or dream place to travel won't slip off your mind by mistake. 

So, did you just remember what he wears every time you meet him? Or is it that you don't have to put effort into calling up the last time he had coffee with his best friend? 

There is a long list of ‘trivial’ things that might emerge with the most significant value if and when you are into the guy. 

What about having some instances?

  • You know what are the things and people who put him off.
  • You can mention the flavor of his favorite cake or ice cream. 
  • You are attentive to the way he takes a deep breath after boarding a flight or a lift.
  • You pay heed to his coughing habits at every turn of the season.
  • You are aware of his hidden signs of elation at the reference to his ideal film star. 
  • You are well familiar with the creepy way he falls asleep in the middle of a conversation.
  • You can say how he touches his hair while talking.

Most importantly, someone like you who doesn't only remember things but also keeps in mind how to surprise her beloved with those threads of nuances is the one to call an exclusive partner by all means, no question asked.

#6 You have stopped dating other men

This is a stepping stone to fleeting into an exclusive relationship when you gradually get rid of the dating apps you have been needing so far. It implies that you hardly need them and the other guys to date around anymore.

It makes a big deal because you have resorted to coming to a closing end and ceased to juggle among new guys.

Drawing a curtain to the dating expedition proves that you are all set to formalize your partnership and give it a seal of constancy.

Not only that, revealing your relationship status to online friends and fellow people is a means to let others know about your masterstroke and that you have made up your mind to become two halves of a whole with the fellow.

This is indeed the final call to declare that you have chosen the right one of the suitors and do not bother to experiment with anyone else. 

#7 He has become a part of your daily life

We have a handful of people who effortlessly become part and parcel of our everyday lives. Your partner may be the one who stays on top of those people. And it is beyond our conscious attention that they connect the dots so well, and we feel blessed at the end of the day.

It's a pleasing routine that we get used to, and eventually, we set a few quotidian chores with them, like saying good morning and good night, as a daily ritual of exchanging warmth.

Family Relations, a journal published in 2011, claims through research that partners in a committed relationship communicate amply to express their affection to each other, especially through text messages.

Consider this as your dream relationship if

  • You talk and discuss everything with him, regardless of the significance and relevance of the subject.
  • ‘Reached home,’ ‘Had my lunch’ these become daily notes of your love story.
  • Both of you provide guidance and direction to each other in difficult times.
  • He is your comfort zone with whom you can de-stress yourself.
  • You talk for hours on end, agree on specific days to meet up, and wake up with his phone call.
  • At the end of the day, he feels like home to you, where you wish to return.
  • He becomes the first one to receive good or bad news from you.

What if you think otherwise

It is one of the challenges to make your call and own your choice that can change lives.

And the worst part is when it tends to break the heart of someone with whom you have traveled far and wide on your life's journey.

But hiding your feelings won't do you any good either. So, here is how you can consider making your next move and take the edge off it.

#1 Talk it out in a direct mode

The best way to deal with this tough spot is to engage in a candid conversation with your partner without beating around the bush. 

Take a deep breath, calm your nerves, and follow your heart.

You can try these dialogues below:

  • “I really appreciate the honesty you possess to assume, expect, and express your desire for an exclusive relationship. You are a nice guy, and I can't deny that. I like you a lot, but right now, I'm not in the right state of life to contribute to a future with you. Yet, we can continue to date each other in other ways if that seems okay with you.”
  • “Let me be very honest with you. It's not that I don't like your company. Rather, I quite enjoy being around you and love the chemistry between us. But I think it will be too early to commit to an exclusive relationship. We should give it a little more time to explore things and reach a conclusion.”
  • “I'm still meeting other people and wish to be open to other guys. Apart from that, there are other priorities, like my career and personal growth, that I'm working hard on to concentrate. So, I guess exclusivity won't be my cup of tea right at this moment. We can still be in connection and make some good memories together.”

#2 Trust your gut

Keeping everything at bay, it's important to listen to your inner voice before you pound the pavement. Exclusive relationships are as rare as a needle in a haystack, which is why turning into your intuition will work like a shot in the arm.

To know yourself, you can

  • Take a brief and constructive pause and breathe in the fresh air to declutter your mind for a while.
  • Stop rushing things or forcing your emotions. 
  • Ask yourself if it is your fear of commitment or anticipation of losing the freedom that's creating the bubbles of uncertainty in you.
  • Try to become sure whether your past experiences are pulling you back from going into a steadier relationship.
  • Think and decide if you will indeed be happy with the choice you make.

Tips

Below are the tips on what to do if a guy assumes you are exclusive

  • Communicate your boundaries and the space you need to set things up for an exclusive relationship.
  • Talk about your expectations and limitations, if any, with clarity.
  • Honesty is elementary in maintaining the transparency of a committed relationship. Keep that in mind, and don't just jump to conclusions based on your assumptions.
  • Don't create false expectations or promises that you won't be able to live up to.
  • Show your consistency and genuineness of interest through actions and valid cues.
  • Catch up, unwind, and recharge your spirits with shared joy and laughter if you are confident about the prospect of the relationship.
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